Am I an addict or am I mental I'll??????

Ok. In my early 30s I was finally diagnosed with bipolar and severe depression. After 18 months of trying different combinations of medications I ended up going to a 30 day rehab. I am having second thoughts that NA and AA are what's best for me. I am labeled as an alcoholic althought I never really drank. Only during college and not at all since.

And I need meds, I don't care who says I should not.
Any who I'm in a recovery slump. I need more meds but feel guilty about getting them.
I need help

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Hello there!
Maybe you should see different doctors and see what they have to say? Maybe your doctor thinks you don't need them, but someone else does? If you feel like you are really in the need of medication, I'd suggest you'd see a therapist and talk to him about it. But don't overdo on the meds just because you feel like you need them
If you feel like venting or if you need to talk, I'm here for you.
Love, Jess.

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Well what kind of medication are you taking anyways??? If u don't mind me askin and if you were put in it why are they putting you in rehab to get you off? Don't feel ashamed if u do recreational drugs hey I do too and before I had my son I did alot of drugs :/ but I can tell you more if you tell me what your taking

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To begin with, I am sorry you have a bi-polar disorder. Know that you of one of "God's" chosen individuals and that you are "not broken", nor are you crazy. In fact, your more than likely, extremely intelligent, perceptive and creative. If treated properly, you can live a meaningful and "happy" life.

Don't let anyone "label" you as anything, including an alcholic. If you do have addictions to substances that are in fact true, any caring doctor will work with you to determine your course of treatment. Again I want to emphasize "caring" doctor/professional. I am only assuming if you have alchol or drug problems. It's the result of "self-medicating" yourself to cope with bi-polar disorder.

Do you have any close family member or friend that will help you get appropriate treatment?

If you have been diagnosed with a bi-polar disorder or manic depressive symtoms, yes you should have "THE" meds that will treat your disease. Why you are being told to go to AA or NA is beyond me as I don't know the whole picture. I know that "pills" to treat anything has become Taboo over the years, but again, if you have been diagnosed with this disease, I agree, medication is the answer, no if's, and's or but's about it. It's important for this medication to get into your system to balance the disease.

If your dealing with other drug or alchol issues with this disorder, medications for bi polar/manic depression will not be effective in your treatment and in fact dangerous to your physical as well as mental health.

OK, that's the "reasonable" person in me.

NOW- Why and who sent you to re-hab? What are you "addicted" to? Did re-hab help in anyway? What type of doctor (specialization) are you seeing? If you can start a dialog with me about this I can try and help you as much as anyone can, but be honest, I've heard it all ! Know that your road to recovery and treatment is all up to you and if you truly want to get better, you can. If you can "battle" bi-polar disorder you can beat any addictions you may have and find out that, "WOW" I can feel comfortable in my own skin for once.

Please respond. TampaBayTim

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I have known for a while that I'm bipolar/depressed all that. I began self- medicating with anything I could. First it was phentermine. Prescription diet pills. I would take a pain pill when I could find them. Then I found out my (now ex) husband was selling cocaine for a living, and not doing anything else to support our family. I was a stay home mom. I freaked out. I had never done cocaine. He convinced me to just try it. That it would help my bipolar more than anything else. Desperate for acceptance of his life choice and hopeful of relief of disorders. I tryed it. And loved it. One thing lead to another and a year later I checked myself into the hospital. I had done cocaine for a couple of months and just couldn't handle it, I had a breakdown. Went to the ER AND demanded to be checked into the psych ward. I wanted help more than anything. He was reluctant because he didn't want anyone knowing about cocaine in our lives. So we lied to our families and just said I had a bipolar meltdown.
In the hospital i was OFFICALLY diagnosed with bipolar depression. I also found out that week I was pregnant with my second child.
That was the first time I have had proper medication. Of course the hospital knew about the cocaine because of drug tests. My husband had no intentions of getting a real job or stop using himself.
The next 9 months, while being pregnant, I tryed different meds and med combos.
Fast forward to the next December and I checked myself back into the same psych ward. Still trying different med combos.
Finally Prozac and lamictal worked well. My doc also put me on 3 Xanax bars a day and ambien at night. This is where I hit bottom.
It was summer time, I had a one year old baby a six year old. My husband was the drug lord of the neighborhood. His parents were acting like he was perfect, just ignoring his choice of lifestyle, yet blaming me for being "crazy".

We lived on 100 acres in a big house in the middle of no where. Gated entry and no neighbors. I was a prisoner. Then I became a sedated prisoner. I would take a Xanax bar then cocaine to wake up. Back and forth.
Then the third December in a row, I screamed for help one last time. This time my mom took me to an official 30 rehab. There I detoxed and got back into civilation. It was like u was reborn. I made then most amazing friends there. They are still my closest friends 18 months later.

The day I got home from rehab i could smell my husband working with his cocaine in the laundry room. I lost it. We argued he pushed me down leaving a bruise in my arm. He said there was no way in hell I was leaving house excpecially not to go to IOP or AA meeting. I felt the exact same as the day I left.
I told him I wasn't going to live Luke that anymore. He became violent to control me. I told him I was going to call the police if he didn't leave me alone. He said call them so I can tell them your crazy. I did. He went to jail for 24 hours then next day he took all the money ( which I had no access to anyways) and filed for divorce.

Fastfoward 18 months later. And I now only take prozac and lamictal.
I was concidering adding adderall. But I think that would be a horrible idea.

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Do you also have ADD/ADHD? I didn't see it mentioned above. Adderall is a stimulant medication used for it. It won't work the same way if you don't have ADD/ADHD. You know how people might drink something caffeinated to wake up? My son and I both have ADHD, among other things, and caffeine doesn't do that for us because it's a stimulant. Stimulants help us focus and concentrate and control impulsive or hyperactive behavior easier. However, for someone who doesn't have ADD/ADHD it's more equivalent to "speed".

I also want to say that I am very happy and proud that you were able to leave your abusive husband. That in itself makes you an incredibly strong person. Then to have dealt with your other issues yourself, be able to recognize when you need help from professionals, accept help from family, and be able to check yourself into rehab? There are no words to describe that kind of strength. That is beyond admirable!

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Many people are both mentally ill andchemically addicted (MICA). There are MICA programs at many facilities that treat the addiction and the underlying mental health issue, in your case bipolar illness.

I have been in recovery for 22 years. I no longer drink or take drugs. I have watched too many people think they can drink but not use drugs. In most cases they go back to drugs. A drug is a drug is a drug. Alcohol and non-prescribed or recreational drugs are all taken for affect.

It appears that based on your history your docs have determined that you are an addict. Given what you've told us I believe it would be a wise idea to stick with AA and NA and take only those meds as prescribed by your psychiatrist.

Good luck!


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Wow thank you so much for saying so.

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