Laurie Marie Sulton

I finally found the strength to post here.
On May 16th at about 1:00AM my wife Laurie left.
A mere 14 months after dx... 14 months. She was 54.
When I first joined this site, I was excited to read about long term survivors of sclc. Even those with mets.
However, Laurie wasn't to be one of the lucky ones.
She fought hard, refusing to believe that her time was limited. She bravely accepted Cisplatin, Etoposide, Irinitecan, Carboplatin, Taxol, (those lovely Nulasta shots) Sutent and even a clinical trial in Boston with a Kidney cancer drug that has proven to work well on sclc (HSP90). She could not halt the progression of this horrid disease. All because one single cell decided to wake up and go haywire.
She leaves behind three beautiful children who did nothing to deserve losing their mother. A 15 year old son who adored her. Two grown daughters, 28 & 20 who will remember their mother loving them like no other person ever could. Her own Mother who for the last year devoted her entire life trying to ease her daughter's pain and keep her positive about the possibility of remaining here for a long time.
The last month was the hardest.
With no treatment, the cancer was given cart blanch to grow at it's evil and aggressive will.
All we could do was to try and make her as comfortable as possible. Which at times could be so frustrating. Because, how comfortable can you make someone in that position? You see life slipping away from a loved one and you just want to hold them and say "please don't go, not just yet".
Were it up to us...
Me? I'm trying to make sense out of something that in no way can be made to make sense.
I am now a single parent and a widow.
I met Laurie when I was 16 and she was 15. We've been together for 40 years and my best friend is no longer here. Someone who I knew better than myself.
My message to you now comes from a place of knowledge...
Don't give up.
Continue to fight.
Change EVERYTHING.
Eat healthy, get advise, research, ask questions, find the best Onc. you can, get second, third and fourth opinions.
The one most important thing is...
STAY POSITIVE... believe you can be well.
I believe you can be.

Kasim Sulton

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43 replies. Join the discussion

Kasim

My heart bleeds for you and your children, the loss of a mother and adored wife must be unbearable, I do not have the words to comfort you but am thinking of you and wishing that you get the strength and courage to carry on in memory of your beloved wife.
They say time heals and perhaps it does but nothing will ever fill the void. Perhaps what time does is eventually instill acceptance, but you're right it will never make sense. Maybe when we all make it to the other side will we really understand.

I wish you well.

ADC

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Our prayers and thoughts are with you and your family, Kasim.

That was a beautiful, albeit tragic story told with great courage.

Your three children are lucky to have you.

Art.

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Kasim,
I am so sorry for your loss, and I could not have read your post at a better time since my loving husband is at the hospital right now receiving another transfusion to boost back after chemo. You're right about the positive attitude, but today, he asked the doctor what would happen if he stopped treatment. I hope this isn't a sign that he is tired of fighting and just an inquiry. It pains me so much to watch him change, but I tell him that I love him as often as I can and cherish each second with him knowing that I need to prepare to let him go. We have been married for 19 years with no children so I will be continuing the journey solo, but he will always live in my heart. Your encouraging words could not have come at a better time for me, and I thank you and will pray for you and your children's continued strength.

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Dear Kasim,

Thank you for sharing the details of your wife's struggle with the Beast. My husband is going through the same process, and it helps to have any practical suggestions about how to get through the next days, wekks and months.

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Dear Kasim,
My sincere condolences and prayers for peace. May the pain of your grief be somehow eased by the knowledge that Laurie does not suffer anymore. This beast is horrible. I can't wait for that day when a cure is at hand.
Hugs,
Angel

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Dear Kasim
This line in your post seems to sum it up for me:

"Me? I'm trying to make sense out of something that in no way can be made to make sense."

There is no sense at all. It is so random, and that is why it is so hard to accept.

I am so sorry you have lost your beloved wife to this cursed disease. It is wrong, it is unfair, it is 'something that in no way can be made to make sense'.

Sometimes I can't help but think, how is it that murderers, rapists, child abusers and other evil beings are able to continue to live, and probably continue to perform their evil deeds, and yet a sweet, loving mother and wife is condemned to die of cancer?

I guess it is impossible to answer. Back to: 'something that in no way can be made to make sense'.
With love and best wishes, Carolyn

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Kasin;
so sorry, and so true. Ask all the questions and fight against" the dying light" I hope you and your three children carry on Lauries' legacy.

With love and spirit

Stefano

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My prayers for you and your family. May you feel the warm love of God and this group surround you and hold you gently. Jo Ann

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I just want to offer my thoughts and prayers to you and your children. I pray that you surround yourselves with love and god protect you all.

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Dear Kasim,
I am so sorry for the loss of you wife, the love of your life. My heart goes out to you and your children and to her mother.
Well written, moving and heartbreaking.

Annika

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I am so sorry. This is so heartbreaking. My husband and I were about the same age as you and your wife when we married, 47 years ago. I can't imagine...
May God help you and your family through this terrible loss.

Joan

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Dear Kasim,

I am so sorry to learn about the passing of your loving wife.
Be patient with yourself, it is going to take time to heal from your cancer journey with Laurie and her passing.

God Bless you.
Alta

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Dear Kasim
My deepest sympathy to you on the loss of your of dearly beloved wife and to your daughters on the loss of their much loved mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you during your very sad time.

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My deepest sympathy at the loss of your beloved wife. My heart hurts for your children also. Give yourself time to grieve and hopefully you'll find joy in the memories you have of her.
joan

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Kasim, my heart breaks for you and your family. I have a fourteen year old son, as well as one who is twenty five and a daughter who is twenty six. For more than six years now they have lived in fear of losing their own mother, and although I have imagined it a hundred times...we will never be prepared. I am so sorry.

You have shared this news with us in a way that extends great generosity to each of us in this fight. To do so in this circumstance is beyond gracious. Hang onto your love and your memories--it is what I wish for my loved ones. And may this vicious disease be eradicated...

Linnea

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My thoughts are with you, your 3 children, and your mother-in-law. What a tragedy to endure.
Cathy

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Your words have touched me. All my prayers are with you and your children. Your wife sounds like she was quite a fighter, good for her. I wish, as we all do, that this evil killer could be defeated! Hopefully someday soon.

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I'm so sorry for the tragic loss of your best friend, wife and mother of your children.

Joyce

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Very sorry about the loss of your wife, wishing you strength

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I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your lady.
We are here to talk with and vent your feelings too.
God bless you in this time of grieving,
Sandy

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