I still smoke .....................................................

i feel like a monster and a peice of s--- why cant i quit i have a good family ,good life wonderful husband and still i sneek for a ciggerate i have 2 grandbabys coming in july and still i smoke" why "i no there so bad for me so why am i so selfish im having surgery on thursday there taking my left upper lobe out and still i smoke i feel like god is gonna punish me and i wont wake up from surgery my good friend quit as soon as i told her i had cancer she didnt want to go throgh what i was going through i'm just sorry

Report post

56 replies. Join the discussion

nybundys, I'm still smoking too, Dx with 3b nsclc in Jan 08, no surgery, just Chemo and radaition, Boy I know how you feel, beat myself up daily, while the drs beat me up monthly, God doesn't work that way, he won't punish you, least wise he hasn't me yet ha ha. All I can say is keep trying. Known facts are even if we quit 20 years ago we could still get cancer, my bother quit 25 yrs ago and died of sclc. While at the moment I am Ned, I know it would help my lungs to quit, I feel the same about friends and family putting up with my smoking, that doesn't stop me because I just like to smoke and I figure the damage is done so to heck with it, such a bad way to look at this, so everyday I wake up and say todays the day I quit, ya right, my lastest plan is to target a day so I picked ash Wed, I always give something up for lent, I pray that works for me. Good luck to you and just keep trying thats all we can do with this addiction, we have enough beating at us without the quilt. Put me on your friend list and we can compare notes, there's alot of us on this site still smoking and having trouble quiting.

Report post

all i can say is that your not alone i still smoke and every time i see my onc she asks if im still smoking and i say yes she just shakes her head makes me feel so guilty but i feel that people just has to blaim blaim blaim myself i feel they need to focus on a cure then they can blaim all they want myself ive put my life in Gods hands and i feel he doesnt look at me any differently then his other children will be praying for you as i do for the others with this horrible disease

Report post

Hi nybundys

As a past smoker I still can feel the comfort that cigarettes gave me during stressful times.

DO NOT beat yourself up over still smoking. Take a few deep breathes and look at ways that can help you to overcome a life long habit. Instead of feeling bad about still smoking, think about the coming birth of your 2 grand babies and make them the reason as to why you want to stop smoking. Three new lives...yours and the 2 new grandchildren can be the fuel needed to start the fire of change.

My love for my family and friends always gives me the encouragement to help me get through those days when I yearn for just one more puff on that "white stick from hell".

I WILL QUIT SMOKING...believe in those words.

My very best to you on your coming surgery and the birth of your new grandchildren.

Report post

While we all know smoking is bad for us (yes, I smoke) my mom never smoked a day in her life and was dx with IIIb nsclc in june 08. No one smoked in mom's house because she had asthma for years. No, God won't punish you (we do that by feeling the guilt). When mom was diagnosed I wanted to lay down the smokes but so far haven't been able to. Just hang in there and keep on trying. I'll be praying for you.
Pam

Report post

You have a whole lot of stress in your life it can only be expected, that you slip every once in a while. Have you tried using Chantax it worked wonders for me, and I was a pack and 1/2 a day before. Know that it's OK to slip up here and there but at least you are aware of it and that will keep you on your toes to at least slow down a bit.

Report post

If at possible, you should stop before surgery, because it does make for a safer anesthesia process. But...look at it this way....you definitely won't be smoking when you come out of the anesthesia! And while you are in the hospital you have the perfect opportunity for a full-court press to stop. Ask the Dr. to prescribe an anti-smoking medication to be started before you leave the hospital. Good luck on all fronts.

Report post

I quit cold turkey when Doc found a two inch blood clot in my coriod artery. Then they found my stage 4 lung cancer by accident. It was like a switch in my brain that I knew if I wanted to beat this thing I had to quit now... I have been ned for 7 months now. I do think of smoking still 16 months later but I haven't even had a drag lol I stay away from smokers just becasue it now smells so bad... I was a chain smoker before this so if I could do it you can find a way .. It will be worth it. Good luck

Report post

GOD does not punish but we punish ourselves in many ways, mentally and physically. Your lungs will punish you if you continue to smoke. The open surgery is brutal and if you want to go through the anesthesia and recovery process without complications, throw out the cigarettes. Think about your family and grandkids. Take a walk, do yoga anthing to distract you when you get the urge. Hopefully since you can't smoke for a while after surgery that will help you quit. Yes a cure needs to be found but we also have to take responsibility for our own health. 85% of lung cancers are caused by smoking!. I love sugar but since there is diabetes in my family i had to give it up. I have elevated cholesterol so I don't eat fats. Do I like it. Hell NO. DO I want to live! Hell Yes. Would i let a cigarette control my life. Hell NO!!

