We received the literature from hospice about what to expect and what to say/do while my dad is in his transition from this like to the next. It's been very useful. They say not to discourage him if he is "imagining things". My dad will watch something and then associate it with the here and now. For example, yesterday my dad was watching something and they had taken a women on a plane. He kept telling my mom that they had to go stop the plane. She told him that they had it under control but he was still insitent that they help.
She called me, and I told her to tell my dad that I saw on tv that the police were on their way and that they were going to take care of it and that if it was upsetting him they could watch something else.
Are we doing the right thing? My dad has been through so much in the past 13 months. I don't want him to think he is losing his mind on top of all of this!
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What Do We Say
- By jlu
- Posted October 30, 2009 at 12:24 pm · 6 replies
- In Non-small cell lung cancer - Stage IV
- Shared with the public
6 replies
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- By cards7up
- Posted October 30, 2009 at 12:35 pm
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I think you and your mom handled the situation perfectly. He is going to have these bouts of confusion and you just need to diffuse them the best way you can, as you did yesterday. As long as he doesn't put himself or anyone else in physical danger, it can't hurt to go along with what we call rambling. I hope your mother has someone close by in case she needs help quickly. Good luck and take care, JC
- By texaszan
- Posted October 30, 2009 at 12:53 pm
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When my husband was that way I kept the TV on TV land so all he watched was old family shows where nothing upsetting ever happened. Eventually I turned the TV off and just played music. Whatever you do don't let him watch the news...that was very upsetting.
- By jlu
- Posted October 30, 2009 at 1:03 pm
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My dad loves CSI and NCIS. We have been trying to keep him away from it, but he requests to watch it. I like the tvland idea. We will have to try that.
- By pattyp1
- Posted October 30, 2009 at 1:04 pm
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my grandma used to say something that I found interesting - she said that when people get close to their time, they spend more and more time on the other side, especially talking to their loved ones. I always loved the idea that I was holding one of his hands and his mother was holding the other from heaven....
that thought got me through - and my daddy never thought anything except that he was safe and loved. I think that this is all that any of us ever wants. and I know your daddy feels that from you.
I wish you didn't have to bear this burden - but at least you still have your daddy with you, and that makes you very, very lucky
many hugs
Pat
- By cuddles53
- Posted October 30, 2009 at 6:45 pm
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I am so sorry for this very hard time in all of your lives. I am sure medication causes this also. if he is getting pain medication and needs it, not much you can do about that. I would say keep him in a quiet atmosphere, if he does get scared, soothe him like you said with some soft music, maybe even have him play a simple game if he still can do it, even looking at old photographs can sometimes get their minds off of something that is scaring them. god bless you all.
Sandy
- By Family4Me
- Posted October 30, 2009 at 8:26 pm
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You did the right thing..my dad kept panting and telling us that he was tired of running and wasn't going to win that race. We told him that he did a great job trying to win the race and told him to find a shade tree that he could rest under. That calmed him for a while. Hang in there..you'll get through this. Dad is trying to tell you something. If you can, get your hands on the book called "Final Gifts"..it will help you to understand what Dad might be telling you.
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