Bipolar son

My son is 20 years old and my husband and I are finally trying to get help for our son. He has bipolar disorder and a seizure disorder. He can be very belligerent, and mean towards me. Although he take turns on who he is going to hate on a daily basis. Nothing makes him happy other than when he has money. He hates me in particular even though all I do is help him. I am at the end of my rope. I can feel his hatred towards me even though I try to talked to him in a kind and loving way, he always ends up insulting, and degrading me. I told my husband today if he does not help me find help for him I am leaving them. My son had hit both of us in anger. He broke my husbands finger in a fight and punched me in the face and broke my eye socket and cheekbone. He also has gotten into fights with strangers and friends. Any advise from anyone who has been through this?

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ma'am let me see if i can word this right.the hate he feel isn't towards you in general although it may seem like it. its just you are around him more so it come out on you , we feel hate, confussion ,torment, we can't understand what is happening to us or why,we are trapped in ourselves with all the presure that has built up it often comes out on the one we love, or anyone that is close and says anything wrong or right what has the doctors said has he been to see one,ma'am i day in his mind you would see the feeling of hoplessness that goes through him, money is a since of freedom thats why he is happy when he gets money when i had to go live with my mom i felt trapped under her control when my check came in thats when i could go to town for the weekend and do what i wanted and not having someone watching my ever move and telling me what i could and couldn't do i was free,whats your home life like as far as he is concerned,my home like was like a jail i stayed in my room most of the time, but he is young i was in my 30s and already had lived live he is young and probably just striking out mom never understood bi-polar you probably want either find him a place that will offer help and let him stay there once his head clears and he relaizes he has to control his action to come home things may changeits not your husbands fault he is as confused over what to do as you are ma'am

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HI,
I just want to say if you go under the post I must be going crazy you will read my story about our daughter.I feel for you as I know what it does to the whole family.We have done everything for her but she doesn't want the help.As you will read in my story I am fighting stage 4 breast cancer and I knew we just couldn't live like we were living.
I hope my story helps you but I will never ever take abuse from our daughter again and my heart breaks for her because it is true they get out of control but with help they can change.
Stay Strong!!!
Cathy
Remember one thing they take out their anger on the ones they love so don't feel he does not love you!!!

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You can't tolerate being physially abused. You and your husband have had broken bones! This is serious. Have you had your son admitted to a psychiatric inpatient program against his will. If he his hurting people, and he is, then you can do this. You might be saving his life, your life and the lives of others. Besides the fact that I have a 20 year old son, newly diagnosed as Bi-polar 2, I am an attorney, who represents people with disabilities. One man in particular was bi-polar. He had been diagnosed as a teenager and had been hospitalized. His family was so afraid of him then that they had hidden all of the knive and sharp objects in the house, as they were afraid he'd harm them as they slept. He grew up, got his own place, and had a child. The child's mother and he broke up. One day she came by with the child to get a portable crib she'd left at his house. It was in the basement. As the two of them went down to the basement, my client stabbed the young woman 14 times. He never tried to hide or say he was innocent. In court his mother cried because she said in hindsight, she could see that in the months preceeding this her son had exhibited some of the same behaviors she'd seen in him when he'd had to be hospitalized as a teenager, and she wished that she had put it all together so that the young woman would still be alive. Everyone's life was destroyed here.

If there is a NAMI group for you to contact, and I am sure there is a state chapter everywhere, I urge you to Google it, and contact them for support and education on how to protect your family and help your son at the same time. It is not easy. I am working through this same stuff right now, but I was able to afford to get my son an apartment in my building, so I can keep an eye on him, but not have to live with him. His behaviors are not quite so severe, and he is taking his medication, as far as I can tell. Not okay by a long shot, but not harming anyone, including himself. I thank God for that.

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Hello dover2555,

I can't even fathem what you and your husband are enduring, you mentioned your son has seizures? I think Depakote helps control them as well as bipolar disorder. I can empathize w/ the mood swings as my boyfriend also has seizures, one of the side effects of Depakote is moodiness, rude, and not easy to predict or how to handle it. With the boy friend I try to just ignore it as he at times just wants to pick a fight.
depakote also comes in generic form so it is less expensive. I agree w/you he definitely needs help as do you and your husband. I hope this helps and good luck to you all.

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Hello again, dover2555,

Web MD is a good site to check out info on depakote.

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