ADHD / OCD husband...

Hi there my name is Melissa , I'm 29 & my husband is 30 , my husband suffer's from ADHD as well as OCD , his biggest thing is checking , he's a major checker , not to menton a major worrier . My husband's OCD has only gotten worse in the last 5-6 yrs , every time he leave the house & then comes back he feels this need to check every room in our house, he has to check to see if all the doors are locked , from there he has to check the kitchen making sure everything in it's rightful place , he then feels that he has to check the two other rooms in our house , on top of all of this my husband is very very picky about how clean the house is . Now with me suffering from ADD, this makes things ten times more intense between us , I will fully admit that I hate to clean house, especially with the fact that my husband's OCD is so bad , that I feel that no matter how much I try to clean to his satisfaction , he will always find something criticizing to say . My husband's other biggest problem is he feels the need to touch and re touch things , making sure the nobs on the kitchen sink are straight , analyzing things in the house, checking to make sure everything is straight . Of course my husband's OCD has caused many many disagreements between us , his OCD is very over stimulating to my ADD and there are many times where I just get so frustrated & over whelmed with it that I just don't want any part of it , simply because his checking rituals mostly center arround me , which i do not understand . Now with the fact that we live in the state of NC , our mental health services here aren't all that great and I have yet to be able to find help for my husband's OCD , even tho has medicaid and Medicare .

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Hi Melissa,

Thanks for reaching out.....

My name is Bob and I work for Mental Health America, I am not a licensed mental health professional but there are a few resources I can direct you towards.

First, I understand that it must be very hard to deal with your own health issues (ADHD) as well as deal with your husband’s. It sounds like you have some good insights on the mental health conditions but you could use some additional support.

You could call the Mental Health America North Carolina Affiliate referral line at 1 (800) 897-7494 to see if there are any local resources to assist you and your family in receiving treatment.

As well as check out the OCD fact sheet at to see if learning more about OCD might help.

Also, from our ADHD & adults fact sheet here are some tips:
Some tips that adults with ADD have found useful include:
- Use internal structure. This includes using date books, lists, notes to oneself, color coding, routines, reminders and files.

- Choose “Good Addictions.” Select exercise or other healthy, favorite activities for a regular structured “blow-out” time.

- Set up a Rewarding Environment. Design projects, tasks, etc., to minimize or eliminate frustration. Break large tasks into smaller ones; prioritize.

- Use Time-outs. Take time to calm down and regain perspective when upset, overwhelmed or angry. Walk away from a situation if needed.

- Use Humor. It’s useful if partners and colleagues are constantly providing an aggressive push to help one stay on track as long as it’s done with humor and sensitivity. Learn to view symptoms of ADD with humor and to joke with close friends and relatives about symptoms such as getting lost, forgetfulness, etc.

- Become Educated and an Educator. Read books. Talk to professionals. Talk to other adults who have ADD. Let people who matter know about personal strengths and weaknesses related to ADD. Be an advocate.
I know it's not an easy process, but just know that OCD and AHDH can be managed with the combination of medication and talk therapy – so remember that things can, AND WILL, get better!

Be well,

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