Report post

I quit in June 08 when diagnosed with limited SCLC. I am still not smoking, but I am sorry to say I miss it nearly every day and the peaceful I got from smoking. I also know that if I take ONE puff I will be a smoker again. My husband now smokes outside, and people are quick to tell HIM to quit now for my sake- while THEY too go outside and smoke. My mom died of emphasema and I continued to smoke when she took her last breath. I never would have quit if I hadn't been in the hospital- in fact, that was my resource for quitting- I had the patch, and I slept a lot- which sleepiness was a side effect of nicotine withdrawl for me, so I used that to my advantage and caught up on my rest back then.
Don't beat yourself up! Quitting is HARD!!!!! I once read somewhere that nicotine addition is STRONGER than cocaine addiction! I tend to think it's true- I could have never quit without being hospitalized- I would have drove myself crazy and those around me as well.
Good luck with your surgery. Hang in there.
Nettie

Report post

I have very strong feelings when it comes to quit smoking and all the excuses that are given. I smoked 3 packs a day and smoked for about 44 years and tried many times to quit. My mother smoked for 56 years we both quit 3 1/2 years ago. My husband finally quit Oct. of 2007 with the help of Chantix.
I know it is hard, but this is something you have to do for you and your family. I know there are those who say they never smoked and those who quit many, many years ago and still got LC. Individuals can argue about this all they want the fact is that it kills and makes a lot of people very sick.
It also hurts those who support you like your family, friends, and your health care team. I know that I sound harsh, but there is no easy way of talking about this subject.
Maybe say a prayer to quit for every time you light up. After your procedure you won't feel like smoking, take this opportunity to throw those cigarettes away for good.

I will pray for you and hope your surgery is a success
((GOD loves you.))

Mary Ann

Report post

I feel like every time this "type of discussion" gets posted that one way or another "judgements get made" - so you know what - we all make "choices" in our lives - and no one has the right to goan, moan or anything else about YOUR choices unless it it harmful to others....so - that said - you're an adult - make your own choice and stop beating yourself up - If you truly wanted to stop you would choose to!
Karen

Report post

Stopping smoking is so hard. I have done it many times. Even now i might walk by someone smoking and take a deep inhale just to smell the tickle in lungs. I don't know if the urge to smoke ever goes away. It is a daily It is a daily battle for me but i just try to tell myself i am stronger than the smokes. The other things is i make myself pay the kitty $5 a day that i would have spent on smokes. My hubby and i use it for treats. We took at trip to Bermuda and London on the money we both saved. Now we are saving for a new deck. It seems the little things helped for me. Good luck and don't beat yourself up. That does not help your resolve to change things.

Report post

Thank God, I had quit 2 years before getting the diagnosis! One of the things that made me stick to not smoking was the vision of being in the hospital and not being able to smoke. (This was years before I got diagnosed -so maybe I had a premonition?)

We go through hell with this diagnosis, At least I didn't have to worry about going through nicotine withdrawal on top of everything else and I could say "I quit smoking 2 years ago when asked.

The fact is - you will not be able to smoke while in the hospital- so if possible get a patch or something to help with nicotine withdrawal. The plain truth is that we are addicts and when it has us- it has us. The only way to quit is to not pick up a cigarette no mattter what. For a long, long time. After a while - you won't even think about it.

In your position, I don't know what I would do, but I know I think I would be shoving cigarettes in my ears and up my nose I would be so nuts with all of this. Cigarettes were my life coping tool. Look for someting else to be that for you. They are actually killing you and hurting every area of you life. They really aren't ( as I always thought) your best friend.

Big prayers go out for a sucessful surgery and full recovery.

Report post

Don't feel guilty! My mother is battling stage IV and having chemo and radiation and she is still smoking almost a pack per day (give or take). I use to be a smoker and after I quit I made the promise to never harp anyone because of it. Even with my mother being as sick as she is...the only thing that I won't do is buy them for her. If this is your form of self therapy then do what you have to do!!!

Report post

I am with the others. God does and will not punish you for still smoking. It sounds like though, he may be giving you convictions, or your giving them to yourselves. It is what makes us not enjoy, the "sin" so to speak. That quilty feeling. You are a beautiful person with an aweful disease. You are a smoker, it is a bad habit and very hard to break. Your human, just like the rest of us.
I have smoked a few since my surgery, two years ago in March. For me, every time I do, I also feel like I am cheating myself.
I dont want to get addicted to them again.
I am with Karen. It is your choice. Nobody elses. Sometimes, for me, the feeling of live to the fullest, is not always the best thing if it means putting ourselves at risk. On the other hand, if it brings you comfort, and you must smoke do. Again, YOUR DECISION. I doubt unless someone else has cancer as well, and has tried to quite smoking that they would understand. Heck, i usually cant find someone who understands my fears or discontentment. It goes with the terretory so to speak. I also tried the Chantax. It is a great start to quitting. Worked for me. Ismoked like many others until the day of my surgery. After that, a whole new beginning if and only IF we want it. Just hang in there. You may also want to get some anxiety meds to help you with your anxiousness or withdrawl.
Good luck on your sugery.
Look at it this way, a change is there is you want it.
If your quality of life suffers for a while, and gains you some quality time, then it will all be worth it. If not, your a happy camper.
Quality vs Quanity, its been questioned for years.

