I am just so tired of the ignorance of people when it comes to lung cancer. I am absolutely at my wits end. To make a long story short, a message was written by a family member about hating cigarettes, then another family member commented on this and said "she hates cigarettes also, and blames lung cancer on smoking" (and this person is a reformed smoker of 30+ years) So of course I put this little fact up in response to these messages - which will now make them both get a little upset with me.... (got this from this site) "Lung cancer will remain the #1 cancer killer in 2009, claiming another 161,000 lives: three times as many men as prostate cancer, nearly twice as many women as breast cancer. More people will die from lung cancer this year than breast, prostate, colon, leukemia, ovarian and cervical cancers—combined.
This deadly disease has taken about 1.6 million Americans since 2000! Of this number, almost one million of these Americans NEVER SMOKED or QUIT SMOKING often decades ago. This simply cannot be viewed as a 'smoker's disease; that is not to say that smoker's 'deserve' lung cancer."
Agreed, I hate cigarettes also, but does anyone really LIKE them? I mean (and I am probably opening up a whole can of worms here) but smoking, not smoking, does it really matter - does anyone DESERVE cancer? WHAT THE HELL!?!? I am beside myself. I now feel like these family members are almost blaming my mother for getting lung cancer because she smoked. I am so mad, I am hurt and most of all I am now in defensive mode... and I shouldn't have to feel this way. I am just sick and tired of people's attitudes that lc is self inflicted!
Anyone have any constructive ways for me to deal with this? I mean, before I explode I'd rather do something positive with my anger :)
Thanks for letting me vent
Dina
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I just need to vent... I am so mad!
- By AngelBoBaby
- Posted November 5, 2009 at 4:25 pm · 29 replies
- In Non-small cell lung cancer - General
- Shared with the public
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29 replies
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- By Granny888
- Posted November 5, 2009 at 7:15 pm
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Yea.
Educate and spend your anger somewhere else. Vent here all you want of course -- that's part of what we're here for.
As many of the specialists say not all smokers get cancer, and not all cancer victims are because of smoke, but frankly smoking is responsible for MOST cases of lung and sometimes other cancer -- I think sometimes more because of the blood issues it brings up (have you seen the cord of a newborn of a smoker?), and I wonder about that tendency and others in families.
But, there's no way around this. Cancer has gone UP in countries where young people try to be "americanized" and over here where smoking is becoming uncool it is actually dropping.
I hate cigarettes too, and we can't blame all cancer on some sort of air pollution, but we can't ignore that factor at the same time that we get mad and insist the truth be known -- no, it doesn't matter HOW you get cancer (well, it might matter in what kind of lung cancer you get) but it would be foolish to not consider a major factor here, and no matter how often you look at it or get mad it IS a major factor in MOST cases. That isn't the same as saying it is the direct cause, but it is sometimes and we can't ignore that either. Trying to get money for research while at the same time ignoring part of what research has found is downright foolish.
I heard on a recent speech that smoking was responsible for 90% of lung cancer and in the same speech that 80% get the more popular cancer usually attributed to nonsmokers -- that doesn't add up and this from a reputable expert -- we definitely need more research to figure this one out. But smoking is still a factor and we can't ignore it while we look for the truth, we just have to keep looking.
Educate. Make sure people know that very often other things cause cancer, kids and nonsmokers get it, like in my case whole families smokers and nonsmokers alike seem to get it. We need money to help us find out why, to help with the genetic angle and so forth. It's vital. Get noisy and like other cancers where people got noisy the funds and fatality rates will go down. Let what they've done be an example, don't let the stigma get in the way.
Getting mad at breast or prostate or colon cancer doesn't get things done for lung cancer, and wanting to ignore the cigarette connection doesn't make it go away or make it any less important. It doesn't deserve the "stigma" but it really doesn't deserve to be put on a back burner like it doesn't count. It's part of what needs to be looked into, and wiping it off the board as no part of the solution like I said before, foolish. For many of us it's not...but part of dealing is truth is the truth of the fact that for many it is.
