I know I haven't posted much, but I have read many many stories. Many of them I found to be encouraging. My dad was dx with stage IV adenocarcinoma of the lung with mets in June of 2006. He was feeling much better lately. He has beat the "medical odds" so often. We even had good news about him being a candidate for cyberknife. Three days after we went to the cyberknife consult he was hospitalized into the ICU. He was in septic shock due to pneumonia. Needless to say, he did not pull out of it. He passed away on Aug 20. It was just 3 days after he was admitted.
It has been harder than I expected to deal with his passing. I think it may be because there are questions I have that the drs can't answer. I don't know if it's because there's really no right answer or if it's to try and spare my feelings.
I have tried & tried to find an answer to how long he could have had sepsis? Are there any signs I could have missed? He was treated for pneumonia in mid-July...could it have been still lingering? With a lung CA patient, is it common protocol to not follow up with a chest xray after treatment? I don't know. If anyone could help shed some light on this it will be greatly appreciated. When I tried to ask the dr, I just kept getting the same answer...I am sorry, Tracey, we did all we could do for you dad. I understand and believe that. I am not looking to try to find an error on their part. I have others saying...atleast he's not suffering...I understand that too & I never ever wanted him to. It's just so hard to absorb, knowing he was feeling so good just days prior. Thank God, he was never bed ridden and walked unassisted, even out to the ambulance Monday morning(3 days before passing). I think I just need some answers to help me begin to heal from such a great loss. I don't know how to begin healing. I never knew it was possible to hurt so bad.
I have found this site to be so helpful and very informative. I hope I am not out of line by asking these questions, but I just don't know where else to turn. Thanks a bunch!
Tracey
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My dad passed away from sepsis...why?
- By ttbmaat
- Posted September 15, 2009 at 6:14 pm · 16 replies
- In Family members and caregivers
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Explore topics in this discussion:
Pneumonia Cancer MRSA Chemotherapy Surgery Pain Tarceva Stroke Fever
16 replies
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- By sheilake
- Posted September 15, 2009 at 7:13 pm
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I am so sorry, Tracey, to hear about your Dad's death. He put up such a vallient fight from his diagnosis in 2006.
As the following passage indicates, sepsis isn't unheard of in pneumonia, especially with a MRSA infection. Given your Dad's worn out body, it sounds like the pneumonia was just too hard to ward off.
"Sepsis and septic shock are potential complications of pneumonia. Sepsis occurs when microorganisms enter the bloodstream and the immune system responds by secreting cytokines. Sepsis most often occurs with bacterial pneumonia; Streptococcus pneumoniae is the most common cause. Individuals with sepsis or septic shock need hospitalization in an intensive care unit. They often require intravenous fluids and medications to help keep their blood pressure from dropping too low. Sepsis can cause liver, kidney, and heart damage, among other problems, and it often causes death."
The real question behind "Why" is probably because you love him so much and it just doesn't seem fair.
My heart goes out to you in this time of grief. You did everything humanly possible. He was lucky to have you in his life.
Sheila
- By AngelBoBaby
- Posted September 15, 2009 at 8:10 pm
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Tracey, I am so sorry about your dad's passing. I have been where you are right now, my dad passed at the age of 62 9/25/07. He had colon cancer with mets to liver which started as 11 spots on the liver which the chemo got rid of all but 1 tumor and that was inactive. He went into the hospital Sept. 4, 07 for a colostomy (the tumor in his colon was very low and needed to be removed). He did great thru the surgery, recovered in the next few days, but then got a fever... long story short... he wound up with a blood infection and never recovered. We were told by his surgeon that the tumor in his liver was so large that it blocked off the blood supply and it was "not fixable"... His death certificate didn't say a word about cancer... his death was caused by apoxia (no blood oxygen) and renal failure (kidney's shut down)... that had NOTHING to do with his liver. Why we were never told about his real cause of death we will never know. We feel like we were lied to. But at the end of the day it really doesn't matter to us because it isn't going to change anything. Just know that you will get thru this, the pain will ease, the smiles will replace the tears, you will be able to think of your dad and remember all the good times with a smile on your face. I read once "there is no greater gift then to be the daughter of a loving father"... we are very lucky to be able to say we had such wonderful fathers. My dad and I were so, so close, I never thought I would survive, but I did. He will always be with me, only in my heart and memories, but that's what keeps me going. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Dina
- By angel3023
- Posted September 15, 2009 at 8:13 pm
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Prayers for you and your family. God bless.
