Hi all,
This is my first time posting on this forum, or even any place like this, so I'm a little bit nervous. But I could really use some advice.
So I'm very busy this semester at school and I've had the usual stress related to being busy. But lately, I've been feeling more than that. I get upset over small things easily. And even more recently, I feel like I'm very sad, for little or no reason, all the time. I'm mostly okay if I'm actively engaged in something, like reading or talking; when I am engaged, I even laugh and smile. But the second I'm not, I just feel so down. I usually care a lot about my grades and worry about getting all my work done. But now, I know I have plenty of work to worry about, I just don't really care about my grades any more. I can't motivate myself to work. I want to just curl up in a corner, cry myself to sleep, and never wake up.
I've started seeing a therapist and today I told her how I felt. She said I probably have depression and wants to discuss on Monday whether I would like to pursue medication. I don't know how I feel about this. Any advice?
On another note, since my meeting with her, I've begun to doubt that I have depression. I'm convincing myself that I'm not actually sad ALL the time and I don't have all of the symptoms. I do this a lot; whenever I feel unwell, as soon as I tell someone that I think I need help, I immediately start to second guess myself and convince myself that I'm just imagining it all. Is this normal? Am I just imagining things or might I actually have depression? Do other people often talk themselves out of getting help? Any advice anyone has would be very much appreciated.
Thanks,
-Anne
Could it be depression? Or am I just imagining?
- By Lotesse · November 1, 2012 at 9:22 pm · 3 replies
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- By learnFMnow
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- November 3, 2012 at 11:05 pm
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No one imagines depression. It cannot be imagined. It is a real illness and if you feel depressed then you are depressed. I think meds might be a good thing for you. It cannot hurt to try.
I suffer major depressive disorder and will not function without anti depressants.
I hope you get better.
Debra
- By Lotesse
- Reply 3543773
- November 14, 2012 at 7:35 pm
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Thank you both for your replies and encouragement. I know that what I'm going through isn't just normal sadness or stress, but somehow I still convince myself that I'm just being a wimp and I just need to suck it up. But I can never seem to just "suck it up."
Anyways, I did talk to my therapist and she referred me to a psychiatrist. I saw him on Monday and he thinks that I might have mild depression. If this is mild depression then my heart really goes out to anyone who has more severe depression. I couldn't imagine dealing with that. As it is, I already despise myself and I've been scratching up my arms and neck just trying to get out all of my nervous energy and make the pain stop. I can't imagine what it feels like to have it worse.
In any case, the psychiatrist prescribed me with Celexa (citalopram) and I should hopefully be picking that up from the pharmacy soon. I'm not a fan of medicine, in general, but I just want to stop feeling this way finally. I hope it starts working really fast. I would hate to be this depressing when I go home to see my family for Thanksgiving.
On another note, does anyone know anything about that medication? I've done a fair bit of research and I'll start taking it anyways, since it doesn't seem too bad. But I would love to hear some personal accounts so I can know what to expect. So what do you know about Celexa (citalopram)?
Thank you all.
-Anne
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Hi Anne, you sound like me. Always thinking I am a hypochondriac. Your symptoms sound real. I did finally go on meds that are helping me. Talk to your therapist. If you go on meds the only advice I have is to tell your doc you want a tried & used medication, not this new stuff. Prozac and Zoloft,have been on the market a long time. Zoloft was my savior after I do not know how many they tried. But discuss with a physician or therapist. Xo good luck Liver2009 (Margee)