Like it or not, until we educate and pass the word in the mind of others that's all there is. They were brought up to believe lung cancer = smokers. We're responsible, as individuals, for education. We have to do it, without anger. No one listens to you when you're mad.
And in that regard we have much better things to do than spend that energy. Don't get mad, get even. Of course, sometimes we have so much anger over our conditions getting mad at something practical like this is just easier, isn't it? So vent away, just not when faced with the chance to educate.
- By Granny888
- Posted November 5, 2009 at 7:23 pm
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I'm not clear on your figures of your last paragraph, that doesn't add up. We've had a lot more than 1.6 million since 2000 and you can't attribute 2/3 of that to nonsmokers unless you are considering their status at death -- not when diagnosed. So I'm not sure of the current figures.
I would have gotten mad and responded to the email in a similar manner, but had I made time to think before response a simple statement regarding the number of lung cancers attributed to non-smoking and children who get it, radon and other causes, and the fact that not all smokers get cancer any more than all who get lung cancer have smoked -- would have been heard more loudly. Hindsight and all that, but I would have responded.
- By AngelBoBaby
- Posted November 5, 2009 at 8:02 pm
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I totally agree - I want to make some noise for lc!!! I want it to matter just as much as any other cancer. I don't want the people who suffer from this to be looked down on as if they "deserve" this or have done it to themselves. I just don't know how to do that right now... that's why I am asking what I can do. The information i got was by clicking on the little LCA man logo at top and this was under there... Maybe not the best choice of information to use
http://www.shinealightonlungcancer.org/
I wasn't trying to imply that smokers do not get lc... I was trying to say that no one deserves cancer whether they smoked or not. It's like saying someone deserves to get AIDS because of the choices they have made, not all AIDS victims were infected because of sex or iv drug use etc. And not all lc is caused by smoking. She is under the false impression that only smokers get lc.
Anyway... thanks for letting me vent. I guess I am just feeling a little down today and needed an outlet.
- By Mar24
- Posted November 5, 2009 at 9:09 pm
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All we can do is keep getting the word out and educating people about Lung Cancer. Unfortanetly for decades you mentioned Lung Cancer and it was all about smoking, or known as the smoking disease. Just like it took a long time to educate people that people with HIV are contagious or drug users or horrible people. It took a lot of education and time. So the best we all can do is kindly educate people and hopefully one day when lung cancer is mentioned, no one will ever say, "Did you smoke". I hope I am still around to see that day.
God bless everyone!
Maribeth
- By Kerstin
- Posted November 5, 2009 at 9:49 pm
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You are so right...Vent all you want and then some..I am with you.
God bless you
Kerstin
- By Beenthere
- Posted November 5, 2009 at 10:39 pm
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No one except the government knows what causes lung cancer and yes I believe there is a cure for all cancer out there. Yes, I smoked and yes I got lung cancer. Do I believe it came from cigarettes, NO, do you, Probably. My father smoked 5 and 1/2 packs a day and he did not get nor die of lung cancer. The Indian's smoked the peace pipe and they did not die of lung cancer. I am saddened that when you ask the doctors a question, if they don't know the answer instead of simply saying I don't know they make one up.
- By lbp08
- Posted November 5, 2009 at 11:56 pm
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Vent away - I have a couple of friends on here that I have been screaming with this week. I battle the same thing in our family....it is hurtful enough to be watching someone you love so much battle this horrible disease - but to have the hurtful words, looks and remarks added to it are just more than we can bare sometimes. Whether you are the patient or the caregiver all of this disease is hurtful enough without others adding insult to injury.
Bridget
- By Annara
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 3:43 am
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Hi,
My dad is 80 and just found out he has SCLC in the lung and liver. The day the doctor told him he had SCLC and that he ought to quit smoking, he quit smoking. My Mom had the NSCLC and she quit smoking after they took out most of one lung, then she started again, then she got put on Oxygen 24/7 and finally, after a few trips to the hospital, she quit. By the way, she has been cancer-free for 8 years now.