- By peyz33
- Posted September 15, 2009 at 8:27 pm
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Tracey - it's not fair - and you may never get any answers - but you loved him - and he knew that - he didn't suffer and well- you've heard all the rest - it's not fair - and it stinks - just get angry - do a primal scream - vent here to all of us - only time will heal this hurt - and never quite completely - losing a parent is a unique pain that never really goes away completely - but eventually the happy memories take over - and one day you will be telling someone a story about your dad and you will be giggling.....and so will he!
Karen
- By cuddles53
- Posted September 15, 2009 at 11:25 pm
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Dear Tracey,
I think all of these questions is due to the fact that it was a shock to you that he died so fast, and so quick. I know he had a terrible disease, and of course we never know how long we will make it, but when you see him day to day and he is doing fine, or on the outside looks to be doing fine, we wonder how could this have happened. the fact is honey, you were not ready for dad to go anyplace yet. he was ready, but you were left lingering behind wanting daddy to live on forever. Sheila explained it all so expertly about how the body reacts when it gets sepsis from a bacterial pneumonia. These things happen when the body can'tr fight and win any longer, it is a quick thing, it can happen in an instant and they are here one moment and gone the next. I lost my husband just over 3 years ago, and again not from the cancer he had, but from a complication like this one your dad had. It is a blessing, please believe that, a true blessing. I am happy to hear he died, and he was not in severe pain and agony. Some of us who do stay on until the very end have so much pain we need to be medicated so much we are like zombies, this is no way to see your dad either. I know how sad you feel right now, and it is going to last a long time, but it will ease up, and the pain will be a little easier to deal with. Right now you need to vent to people as much as you can, and relive all the days you did have with your dad. Go and touch his things, smell his clothes, listen to his m usic, keep him alive with you at this time, you are so not ready to let go, when you are things will change and you willl see each day a little more relief from so much pain. I would suggest to pray to God to hold you in his arms and help you to heal. It is the worse sadness a person can feel in a lifetime. I remember it with my husband. I think we need ot go through this to begin life without them. go ahead, find some of his things he cherished or he used every day, and feel them, smell them and keep them close to you. Maybe if you get lucky your dad will come to you in a dream, my husband did for me, and this was when I truly felt better, I knew then that he came to let me know it was okay for me to stop the grieving so much for him, he came to let me know he still hung around me. Your dad is around you right now too, if you listen real close you may hear him. You are in my prayers.
god bless you Sandy.
- By beckylynn
- Posted September 16, 2009 at 1:21 am
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Tracey,
What a shock. It is very upsetting when you realize it's not the cancer that can kill someone but the infections that their bodies become so vunerable to developing with a compromised immune system.
I can only say your dad lives inside you and will always be with you in your heart and spirit. I know my mom watches over me and my family. Your dad will be watching over you and your family now as well.
Sending you hugs and prayers for strength as you deal with the loss of your dad.
Becky
- By ttbmaat
- Posted September 16, 2009 at 8:25 am
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Thank you all. It really is comforting to know that I am not the only one that has dealt (or dealing) with this. I appreciate the prayers, more than you all know. I know the grief process cannot be rushed, but honestly, it does feel better to know that I am not alone.
- By marilou122
- Posted September 16, 2009 at 9:38 am
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Tracey, I am still questioning everything in my mind and its been over 3 years since my healthy Mom fell and seemed fine within an hour after only to die from a blod clot in the hospital within a couple hours after being admitted??? I do not want to digest what they told me.....and I feel a void......I wake up wondering if she would be with me today if I had been by her side and not left as she and staff wanted me to, for to wash her clothes so that she could go home later that day. I still wonder if they left her alone and forgot to check on her....maybe she dozed and woke up in that room and freaked out which caused a stroke? Doctors explain it was inevitable....do they just say that or was it really the truth? I go on with life, recall the great moments with Mom, and go on with those good thoughts. she would never want me to be distraught over how she died....it was just so sudden, it is hard to adapt to "sudden" and unexpected experiences.
- By Mamadx2
- Posted September 16, 2009 at 9:48 am
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My extremely healthy brother in law went to doc and told him he did not feel well. Doc found no problems and 2 days later he was admitted to hospital and few hours later he passed away from sepsis. We could not understand how this could happen so fast.
- By barbaray
- Posted September 16, 2009 at 10:00 am
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Tracey,
Warmest sympathy to you on the loss of your father.
I Googled SEPSIS and found considerable information (even from Wikipedia) which would seem to cast light on your questions.
