I finally found the strength to post here.
On May 16th at about 1:00AM my wife Laurie left.
A mere 14 months after dx... 14 months. She was 54.
When I first joined this site, I was excited to read about long term survivors of sclc. Even those with mets.
However, Laurie wasn't to be one of the lucky ones.
She fought hard, refusing to believe that her time was limited. She bravely accepted Cisplatin, Etoposide, Irinitecan, Carboplatin, Taxol, (those lovely Nulasta shots) Sutent and even a clinical trial in Boston with a Kidney cancer drug that has proven to work well on sclc (HSP90). She could not halt the progression of this horrid disease. All because one single cell decided to wake up and go haywire.
She leaves behind three beautiful children who did nothing to deserve losing their mother. A 15 year old son who adored her. Two grown daughters, 28 & 20 who will remember their mother loving them like no other person ever could. Her own Mother who for the last year devoted her entire life trying to ease her daughter's pain and keep her positive about the possibility of remaining here for a long time.
The last month was the hardest.
With no treatment, the cancer was given cart blanch to grow at it's evil and aggressive will.
All we could do was to try and make her as comfortable as possible. Which at times could be so frustrating. Because, how comfortable can you make someone in that position? You see life slipping away from a loved one and you just want to hold them and say "please don't go, not just yet".
Were it up to us...
Me? I'm trying to make sense out of something that in no way can be made to make sense.
I am now a single parent and a widow.
I met Laurie when I was 16 and she was 15. We've been together for 40 years and my best friend is no longer here. Someone who I knew better than myself.
My message to you now comes from a place of knowledge...
Don't give up.
Continue to fight.
Eat healthy, get advise, research, ask questions, find the best Onc. you can, get second, third and fourth opinions.
The one most important thing is...
STAY POSITIVE... believe you can be well.
I believe you can be.