Mom did not lose her battle, Cancer did

Debi1
1 Recommendation

My "Ma" went to Heaven on October 9th after a two and a half contest with NSCLC.
She had many chemo treatments of different kinds, many radiation treatments.
BUT... the day before she left, she winked to us signaling a "yes", we asked her, "are you ok, are you pain free, do you feel God present, and do you see things we do not see in this room" to those questions she blinked yes. Other questions she did not blink to, the ones we were testing her with!
I miss her terribly, I ache to touch and kiss her and hear her voice.
She got the ultimate victory over cancer, it died, she didnt, she is waiting for me and is more alive than any of us are.
Now, I think I will go cry again...
I love you "Ma", miss you so much, and am so very proud of you.
Debi

20 replies

Scaredwife

Debi...........darling that is one of the most moving post I have read yet. There could not be a better way to put what you said.
The Cancer died!!!! Praise God!!! Mama is alive and in Heaven waiting for her daughter !!!!!
That is what I like to hear........keep going on honey. I am waiting to be with my ma one day in Heaven too !!!
That is just awesome.......THE CANCER DIED !!!!
That just puts tears in my eyes. In Heaven there is no cancer, death, tears, pain, lonliness......nothing bad. Praise God again......
My prayers are with you
Faye

Marylou1

Hi Debi:

I am so sorry you and your mom had to go through this.

***Big Hugs******
Marylou

CountryBumpkin

Debi...that is beautiful! You put the right words to what I've been feeling since June 21st when my husband died with a heart attack! I bet your Mom and my husband are Up There right now talking & laughing about the battle THEY won!

pattyp1

oh, Debi,
you are so right - the angels have a new friend that is healthy, happy, and whole - and singing about her daughter

please accept condolences and tons of hugs
Pat

Marie400

May your Mom rest in peace -

bayrealtor

We will all be together in a new world! God be with you and know your Mom is in a much better place my friend. "Go out there and live each day to the fullest, the way I'm sure your Mom would want for you!" Each time you feel like a cry.....do it and then look up to Mom and give her a wink and let her know you are doing ok.

God Bless,

Bill & Cathy

jgaynor711

Deb, That was so beautifully put, and so reminds me of my mom and her battle with the cancer that lost the fight. I'm so sorry you've lost your Mom. It sounds like she was one in a million. I have a feeling, from what you wrote, that she and my mom are in Heaven, smiling down at us together...
Love,
Julia

horningfamily

Dear Debi,

I'm sorry for your loss. My mom died July 31 and I miss her a lot too. I benefit a lot from my Griefshare group but it is still very hard.
Take care of yourself.

Anita

andmegab

debi,

im so sorry for your pain, and missing your ma...but i pray my children think of me this way when its my turn.

god bless you and your family for understanding so thoroughly.

deb

Bette_Tx

Dear Debi,

I'm so sorry for your loss. My mother passed away in January of this year - not from cancer, but her death even at the age of 90 was very hard on me. We are never ready to give up our 'MA'.

God bless,

Beette

planejocke

My Dad asked me a week before he died if I thought in Heaven you see people like they are here. I said I did not know. He said in reading the bible that he thought you do. Then he said " I;ll tell ya one thing Larry, if when we go to heaven and we all keep our bodies, that Heaven must be a damn big place!"

I have come to view my Dads death, Moms, my grandparents uncles aunts etc as kind of the 1800s in Europe. Many people packed a simple bag and made it to the ships coming to America. It was a strange new world they only heard about. They came with just faith and belief. They came and made a better place for others in their families to come to later.
I kind of feel that way about my family and friends. Dad, Mom and the others have gone there to make a place for me. Plus with my own battle with Lung Cancer, someday I will pack my little bag and go to the new world where when I get off the ship, there will be all my friends and family waiting to show me this great new world and to introduce me again to God. Cancer will not win but I will use it as my ship to the new world. Larry

USMCCAT

Debi..I said the same thing after Dad died...I refuse to let cancer have the last word! You are in my prayers...

jennymac

How beautiful. Thank you for sharing, Debi. I do believe they "linger between two worlds" right before they leave us. The last week of his life, my father spoke very often of his own mom and dad and my other grandparents - all in Heaven. It was as if he could feel their presence and was acknowledging them by telling stories about them.

I often associate birds as a sign from my dad. Just too many coinscidences at times when I needed a good laugh and reminder of my dad. A few weeks after he died, we were in Chili's (one of his favorite hangouts) for the first time since his death. Suddenly, my nephew (just two-and-a-half at the time) pointed at the ceiling and said, "Papa is flying in the sky like a birdie, and he is not even sick anymore." It was as if he could actually SEE him and was relaying dad's message that he was OK and still with us.

A few weeks ago, my nephew - now four - said out of the blue, "Papa will always be in our hearts."

Yes, we'll be with them again someday. I'm sure of it.

You're in my thoughts.

jen

kaencarsmom

That is so right! My friends daughter (her four year old) died of lukemia. And she told me,,,,,,, cancer had NOT won. Her daughter won that battle. She and you are so correct. Huge hugs to you.

peyz33

Deb - that is a really beautiful post - I hope we all feel that way when our time comes. God Bless you!
Karen

tcevs

I am sooo sorry for your loss, but you have said it beautifully, the cancer did not win and she is now in a much much better place than we are and you will be with her again. She will remain in your heart forever. I wish you and your family comfort and peace.
Tara

PeaNute8

Sorry for your lost and I was touched by your statement. I thought of that when my best friend won (killed her "C") her fight almost 6 years ago from Osteosarcoma of the left knee. It was something to see those words written on this site. Brought back memories of that time and my friend Amy. Thanks for sharing.

Thinking of you and your family, Tina:)

Debi1

Thank you everyone for your replies. I feel very cared for by you.
I listened to my answering machine, it replayed a message I had saved in July, it was Moms voice and message. I had three saved on there, one said "Debi I love you."
I tried to turn it into a good thing, having her voice to hear, but it just made me worse today. Maybe its too soon?
I remember standing by Moms side after she left us, and told my brother, listen.... do you hear the cancer dieing? What sweet revenge on the disease I felt.
I feel if Mom looked back, saw her body as she left it, she would have said "Holy Crap" glad Im done with THAT body.
Ahh, my Ma, I try and remember you are still with me. Its hard because I want you back to hold so much.
Your "Sam"
AKA: Debi

Mon

Hi Debi, so sorry about your ma ... your post was so beautiful, it made me get teary at work (i should save this site for when I'm safely at home!)... i think it is a wonderful way of putting it ... i know your ma is waiting for you and smiling down every day - pain free.
I sympathise with listening to a message.. My dad died a couple of years ago, and we kept his cellphone.. .every now and then i would call to listen to the voicemail, and i still have the can of deoderant he was wearing when he left us ... man can a smell bring someone back to you! Maybe its too soon, but I think its so wonderful you have something to listen to when you really need her voice.. its a shame it just leaves your heart aching for the real thing!
Thanks for sharing your beautiful words..
xo

Etashope

I had 7 wonerful months with my mom after we found out she had lung cancer. She worked hard, real hard but in the end she had less than 2 bad days and died at home which she wanted. She went on her own terms and she did beat the cancer. Gods speed to all who are so brave.

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