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Worst: "We were talking and we decided that if you had to be married to anybody while going through lung cancer, you're the one to be married to."
Best: "Whatever happens, I will be beside you and I WILL help you get through this."
Cancer Surgery Heart attack Tarceva Dementia Lung cancer Diabetes Stress
Worst:"Lots of people get cancer,people die everyday.
What did you expect? YOU smoked."(Said all in the same breath from former best "friend".)
Best:"Noone deserves cancer-I cannot believe anyone would blame someone for their cancer.Is there anything I can do"? (From a stranger.)
Great topic Terry-We could write a book on this.Betsy
Worst: Your friend of over 12 years says "I can't take you of all people having cancer - I personally can't deal with it." Then never heard from him at all during the fight - only small notes from his wife.
Best: I forgive him with all my heart. No one ever wants to say good-bye to the people they care about. BUT - I made it and I still love him as my friend.
This is when I had tyroid cancer that had spead to my lymph nodes ( I am cancer free for more than 15 years) but by BROTHER said "why do the good die so young?".. Humm how do you take that question?..
The best thing that has been said to my mom tho is "I sure have loved the time weve spent fighting to gether" by her pinocle partner of several years.
Worst was from a visiting priest at the hospital after my mother's surgery: "What kind of cancer does she have? Lung? What, was she a smoker?"
Best was from my mother's nurse, said to my mother after she took a week break from radiation: "We've all missed you."
Worst: Well it wasn't verbal, but when Mike was having a really rough emotional/depressed time, our Pastor was at the house giving him communion and Mike started sobbing, the Pastor looked at me with an expression that said, "what the hell is he crying about?"
Best, and not cancer related, but when my dad died, my brother in law, Mike's brother, said to my mom, "Let me know if there is anything you need." Mom replied, "Oh everyone has said that." Bob replied back, "Yeah, but I MEAN IT!" I have never loved my brother in law more.
Worst: No matter what the doctors say, it's worse than they're telling you.
Best: If love could heal, you'd already be cured.
Worst: from my sister to my husband..."Oh she will be fine."
Best: From an aquaintance. "That really sucks."
cynthia from MO.
Worst: It will get worse before it gets better.
Best: I'm going to keep calling and checking on you even if you can't call me back.
Worst!! "Don't worry so much, people your age get remarried all the time", from a former 30 year friend!
Best: " I couldn't have gone through all this without your support and help" from my sweet husband.
P
Worst:
I had an informal, off the cuff, consult with the head of neurosurgery at the hospital I worked at the day of my first brain MRI:
"I suggest you get your affairs in order immediately"
Best:
When I replied I was seeing Patrick Kelly at NYU the next week, he said:
"Then never mind, disregard what I just said"
G
Best from a friend when she was told I was having a biopsy " What do you want me to do?" ( not, let me know if I can do anything...)
Better: No one has ever said anything hurful to me in reference to my cancer ...I am a lucky girl!
Worst: Are you leaving me anything in your will? Do you have your funeral all arranged, this is from my loving sister.
Best- Some of the girls at work took up a collection to help you get some of the things you might need this week.
The lady who lives across the street, I hardly know her! sent me for no reason a basket of flowers for at halloween time.
The best thing said to me was shortly after dx. A mathematician friend in another state called to express his sympathy and added, 'You know, nothing has changed in your life except for some probabilities. I mean, you still COULD get killed by a bus tomorrow... THAT probability hasn't changed. But your probability of dying of cancer is higher than you thought it was before you got the news.' I loved it and think of it often! And I love how mathematicians think.
The worst things said to me were all things that I'm afraid would offend some people here -- I'll just say they all involved praying and/or fighting. ;)
Ellen in PA
Worst: From a Cook County doctor who was assessing my ability to return to work: "My neighbor had the same kind of cancer as you, same stage, just about the same location (not even taking into account that you broke your back and needed surgery for that before the lung cancer) and she was dead within six months!" (I came out of the building laughing and my husband said what struck you so funny that you are laughing so hard. When I told him, he was horrified!) BEST: "You can't imagine how many people love you and are praying for you! I am an atheist and I am even praying for you!" Blessings! Brooklynda
Worst: On the day on my husband's diagnosis, a friend called by for an update and coffee.I was upset about the diagnosis and could not remember how many sugars she had. When I asked her,she repied "Oh my... you are having a blonde day today"
Best: When I asked my husband what we would do differently in the future given his diagnosis,he said nothing.....My life is just how i love it , and I would not change a thing.
Worst: by primary doc when I wanted to see a new onc instead of the one she recommended "What difference does it make, really?" Needless to say she is not my doc anymore.
Best: By new onc "I want you to make your will and then put it away and forget about it and we will laugh about this years from now. Alway remember you are not a statistic!" I left that office in love with this onc.
The worst: "You did this to yourself by smoking and drinking", from my niece's husband when I told him of my diagnosis of Stage IV, NSCLC.
The best: "We will always be there for you, Dad, no matter what. Remember, you are loved", from my daughters.
Worst: they are going to crack you open
Best; Trust God, he will see you through it
Worse: Shortly after diagnosis, from a good friend, "This is just a bump in the road--it won't change your life."
Best: "I don't really know you--but I know of you. I think of you and your family often and I pray for you every day."
Best Actions--People who just do things. Drop off food, do lawn work, drop off groceries, pick up our son for football practice, send a card--not once, but many times.
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