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Social Security-- Please help

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I just want to get on here and discuss how screwed up social security is. I don't understand why the wife doesn't get any benefits at least 6 months to a year after the husband dies. I was the one here with Jason and had to find a way to pay for his funeral. And all that I can get is a bill. I'm left to take care of any mess we have and the social security can't help at all. Jason worked hard to have a lot built up in social security and he only received his disability check for one month. We didn't have any kids together, but he did have 3 of his own. I'm glad that they are recieving their money, but here i am losing everything. Its so stressful. We had a direct express card through social security so instead of recieving a check each month, our money was put on the card. Well, when he passed away, the card was cancelled And what money was left on it. social security is blaming direct express and direct express is blaming social security. Now I'm screwed out of what money was left on the card. Does this life get any better.

I just don't understand how the government works things. They are so screwed up. If anyone knows anything about the wife recieving benefits without having to be disabled or over 62 please let me know !

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18 replies

Sheena,
Goodness how awful I'm so sorry you're dealing with this at this time.

I don't really know anything about social security but I do know if there are any medical bills coming in, do not pay them. Contact the business advise them of Jason's passing normally they waive the bills.

I know that doesn't help with everyday living expenses I hope someone else on here can give you some suggestions on what can be done.

Becky

What is SS telling you, are you going to get any benefits? I'm not sure if you do or not if your not yet 62. There should be a death benefit of @ $255 was the last amount I've seen. This usually goes toward funeral expense. Did you check with the funeral home to see if they received it? His children will definitely be covered until they are at least 18 and maybe beyond if they go to college. How long were you married? The answers need to come from SS. Did you get online and check out their site. That's what I would do. Good luck to you and take care, JC

If poss. go to the SS office. You'll get better results. If you're not working or unable to, check with govt about SSI. Also, go to Dept. of Human Services and see what you may qualify for. Good luck..

It is my experience that Social Security no longer pays dependents over 18 during college. A child over 18 is paid until high school graduation.

Regarding what you are entitled to--I agree with cards7up that the answers will come from the Social Security Administration. I believe that doing this on line is the most practical. Also, you could talk with a social worker at your local county office to assist you with advocacy with the Federal Government.

A grieving widow needs someone to assist her and it sounds like you need an advocate.

Best wishes to you,

Susan

You should get reduced benefits at 60 not 62. I'm facing the same thing but I had no idea it takes 6 months to get benefits started. Are you sure of that? If you are in a hardship situation go down to the local office and plead your case. They are much more responsive in person than over the phone. We had to deal with them recently when they thought they'd overpaid us.

Here's the information you need.

http://www.ssa.gov/pubs/10084.html

When my husband died I made an appt at the social security office. They put in for the $255 death benefit which I received a few weeks later. My 21 year old disabled son who was receiving SSI at the time was switched over to Disabled Suvivor and received an increase in the amt of $$$ he received every month. I am 50 years old and not entitled to anything at this time. I must have told the guy that I work and he said that I could collect under my husband's contributions to SS when I retire(he made much more than I will ever make). I think that your info may be correct about not collecting till you are of retirement age. I would make an appt to see someone at the Social Security office-they can answer everything. Surviving children can collect up to age 18-my 19 year old college son gets nothing-totally dependent on me for expenses. I also wouldn't pay any medical bills-they can wait for the $$$. Don't pay any charge card bills that were in your husband's name either-you are not responsible for them-only stuff that has your name on them too.Good luck
Pat

Dear Sheena,

I am so sorry for all you are going through, not even having a moment to grieve your husband fully without being thrown into a financial nightmare. Let me first start by saying I am so very sorry for your loss, which is too great for words. I know your heart is broken.

But you can't even address your loss as you are suddenly immersed in the business of dying - first caring for your husband, then dealing with the funeral planning and costs, and now finding you are totally on your own - poof, no support from the very system that is supposed to provide "social security." It's unreal, and inhumane.

My husband's diagnosis is much like yours was, and though he is fighting, he has begun not feeling well. I have been trying to face all possibilities, and "be prepared." So I needed to get an idea of costs, and sent for a brochure from a cemetery that had mailed an offer for information on planning for burials.

Weeks passed and then two night's ago I had a surprise visit from some man saying he was here to deliver the information packet in person, and then asked for a check to reserve a plot so we wouldn't have to worry about getting a spot when we need it. I could see the vultures circling overhead.

Here I was expecting a brochure, so I was totally unprepared, and almost became hysterical when he pulled out a contract. It would really have been a awful scene if my husband had come home early to find some guy in the living room selling burial plots - for him. I don't want any more surprises, but they keep coming.

It is all so insane and parasitic, but there is no guide outlining what we are supposed to do at a time like this. My parents and brother were all military, so I have no experience with the system of civilian death. How weird to be writing all this...forgive me.

Now after reading your post on SS benefits for the widow, and your being cut off, I am stunned. Where is the compassion in this country? And why is this all so hard? Shouldn't this be simple, like, "let us help you at your time of need. Just do this..."

I went to the link Suzanne gave and I think if you are not working you may be covered (?) but even after reading it twice, I am not sure. So making an appointment with SS or the social worker at your hospital seems like the best way to start.

