Hi to everybody - I have been absent from this listserve for a while, but thought I would drop by and say hi. I am still here, 4 years after a 3A/B diagnosis, and 3 years after my last treatment.
I am doing well physically - will not run a marathon any time soon, but walk faster than most of my firends:) I am very grateful for this - very happy to be doing well.
Emotionally I am still a mess, I think. I mean, lots has happened since - many wonderful experiences, and a lot of sadness too. My boyfriend who stood by me during the treatments abandoned me soon after - it was hard to watch my love die while I was trying to recover. Since this illness, I have a great hunger for life, for love... which others cannot quite handle at times:) I have many dear friends and family, and they keep me going, as I need all the love I can get:)
Wish you all the best,
Z
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Still here 4 years later
- By Z
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 9:02 am · 17 replies
- In Survivor stories
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17 replies
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- By brooklyn1
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 9:22 am
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Dear Z,
What a powerful journey you have had. First and foremost, congratulations on your fantastic recovery and good health. It must truly have transformed your life on so many levels.
It seems ironic and a cruel twist to have made such incredible gains on one side, only to suffer such treacherous loss on the other. Losing your love and life partner is devastating, and there is no way to minimize the impact of this on your heart.
But if you can get your head to wrap around the fact this could be a blessing in disguise, it might ease the hurt and help you move on. He may have left you for all his own issues, as disease doesn't always bring out the best in people.
This is a where trust in the universe comes in, and you seem to be moving toward that already. You have come close to death, and that has changed you forever. You are not going to settle for anything less than what is real to you.
When you are ready you will find the person who is ready to share this space in time with you. Until then, there is a whole new you to get to know and love, and that is a wonder-full inner journey to embark upon. Hold on to all the beautiful things you have learned, and let the new lessons begin! As someone here says: "Live, love and laugh." You have earned it!
All blessings and happiness to you. I am routing for you...!
Peg
- By Barb267
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 9:49 am
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Z
Thank you so very much for posting. For someone like me, just dx in April Stage 3A, it gives so much hope when everything has been turned upside down.
Here is to many, many, many more years,
Blessings,
Barb
- By Z
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 9:57 am
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Thank you for replying, dear Barb. Best of luck in your journey. Get informed, as many oppinions as possible, strengther your body with nutrition and supplements, exercise, and get as much love and joy as you can:) Write if you need any of my help.
- By beckylynn
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 11:44 am
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Z-
Thanks for posting - so glad to hear you are 'living life'.
Way to go.
Becky :)
- By misself
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 12:19 pm
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You are very encouraging.I am sorry you lost your love,but the growth that shines through in your post,is inspiring.I believe the world should be a little better when we leave than when we found it.Obviously just now you've helped 4 people today.I hope you have many more years of blessings.I really needed to hear you today,thanks,AndiB
- By Ruthy
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 12:36 pm
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Z thanks for writing this. My husband left me soon after my treatments started. Stage 4 non small cell lung cancer. Started in Sept 07 treatments til Dec 08. I have had clean scans since July 08. So one year clean scans 2 years still herelol . My divorce should happen by Nov 08. My husband has dragged this out he did not believe I would make it this long. Surprise.. Now to get my hair to grow(growing but it is weird hairnow ) You give me hope to make it to the 4th. Ruthy
- By Sandysiegel
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 1:00 pm
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Z!!
AWESOME post!
I also was just diagnosed in Dec 08, surgery in Jan.
NSCLC 3A.
Thanks for letting us know you're doing ok. I wish you many many more years of good health!
I need to see posts like this for hope. I come to this site 50 times a day looking for this kind of news.
Thanks Z!
:-) sandy
- By Beki
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 1:41 pm
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Z, I'm another newcomer here, with NSCLC 3b-4. I am so very encouraged by stories like yours: I really do want to be around for more than a year. I'm on O2 full time just now, get short of breath just walking across a room. I sure would like to be able to go out for walks! Well, my treatment has just started.
You just feed that hunger for life and for love, as best you can. We know how to savor every drop, don't we?
Love,
Beki
- By gesmommy
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 2:31 pm
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Congratulations and may you have many more! Thank you for sharing your story. Your story gives me hope!
- By gesmommy
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 2:32 pm
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Congratulations and may you have many more! Thank you for sharing your story. Your story gives me hope!
- By cuddles53
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 2:52 pm
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Dear Z,
Good thing you found out early about him and he is gone. it is sad when a relationship ends but... you deserve better my friend, you need someone who will stick by you through thick and thin, and through a cancer diagnosis as well.You will meet Mr. right one of these days. soon I hope take care and God bless Sandy
- By Z
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 5:45 pm
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What an ass, Ruthy... but you will find a better one now that you are rid of him:)
Thank you all for writing back and being supportive. Keep up the courage!
Z
- By peyz33
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 6:28 pm
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Z- Let's just say this - anyone who runs when trouble is at hand is not worth keeping - that said - good for you that you love life and are living it fully!!! I too was llB/lllA (had VATS) and 5 months of gross chemo - NED since then and still looking for a worthy MAN!!! Hang in there and be healthy and happy -
Karen
- By MarionW
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 8:55 pm
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I frankly don't know how I lucked out with my husband. He has hung with me through incredible meltdowns and near death. I feel the more blessed when I see the gorgeous, wonderful women who have had loved ones that could not handle the situation.
I can truly say - as a nurse- that many people just can't take it. I believe they love you but they just can't bare the pain of the loss and watching the suffering. They just can't do it.
I know for sure i am not the most loveable gal on this earth much of the time, but I do believe I would have stuck it out with my hubby if roles were reversed.
I believe there is someone much stronger in your future waiting for you both Z and Ruthy. This deal is not for the faint hearted.
- By Marylou1
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 9:02 pm
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Z:
You are one gutsy lady. Kudos to you!! You give a lot of people hope, and looking towards that 4 or 5 year mark.
Thanks for posting and remember that old saying? When one door closes, another opens.
Love to all,
Marylou
- By Marylou1
- Posted August 28, 2009 at 9:04 pm
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Ruthy:
You also are one gutsy gal. Wait until your hair comes in so nice and curly, then take a picture and send it to the louse.
Love to all,
Marylou
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