So, the truth is that smoking sucks and is stupid and is terribly addictive, and the people who deserve our ire are the tobacco executives who got rich figuring out new ways to get people hooked. Still, your Mom did smoke, right? And she knew it was carcinogenic. My Dad and Mom both should have quit a long time ago, in the 60s and 70s when our doctor was bugging them to quit. So, yeah, they are part of the reason they got lung cancer. They also both have COPD.
I have always hated smoking, never smoked, but I grew up around it, and both of my parents got cancer, so that worries me.
Here is something to tell your relatives and maybe yourself: eating meat is unhealthy and can cause cancer. I firmly believe that and have been a vegetarian for 33 years now. My brother ate lots of rare red meat and hated vegetables, and he got colon cancer. They took out his colon three years ago, and so far he is doing okay.
By the way, I use a cell phone a lot. So someday I may get a brain tumor, if they really cause them as some people say. And if I do, it will be my own darn fault for not using speakerphone all the time.
Good luck to you and your Mom. I hope she and my Dad both live many more years. But, what can you do? No one lives forever. They could get hit by a truck tomorrow. The way my Dad drives, it's a real possibility.
- By beckylynn
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 6:48 am
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Angel,
I grew up in a house where both my parents smoked.
I remember the label on the side of the pack of cigarettes stating it was harmful to your health yet my parents still smoked. My oldest sister currently dealing with Lung Cancer still smokes occassionally.
Both parents quit @ 8 years before my mom was dx. Do I believe my mom got it from smoking? Maybe. She was also a beautician and worked around the hair sprays and chemicals that beauticians do and I believe that may have attributed to it developing in her as well. I'm sure breathing that stuff in 9-5 cannot be healthy.
It was my dad who urged them to quit smoking when he started coughing up flem and he'd start coughing and it would just fly out of his mouth. He was embarrased and didn't want to cough something up in front of anyone he said. He has high blood pressure issues currently but nothing going on in his lungs.
There were the same age. My dad is 65 now. Mom passed when she was 58.
Regardless of why someone gets it, no one deserves it. It just happens. Same as it happens to people who don't smoke so we can only urge and donate to the cause in order to find a cure.
As they stated above - Education is the key. Cigarettes do not cause it exclusively, but it is a contributing factor whether someone actively smokes, stopped smoking years ago or they were exposed to it through second hand smoke.
B :)
- By Granny888
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 8:28 am
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Oh all of my doctors say "I don't know" -- anybody who makes something up or doesn't come out and say it is no longer one of my medical professionals. I used to have a primary doctor -- rest of family still does, decades later, I changed due to insurance issues -- whom several didn't like because he "doesn't know" but I loved him. He'd say "I don't know, let's look it up" and we did. Still provides great care for my extended family.
- By mbartusch
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 9:30 am
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I understand completely what you are saying. Asking if someone recently diagnosed with lung cancer was a smoker is as heartless as asking a person with breast cancer if they were obese, or asking a person with colon cancer if they were sedentary and ate too much red meat. It is like asking a mother who recently lost a child to misscarriage what she must have done to contribute to it.
Why does it matter? Because it appears the asker is blaming the person who got cancer and using it as a way to dimish and dismiss their suffering. It also appears the the asker may be trying to point out something that the cancer victim has never thought of.
Here's what I would have said:
Do you really think that someone diagnosed with LC carries no guilt and needs YOU to point out any possible causes within their own behavior? Really???? If you think such comments or questions are helpful or even necessary, you need a good punch in the face.
NO ONE - repeat - NO ONE deserves cancer. If you feel compelled to ask if a lung cancer VICTIM such a hateful question you better examine your own disgusting self. Keep your hate for someone who deserves it.
Yeah, I guess I failed at the getting angry thing but this is the place to vent it, right?
- By jgaynor711
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 10:06 am
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I think the way you responded was completely appropriate. People need to stop blaming smokers and smoking and start having compassion for ANYONE diagnosed with lung cancer. If they don't, we will NEVER move beyond the current 16% survival rate for this deadly disease.