I wish there was some way to help you as this is all so overwhelming, and you are so young. I am still reeling from the costs I am getting for funeral and burial info - I wanted to be "prepared" for the worst. I thought being diagnosed with lung cancer was the absolute worst that could happen. That was just the tip of the iceberg I guess. It's all the worst, it just comes on different days.

Do you have family or friends who can help you in some way? If not, can you check with your church or even charities dealing with lung cancer who might be able to offer assistance. Please let me know what is happening. Nor sure what I can do but I will try.

Again, my most sincere condolences for all your are going through. God bless you always, but especially now...

Peggy

When my Dad died, his widow rec'd benefits at age 60. There was no delay or red tape or problems. She collected those reduced benefits until she was old enough to get her own full benefits which were far more than the reduced benefits for a survivor.

I strongly urge you to go into the social security office with your marriage certificate, his death certificate and find someone who will help you.

If you are entitled to benefits, you will get them.

Pat,
100% of your own, smaller social security is probably more than the reduced survivor's benefit from your husband's social security.
Also, a widow can get this money at age 60.

As if we all dont have enough to deal with, right? But your correct in that you have to be disabled or age 62. At least that is what I was told by SS administration. Actually, they told me, that even a disabled spouse may have to wait till age 62. Go to Your LOCAL office, whoever said it makes a difference in person is correct! If your closest office is in a large city that is overwhelmed with the economy right now, go to a close "small town" office. They tend to be more helpful as they are not so overwhelmed with applicants.

Holly

I was told that you yourself have to be disabled also to get any benefit or, you must be 62. so if you are working. at all or have any money coming in at all you would not be entitled, It still would be worth the time to go there and see a social worker about it, there may be some hidden widow pension we are not aware of, there are many govenrnment benefits that we never apply for because we simply do not know about them.
This is such a bad thing to have to endure when you are grieving the death of Jason. i am so sorry Sheena that you have to deal with this.
If worse comes to worse maybe go tot he social services office and also ask them if there are any plans for you to get involved in.
when my husband died they did the same thing cut his check right out immediately from his account, I couldn't use it for a thing, the vultures all flew in trying to collect on what he didn't have, and tried to sue me for everything he owed out in his name only. I did receive the huge portion for burial expenses $255.00!!! I had a beautiful cremation since it was all I could afford to do for him.
Good luck shena I hope there are family i the picture to assist yo9u as you are gonna ned some emotional support besides financial advice.
God bless Sandy

They tell you that it takes up to 6 months but for us, my husbands disability checks started a mear 2 months after we filed. We were shocked and so happy. We were also "backpayed" any money dating to the date he actually had to stop working which was a year almost. Then after he got his first check, my son and i were able to file for our checks which started a month after that. When he passed away, I called the office and they switched us over to Survivors benefits which were jsut about the same as disability benefits. I nearly choked when they told me about the $255 death payment. Are they kidding? But th eman on the phone laughed as well so apparently everyone gets a kick out of that one. It really is a joke but I guess its better than nothing! Anyway, I just recently went thru all this so I know how you feel. Most importantly, you must make sure you get the correct info so your best bet is to go down to an office for help...I hope it all works out for you! good luck!

Sorry you are having so much trouble right now. The last thing you need is more stress. When Darrell passed, I went to our local SS office and got signed up for widows benefits. Your case is a little different than mine as our children are grown and my husband was old enough to get SS even though he didn't apply. I got really good service and my benefit started almost immediately. Of course, I am 60 years old which may make a difference. Either way, you need to make an appointment to have a face to face meeting with SS. Good luck. Linda

Another thought.You may be able to be reimbursed by social security,if you quit your job and physically cared for him.If you have to go back to work check with the unemployment office.You may can get some grants and check at the colleges.But set your priorities.1st,federal,then state then start into job opportunities.Prayers AndiB PS check at where he worked past & presentt.There maybe a forgotten savings or insurance.

Jguzman,
Social Security death benefit is a single payment of only a few hundred dollars. There is no on-going benefit. SS payments are made a month in advance, so you are obligated to repay them for the month in which your husband died. Once you turn 62, you may start drawing SS (reduced rate for early age); if you were married for more than 20 yrs., your amount can be based on his earnings if they were higher than yours.
Minor children (under 18) will get a monthly benefit until their 18th benefit, which would be issued to the custodial parent, with their name also on the check.

Ooops...meant their 18th birthday!

Sheena,
Life is sometimes very unkind and it makes us wonder
why us??? Social Security like most government offices cares little about our problems, trials & tribulations but as in everything in life if you scream loud enough someone will hear you and listen. We have senators that want to hear from the public. Contact them and let them know what your particular case is and the problems it is causing for you. Get others to support your cause. That is for starters, and remember you have
many people around you who still love and care about you. Do not be bitter because Jay left you with bills. Jay loved you very very much and did all he could do to make you happy and try to give you the lifestyle that he felt you desired. Be happy for the time you spent together and all that you have learned
and experienced from that time.
The good as well as the bad. God never promised us a rose garden but he did promise not to leave us
nor forsake us. Believe in his promise.
Pray and God will supply your needs.
He hears us when we pray sincere. He will hear you also. God Bless and You will always be in my prayers.
lbolden

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