I also Googled PNEUMONIA AND SEPSIS but had less luck with it than just plain SEPSIS.
Maybe you have already researched your questions some--if not, you might want to
do so via Google. There is a world of information out there, and something tells me you will be greatly comforted by it. I hope so.
Barbara
- By Pametha
- Posted September 16, 2009 at 12:52 pm
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Tracey,
I'm sorry for your fathers passing. I have heard that sometimes that a person gets a "Last Horrah" please excuse the spelling. But what it is, you may have heard is that for some reason I believe it's God, That God gives you a gift of "Feeling Good," kinda like a false everythings alot better feeling, just before your time to pass. Maybe thats what happened. God gave ya'll a gift.
Anyway, Thats my thought.
Prayers,
Pam
- By pilot27k
- Posted September 17, 2009 at 6:58 pm
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Hi Tracey,
I'm so sorry to hear about your father. It hits close to home as my dad is stage 4 NSCLC. While on chemo my dad develop septic pneumonia. Because the treatment caused complications (pneumonia and him needing 3 units of blood) the doctor decided to take him off chemo and put him on Tarceva. I guess he just got lucky. Or maybe everyone has their time on this earth and it wasn't his.
Again, I feel your sorrow as we can never truly keep the ones we love in life safe.
- By Elizabeth-32
- Posted October 14, 2009 at 12:16 am
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Tracey,
I too have just recently lost my mother to the same condition as your father just a few weeks back (9/18/2009.) I have never in my life ever heard of Sepsis, and for the life of me didn't at all think when she was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with Pneumonia that she would pass away not even 24 hours later from the time she was admitted. She was just up and around the previous night cooking dinner. My mother was 59 years old and has been treated with chemotherapy for a spot found on her Pancreas back in 2000 and although she was not undergoing chemo anymore, she was still required to make routine visits to the cancer treatment center to make sure everything was okay. Her last visit was the week prior to her death (why didn't they see anything, then???). My dad did not accompany my mother to the appointment, but my father says that my mom said that she had a clean bill of health. I am like you....how long can a person have this??? What kind of signs could we have seen or possibly missed because I have been researching and reading all that I can about this Sepsis and from what I have researched...and I am falling short as well. Reading your situation really hits home for me because I know now that we are not the only ones to be devasted by this. When we were at the hospital....I thought that the Dr. was lying to us or that he didn't know what he was doing. I thought that he had just made up this thing called Sepsis....and I couldn't understand what it had to do with Pneumonia. They had us in the chapel of the Hospital telling us they she was not going to make it....we have done all we can do...all he kept saying....and they had us go in to say goodbye to her. We watched her blood pressure and her heart rate continue to decline...we prayed and we prayed....and just like that she was gone.
You are not alone coping with this....and now I know that my family that is not either.
- By ttbmaat
- Posted October 14, 2009 at 8:27 am
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I still feel your pain. It has been just under 2 months and it feels like yesterday. I know people say it takes time to heal, but as of now it still leaves me devistated. Today is better than a month ago, but it is hard. It scares me that we haven't had all "the firsts" without him here. It has been suggested that I go to a support group, but I haven't yet. I do find it helps to tell my story over and over again. I have a hat and tshirt of daddy's that I keep in my room. It is comforting to pull it out and touch it, smell it, and cry on it. I know he cannot be brought back but I know we will meet again one day. My prayers are with you. Hang in there!
- By Elizabeth-32
- Posted October 14, 2009 at 11:34 pm
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Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. I know that over time it will get better, but you are right....it is hard!!!
Last night was especially for me, and it all came kind of suddenly. One moment I was fine and the next I was a complete mess. I haven't considered a support group, but do feel that the more I talk about it and cry about it.....the better I feel.
I love that fact that you have those personal items of your dad. I created a photo slide show my mom that we played during her funeral service. I have to watch it everynight before I go to bed. I look at how beautiful she was....I think about things... like how I never really noticed how much I look like her....and I think about how proud I am to be her daughter, and I cry. Sometimes I feel like she's right there with me. You hang in there too, and remember that his legacy lives on through you. Take care!
- By Beenthere
- Posted October 14, 2009 at 11:47 pm
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Hi Dina:
Usually a death certificate can have up to 3 leading causes of death with what they call primary as #1, secondary #2, etc. My father had pancreatitic disease. Pancreatitis to be exact. Something you usually do not recover from. He was operated on and ended up in septic shock. His death certificate said Sepsis due to organ failure due to pancreatitis.
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