Also, there's nothing wrong with comparing lung cancer statistics with the more successful survival rates of other cancers. Those are just the facts - and we can admire the advocates and researchers who've worked hard to get the research to better treat those other diseases, but if people aren't educated about the disparities - and about the smoking stigma - they will not know how desperately lung cancer research needs our help!
And lastly, the figures you cited are correct. And for the commenter who mentioned whether the smoking status was at diagnosis or not, there are three ways people classify smokers in the lung cancer world. Never smokers - which means they never smoked. Non smokers - which means that at the time of diagnosis, they are a "non-smoker" - but they may have smoked at some point in their past. And smokers which are current smokers, people who still smoke cigarettes at the time of diagnosis.
The statistics show us that 60% of people diagnosed with lung cancer either never smoked or quit smoking, usually decades ago, at the time of diagnosis.
And for the record, 20% of women diagnosed with lung cancer NEVER smoked.
These are statistics used by every one of the credible lung cancer advocacy groups including Lung Cancer Alliance, Lungevity and the National Lung Cancer Partnership.
- By AngelBoBaby
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 11:30 am
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Thank you all so very much for your responses. I really appreciate this board and all the different responses I get. You are all awesome :)
Dina
- By crazykathyp
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 11:31 am
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If people want to blame this nasty lung cancer on smoking then how do you think those others on this website that NEVER smoked but are battling lung cancer feel??!
And for those ignorant people that blame lung cancer on smoking--how's this---!!!!?? ie:
Uterine and cervical cancer --- must have gotten that from screwing---
Liver cancer--must have gotten that from drinking----
Tongue and throat cancer--must have gotten that from talking -------
Breast cancer----must have gotten that from either sex or feeding babies-----
I can go on and on and so can't you--just ignore these ignorant people that blame lung cancer on smoking. The blame goes on the cigarette companies from all the additives in cigarettes and our government for allowing these additives. Then blame the person for doing it, but not all smokers get lung cancer.
- By AngelBoBaby
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 11:34 am
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mbartusch - vent away... we all need a little steam release now and then :)
- By crazykathyp
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 11:34 am
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And we won't even mention colon cancer--what must have caused that-------------
- By AngelBoBaby
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 11:44 am
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well said crazykathyp - as far as blaming the cigarette companies, 44 years ago when my mother started smoking it was the "in" thing... it was advertised, it was glamorized, it was "acceptable". Of course everyone knew it was "bad" for you, but did it anyway. BTW my dad was a VERY heavy smoker... smoked from age 13 until the day he died at age 62... He didn't have a speck of lung cancer.... but had colon cancer - when someone would say to him "you still smoke?" he would say "Last time I checked I don't smoke outta my ass!" ;)
- By Linnie156
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 12:32 pm
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I know how you feel. My husband has been a smoker all of his life. I would say adult live but he started when he was 11. And NO he does not deserve lc because he smokes.
The best way I can tell you to deal with the people that say it is a "deserved cancer" is I pray that they never get lc or someone they love.
As for your angry it is a wasted feeling, you are never going to changed the minds of people who think this
Take your angry and turn it into loving and caring feelings for your Mom. She deserve your feeling more than the people that just do not understand
- By peyz33
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 2:12 pm
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Dana - I've been on this site for almost 2.5 years now and this topic - a HOT potato! I'm not gong to say anything regarding your question - but I will say this much - if you can ignore those people - try to do that!
Karen
- By mcarra
- Posted November 6, 2009 at 5:19 pm
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I have lost four members of my family to lung cancer. I am sure that smoking was a contributing factor for each of them. I am not offended when people ask if they smoked. It is common knowledge that smoking increses your risk of LC. Now if anyone ever said to me that they deserved to get cancer then that would be different. Let's focus now on prevention, treatment and finding a cure for this dreadful disease instead of wasting our energy fighting the associated stereotypes. All cancer sucks and I believe a real cure for one type will mean a cure for all cancer. I pray for that day.
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