My mother in law was diagnosed January 2009 with stage IV NSCLC. She chose a clinical trial that consisted of the trial drug, carboplatin and taxol. After 3 treatments, she was too weak to go on, so we layed off the 4th treatment. Then, she got pneumonia and couldn't take any more treatments. She did get strong enough to visit her other son in another state and had a great time. When she got back, the oncologist suggested she try Tarceva - to which she took for a week and couldn't tolerate. Again she ended up with the start of pneumonia yet again. As she started to feel better, the oncologist wanted her to try Alimta. After reading the side effects, she declined. She wanted to visit her other son's family again and wanted to feel good enough to do so. At that point the oncologist said to me, "we can only hope you will feel well enough". She was supposed to leave two days ago but has now developed a chronic cough and was/is too weak to go. She rarely gets dressed and everytime I am there, she is sitting (all covered up) in her recliner. I feel she is weak just from sitting around so much. I don't want to push her, but at the same time it is so difficult to see this once vibrant and spunky woman dwindle down. Is the cough from her cancer ? No one seems to be saying anything. Is this the beginning of the end? What should my husband and I expect in the future? If anyone has any suggestions or insite into this situation, it would be greatly appreciated.
Melody G
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Is this the beginning of the end?
- By MelodyG
- Posted October 3, 2009 at 10:12 am · 9 replies
- In Family members and caregivers
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- By cuddles53
- Posted October 3, 2009 at 11:32 am
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Dear Melody,
She seems so much like me. I do not have the cough, but have had it, it will come and it will go, It does not mean she is dying right now. this not getting dressed and staying in the chair could be because she is depressed, as some tell me this is what it is with me, All I know is I have no motivation to get up, and do a thing, except ...., eat. This is it,. I have my appetite back now, so I am the opposite, not thin anymore, and wasting away, but blowing up, like a balloon. My feet and ankles, and leg on right side is all swollen. I sit all morning half asleep, but do not sleep at night. This is another thing, maybe she sleeps in the day time, and is tired because she can not get to sleep all night either.
Think about it,what is there to do? I don't work anymore, this was a big part of life. I also can't find much to do at home anymore, I hate housework, and my breathing is like I am gasping for air when I walk more than a few feet, so this is why I am usually on the couch and not dressed. The only reason I do get up and move about, and do get washed, and dressed is because I live with my partner. Him and I do go our own separatwe ways, but he comes in the house around noon for lunch every day, so I don't want him to see me like this, so I make an attempt to get up, and look busy. Maybe this is her problem too. Give her my e-mail maybe we can talk. I will talk with her and see if I can help. I can't seem to help myself with it any longer but sometimes I can have a good effect on someone else. I would love to see what is hurting her this way, it might save us both. jjmech46@rochester.rr.com
God bless Sandy
the odd thing about the way I am is a good can report was just given to me about 2 weeks ago, once again even after over 3 1/2years, again stable. How about your friend, Is she stable also?
god bless Sandy
- By chessie-too
- Posted October 3, 2009 at 11:42 am
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Hi Melody,
You said she was on tarceva for only a week? What dose? Also, what were her side effects?
Tarceva does take some getting used to but usually it can be well tolerated if the dose is started low and then work up to the higher dose. It sounds like they started her out on 150 mg which is the highest given. That may be where the problem is. Maybe she could do well with it if she started out on 50 mg instead.
I had to have my dose lowered in the beginning also.
I've now been on it more than 2.5 years. It is truly a great drug once you can tolerate it. I was diagnosed with stage 4
nsclc, both lungs and am now doing just fine. Still some issues but nothing major.
Good luck and God Bless
- By glendakay
- Posted October 3, 2009 at 12:45 pm
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Melody, Bless you and your husband's heart and your mother inlaws too, of course! I had 3 cycles of carbo and gemzar, I was so weak, I couldn't walk 6 feet without having to sit down and rest. After each of the first 3 cycles I ended up in the hospital, the 3rd time needing 2 units of blood. The doctor told me she didn't think I should have anymore chemo; since each time I became so ill I was hospitalized. I think carbo is a chemo that just wipes your feet out from under us. I was afraid I was just being a 'woosie' and my chemo nurse said "No, those are two very tough drugs ... don't think like that!"
