Just checking in - Discussion - Lung Cancer Alliance Survivors Support Community

Just checking in

By kallygirlie
Posted September 2, 2008 at 7:12 am · 7 replies
In Family members and caregivers

Hey all. In the past 6 months I found many friends and a lot of support on this site. With that being said I feel the need to update all my friends on here. I know I haven't posted since Moms passing but I haven't been a stranger to the site. I've still been checking on everyone. As for me, well I cant lie and say everything is good or even getting easier. Moms viewing and funeral were absolutely beautiful. My family pretty much put all they arrangements in my hands cause I'm the one that knew her best. My dad made one request for her to wear her wig which I quickly shot down because she hated the wig and wanted it donated after she no longer needed it. So I put her in one of her favorite hats. The nurse that gave her that hat came to the viewing and I honestly have never seen a nurse hurt for a patient like that. She broke down in my arms when she saw the had. Truth is, the day mom passed I had 5 nurses that were on duty come in the room crying with me. Mom truly touched everyone she met. 19days after I turned 25. My family pretty much forced me to acknowledge my birthday. I had no reason to celebrate because mom was the one that always made it special. Just seeing a birthday card with my dads name and not my moms broke me down. Everyone always says that things will get better with time. In the past month I can say things have only gotten worse. Life is growing harder with out her. This pass week I have ran away to my boyfriends place because he's the only one that can help me smile. I miss my mom more than anything and anyone on this earth. I pray for each of you every night. Dont let this monster take anymore lives. I honestly believe my mom lost her battle because she lost her hope. She kept her faith in god but let the fear take over her body. Everyone please know there is a fight. In the first 4 months I saw the strength she had in her eyes. Keep that strength. I am still here for anyone that needs to talk. I'm on this earth to fight for a cure. I love you all

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By pattyp1
Posted September 2, 2008 at 8:15 am
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oh, Krystal,
we're here for you also
I also am waiting for it to get easier
we may not have had anything in our lungs, but we're survivors also
hugs to you
Pat

By lorbethm
Posted September 2, 2008 at 9:04 am
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I'm so sorry, sweetie. My heart is breaking for you as I read this, and my eyes are filled with tears. Know that so many of us are praying for you and are here for you as you adjust to your new "normal" life. Try to remember the good times you had with your mom.

I'm so so sorry. Cancer sucks and I hate that it took your best friend from you.

Love and prayers.

Lorie

By 2mmama
Posted September 2, 2008 at 9:09 am
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I feel the same way......

By peyz33
Posted September 2, 2008 at 9:24 am
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you are an amazing young lady! I am positive your Mom is smiling down on you and will give you signs that she is fine andthat you will be too - Your compassion is an inspiration to all of us - and I thank you for encouraging us all to keep HOPE and FAITH alive - and what the heck - Happy Birthday !!!!
love karen

By davecerami275
Posted September 2, 2008 at 9:26 am
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Krystal,,

You are a courageous and admirable young lady. I know your mother is proud of you.

seMPer fidelis

Dave

By Monica65
Posted September 2, 2008 at 9:54 am
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I know how you feel. My mom passes 6 months ago and i still can't get passed it. I still cry just about everday. She passed 3 days before my birthday. I didn't celebrate my birthday either. My moms birthday came and went in April.

This month on th 12th is when it all began. From a fender bender and from there they found the cancer in Jan.

I'm still struggling. It's hard
Monica

By nscarfan88
Posted September 2, 2008 at 11:42 am
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I feel sooo much for you. I am going through the beginning right now with my mom. I'm sure you were there everyday as I am with my mom too. I can tell you love your mother with the same intense emotions as I do mine. It is hard and I have to be strong every time i go into her room, wanting to just break down and cry.
But instead I make her smile as much as I possibly can and reassure her I am here and she will never be alone.

I recently lost the next closest person in my life, my sister, and the hardest part was asking myself all the time "did I spend enough time with her?" But I think back every time and know she loved me no matter what "unconditionally".
From what you say she loves you the same and wouldn't want to see you hurting. If your boyfriend makes you feel better, than be with him as much as you can. Your mother would want to see you happy and smiling rather then sad.

My hopes and prayers are for you to be happy again and remember all the good times.

Your friend,, TIM

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