You'll be in prayers.
Stay strong.
Becky

Report post

The words "your choice" kinda bugs me! You may wonder why, and I'll be happy to tell you. I have a goddaughter who has a 4 year old son. She had 9, yes NINE miscarriages before she had this baby. He is a strong, healthy, beautiful boy.

When she found out she was pregnant, she quit smoking cold turkey. Did not touch a cigarette until he was several months old. She coudn't breast feed, and went back to smoking. I HIT the ceiling!! Yes!! Why? Oh she tells me, if she has him in the car and is smoking, she always makes sure the windows are cracked. CRAP!! IF I stick my head into her car, it smells like a Gentlemens' Cigar Palor.

Oh, she says, "we don't smoke in the house, we go outside. BULL BLEEP !! I know the people who live in that house and they are not going to stand outside in 20 degree weather to have a smoke.

Her house stinks of smoke, consequently we do not visit often. When I hug her, I hold my breath because I can't stand the smell of cigarettes in her hair. I pick up her little boy and put him on my lap only to put him down in a minute or two because his clothes stink of smoke.

Have I told her how I feel? You bet! When she visits me, she does without cigarettes or she DOES go into the back yard to smoke, no matter how cold it is, and I don't go out with her.

So tell me how about her SON'S CHOICE? Doesn't he deserve to have his mommy around to raise him? Doesn't he count?

Smoking is a terrible addiction. I know, I smoked many years ago and quit long before there were any patches or gums or prescriptions. It was tough! I actually broke out in hives on my face, in my scalp, and on my back. My doctor gave me some ointments and told me to try to tough it out and not to go back to cigarettes. It took me an entire year for the hives to finally let up. I did put on a few pounds from munching but that didn't last. Even after all of that, I smoked long enough to still get cancer.

Bottom line is.........smoking doesn't affect JUST you. It affects everyone your love and who loves you. My Goddaughter's smoking affects me, for I do wonder who will raise her little son if she gets cancer. I will never say to a person "It is your choice" because all the choices we make in life whether it is smoking or moving to Timbuktu affects others in our lives.
**Off my soap box now**
Marylou

Report post

The only good thing I feel at the moment is that I gave up smoking 2 days before I was diagnosed with lung cancer. I am pleased that I do not have to feel guilty whenever I speak to hospital staff.
I used a book called the EASYWAY by Allen Carr, my wife gave up some years ago using the same book. His organisation has offices world wide.
The only person punishing you for smoking is yourself, please try the book or go to one of the centres, if you truly want to stop smoking you will with this method.
Good luck
Jim

Report post

My husband never smoked and still got this horrible disease and I can't even imagine trying to quit (I used to smoke) during these trying times. Don't be so hard on yourself. One day (or minute) at a time. It'll happen for you.

God Bless.
Tina

Report post

Marylou, that was very well said! I couldn't have said it better myself. If she doesn't quit before surgery, she will have an increased risk of blood clots. It is very dangerous. I remember an article I read on reader's digest about a man who was in an accident that resulted in his two or three fingers being cut off. The doctor said he would not put them back on because he was a smoker. He said that smoking resulted in poor circulation and that the reattachment would fail. The man begged and begged and promised to quit smoking and told him how having his fingers meant he could work at the job he did. The surgeon finally agreed to do the surgery as the man had promise. About 2 weeks after the surgery the man was brought back into the ER. His fingers had died. He had started smoking again and therefor resulted in the permanent removal of his fingers. Now he will no longer be able to do the job he one did. I agree with you. Any and all addictions do affect loved ones as well in one way or another.
So it is best to kick an addiction in the bottom so that you can begin to heal and spend whatever time God allows with loved ones and live life to its fullest. There is more out there than a pack of cigarrettes! They are not your friend and your stress reliever. They are your enemy. A friend doesn't give you cancer!

Report post

Get the nicotine patch. You don't even need a prescription. Get the 21 mg size. If you smoke a little bit while on the patch, it'll make you feel sick. If you smoke a lot while on the patch, it'll make you extremely sick. It might even kill you. That ought to help you quit the habit.

After a few months on the patch, when your sense of smell comes back and you realize how disgusting the smell of burning tobacco is, it'll be easier for you to come down on the size of the patch without going back on smoking.

Report post

This discussion is closed to replies. We close all discussions after 90 days.

If there's something you'd like to discuss, click below to start a new discussion.

Photo of Dave Grant

The Lung Cancer Survivors Support Community has provided support for patients, caregivers, families and friends since 2006. We welcome over 600 new members every month in the fight against lung cancer.

ALK mutations and lung cancer

Join the discussion about ALK mutations and lung cancer

Things you can do

Discussion topics

Community leaders