I am a retired RN who cared for oncology patients in their homes the last 12 years of my RN career! After having taken chemo I now realize why I saw those ... "blank looks on their sweet faces" ... that "downcast demeanor" ... their struggle just to eat!
My sclc (squamous cell) was stage IIB ... I have oxygen here at home to use as needed. I'm a fighter too ... but chemo just knocked me for a LOOP!
Is you mother in law alone? It was so difficult for me to take care of myself ... let alone fixing my meals...I prepared some in advance and froze them for when I had my bad days. It isn't easy for all of us to get through chemo. I'm sure any help for meals or house work or laundry would be greatly appreciated. Thinking of you all ... with prayers. Glenda
- By sheilake
- Posted October 3, 2009 at 1:27 pm
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Hi Melody,
Thanks for sharing your pain as you watch your Mother-in-law retreat from life. The things that might help - antidepressants, moving around, seeing her family are really up to her. She has to have the will to fight through this.
Having gone through this with my Mother, it is so hard to watch a dynamic, independent woman die bit by bit. It's also a tight rope in encouraging her to be healthier vs supporting her in whatever is going on. My heart really goes out to you and your husband.
Hugs,
Sheila
- By MelodyG
- Posted October 3, 2009 at 4:41 pm
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Thank you all for your replies. My mother in law is 77 years old. She just recently retired due to the cancer and not having enough energy to go to work. She is already on anti-depressants but I do think she gets depressed. I don't know how she couldn't be depressed. She does live alone, however she has a companion gentleman that stays there most of the time and has been a huge help to us. Sometimes though he leaves for a week - I think mostly to keep his own sanity. I do her laundry and provide her meals if he isn't there. She isn't eating much right now nor keeping fluids going into her body. I believe she would feel better if she would eat and drink better. As for the Tarceva, she was started on the 150mg dose - which I felt was too high. Once she had the basic systems, she didn't want it any more - even though I had explained they were normal symptoms. The strongest pain med she can tolerate is Darvocet. I pray that she doesn't experience any horrible pain with this. We see the oncologist again on Wednesday, so it will be interesting to see what he sees as the next step. Is it time to consult Hospice?
Melody G
- By Guillermo
- Posted October 3, 2009 at 7:30 pm
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I just finished 6 cycles of Alimta with minor side effects, better that my first Cisplatin + Vinorelbine and latter I had to stop Carboplatin with Abraxane. I also gainned 20 pounds in 4 years, Stage 3 now.
My concern for you Sandy is swollen feet and more in the right ankle. I had the same and in last CT scan I was diagnosed with thrombosis or blood cloth in one leg, for that I inject myself with Tinzaparin, a blood thinner every day. I get out of the house and try to add quality to life, going in 1 month cruise in November. I am 71.
- By texaszan
- Posted October 3, 2009 at 9:25 pm
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I encourage people to get hospice involved as early as possible. They're great with pain and I wish I'd called on them earlier for my husband. The nurses were angels of mercy and not only helped him, they helped me both physically and emotionally.
- By cuddles53
- Posted October 3, 2009 at 10:56 pm
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I already am on coumadin for blood clots, and the doctor has seen this leg and feet. I agree it loks as if it is a blood clot, The swelling goes down once in a while but for the most part now is alwasy there. I will have it checked again I think on monday.
Thanks
- By MelodyG
- Posted October 16, 2009 at 8:04 am
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As it turns out, it was the beginning of the end. My mother in law passed away at 5:30 AM on October 11th and we had her funeral yesterday. She had a CT Scan on October 7th and the results told the story. It amazes me how quickly the cancer can take over. She never had trouble breathing but had a dry and hacking cough. Hospice was called in on October 8th. She spent time with her kids, grandkids and great grand children on Wednesday & Thursday and then took a dramatic turn for the worse on Friday. Thank you to everyone on this site as I have read daily since joining. You are all knowledgeable, encouraging and a joy to interact with. I will keep you all in my prayers.
Melody G.
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