We finally have a diagnosis for my 74 year old mom's cancer. She has Stage IV Adenocarcinoma -- a bit ironic, since she was a long time smoker and this is reputedly more of the non-smoker's diagnosis.
Complicating the issue, is the fact that she tends to throw clots. In fact, when she entered the hospital for pain control and the biopsy, they needed to take her off Coumadin for a day and her O2 sat dropped to under 90 and her oxygen went up to 5 liters from the 2 she was on at home.
She's still in the process of making the decision as to whether she wants to try the chemo or just elect comfort care through hospice.
She's really been through the mill these past three months with the emboli, a fractured rib from the coughing resulting in some excruciating pain, and additional pain from tumors that are on her spine.
The oncologist explained to her that, if she opted for chemo, he also expects her to be a participating partner by being active, having a positive attitude, and eating (something she hasn't done for the past few days). He told her chemo doesn't work well for people who just accept it passively.
Right now the cancer is in both lobes, the adrenal glands, the spine/ribs, and a small spot on the liver. With not treatment, my husband (an Internist) feels she won't last long at all, even though he hasn't told her that.
At last discussion, it seems my mother might be willing to try a round or two of the chemo. But in her weakened condition, I'm concerned it might put her down rather than improve things.
Me? I'm burned out right now and am not sure how I'm going to find time to balance caring for my mother with keeping myself healthy, both physically and mentally.
I'm also wondering if there are any other caregivers in the San Antonio, TX area who might be interested in starting a local support group, since I can't seem to find any that currently exist.
For now, I'm just glad I've found this resource and I look forward to getting to know some of you.
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We Have a Diagnosis
- By agru
- Posted July 1, 2009 at 4:54 pm · 3 replies
- In Family members and caregivers
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- By Family4Me
- Posted July 1, 2009 at 8:23 pm
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Hello. So sorry you had to find this site. I am sure that you will find it helpful and usefuel. We went through the wringer with my dad last fall and into this spring. Dad found out he had Stage IV Adenocarcinoma after he broke his arm unexplainably. I'm not sure why your Mom was told adenocarcinoma is a non-smoker's cancer. We were told that it is "the smoker's cancer". My Dad smoked for about 40 years before he stopped 10 years prior to diagnosis.
It sounds like your Mom's doctor is a real cheerleader. That is wonderful. Choosing treatment or hospice is a tough decision. Support your Mom in whatever she decides to do. My Dad tried chemo and radiation. Unfortunately, he did not respond to them. I told my Dad that I/we (our family) would support him and we'd fight as long as he wanted to fight. In the end, the pain from his bone mets got the worst of him and he decided that he couldn't fight the beast anymore.
Once Dad made up his mind, hospice came in and were very helpful. Dad was able to have pain meds that he would not have received had he not been in hospice care.
Hang in there. If you need anything, don't hesitate to IM.
- By peyz33
- Posted July 2, 2009 at 5:44 pm
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What your mom has is the most common cancer for people who DID or DO smoke - wonder why she was told differently - usually non or never smokers get small-cell (much worse and more aggressive) - but good luck - fight like hell!!!
Karen
- By sheilake
- Posted July 2, 2009 at 6:04 pm
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It is a tough decision to make on whether to "hang it up" or fight. Chemo can be a tough fight. Has your Mom considered a compromise like Tarceva? For most, it has fewer side effects and, if it works, can also blast away at multi-sited tumors and help restore her life. Sometimes doctors don't even recommend it because oncologists are so much more familiar with chemo.
Many of us with adenocarcinoma and the same level of mets as your Mom have had great luck with Tarceva. It takes just a month to know whether it works or not. Because it is a daily pill, it is easy to take.
Lance Armstrong Foundation (866.467.7205) has some wonderful phone support groups for Caregivers if you can't find something local. My Mom died a year ago today from cancer and I understand how critical it is to get help as a Caregiver. I applaud you for recognizing how exhausted you are... and doing something about it.
Best wishes,
Sheila
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