Hair is Gone

Scaredwife
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Yesterday my husband said his hair was just coming out in his hand. He asked me last night if I wanted to "pull" his hair out. I said " well at one time in my life I would have jumped at the chance but No not really I don't" !!
Well at his request what was left we literally pulled out and the rest that was still attached I cut really short with scissors and then we used clippers to finish it off.
He said it was no big deal but I know it broke his heart. He had beautiful black hair and was very particular over it.
He cannot hide but so much from me.
It broke my heart but I did not tell him that either !
I told him how good "bald" looks on him and he may even want to keep the bald look even when it begins to grow back.
Faye

52 replies

kandyxxo

AWWWWWWWWWWW This just happened to me .It just sucks the only thing everyone keeps on telling me is that our hair is going to grow back better,thicker and nicer then ever before!!!Give him my love.Sincerely,Kandy

Scaredwife

Oh.......I forgot. I kept his hair and put it in a Ziploc Bag. He said I was crazy.
I'm not crazy....just sentimental. It may come back a different color or something......who knows !
Faye

RiaRia

when my dad started this process he was pretty bald to begin with, but always loved his hair. We are 7 months in to treatment and he is still obsessing about the hair! Hair started to sprout after chemo but then the radiation did it in again. I told dad that i would shave my head in sympathy if it would make him feel better. I wish you all the best and hope that hair loss will be our only worry.
m

Scaredwife

Tell your dad I think he is very handsome without hair !!!
I went Saturday and had my hair cut. I knew this was coming so just being me I had my hair cut short.
He knows I like my hair long and have never worn short hair.
I guess I just did as a gesture of support.
Hugs
Faye

SusanL1

I know the hair loss is pretty traumatic. When I first started losing mine, I kept pulling it out also until it was such a matted mess, I had to go get it shaved. It wasn't that traumatic to me that day, but it was a couple of days later when I felt like I couldn't even go outside to get the mail without putting something on my head, and if it was windy I'd stay in bed and cry. Luckily that only lasted a few days and I got used to it.
My husband who had a mustache his whole life (I swear I think he was born with it), shaved it off in support (I didn't want him to shave his head but he would've).
It does grow back.
For the first time yesterday a group of women saw me with my very short hair (maybe an inch), and they all commented on how stylish it looked. Whether they were being nice or not, it doesn't matter - it does grow back and we get a chance at a new head of healthy hair!
Susan

Marg

Through this journey, we make as many jokes as we can. The other day, Mike signed up to volunteer at the schools, listening to first graders read. He had to fill out all kinds of paperwork and one blank was hair color. I told him he should put clear! He isn't bald, his hair is clear!

Seriously, I know this can be a traumatic part of the journey, but for us, it's no big deal. I'll take a bald husband for the next twenty years or so!

Scaredwife

Amen Sisters !
Clear hair. I like that and Susan very short hair on some women is very attractive !

Ramona

It does grow back. Be patient.

windrider

Although it was an odd experience to be totally hairless...yes, even there!...it saved me time and meant no shaving my legs for a few months.

Hair grows back...don't fret the small stuff.

Peggy

debra1

I agree with all the comments but I do think the men look better than the women bald. I think how it grows back depends on the treatment. It has been a year since my head radiation and I am not bald but my hair is a mess. Poodle fuzz in the front, curly on part of the back and straight other parts. It is a mess. But I Thank God that it has my head and I dont have to wear a wig or hats all the time. Has anyone else had the weird hair changes with radiation to the head?

daze-confused

Stevens always praised himself for his thick (no receding hairline) curly hair. When it starting falling out it was messy. Where ever he was so was his hair. The couch, bathroom, kitchen, etc, last Christmas day I shaved it off for him and I think this was worse then the cancer dignoses to him. 10 months later and he is still upset about it.

kandyxxo

At 36 years old it was probably just as devastating as my diagnosis, some people not a big deal others completely traumatic it all depends on a persons personality. Maybe if I were older it wouldnt bother me so much... I just feel like im way young to even be discussing this subject lol,I should be planning vacations with my children and talking about bills and home renovations or something. Either way this just sucks!!!!

malisu1255

I always had a good, thick head of thick hair. The first time I touched my head and got a handful of hair I was devastated. I stood in the shower and bawled for 20 minutes. Over the next 3 days more and more came out. At first it just looked very thin but by day 4 there were balding spots. I went to the hairdresser and had her shave what was left. Chemo ended the first week of July and by late August I had alost a half inch of soft fur on my head. It was too short to tell if it would be curly or straight but it was the same color as the hair I lost, brown with gray. Then, I had 10 days of PCI (brain radiation). A week after that ended in mid-Sept, the little hair I had was gone. To date, mid-Oct, there is no sign of any hair on my head. I am so tired of my wig and hats I can't stand it and I worry I will never grow hair again!

Veronique

I finished chemo on beginning of June and now I have 6-8 cm long hair, same color but a bit thiner and less shiny. I was told, that after the third time cutting it will be the same thick and shine as it was. So don't worry, you hair will have a big Come Back!

mitziger

I had my 1st chemo on the 2nd of October, then supposed to wait 3 weeks. They must have given me a mega dose as 2 days ago, hair started coming out really bad when i combed it. I do not think I will have any hair by the time I take another treatment next week. My cancer was not staged and had not metastasized (sp) but have other nodules they are not sure won't turn to cancer but there is none there according to pet scan on September 29th, unless some cells got loose when they did the surgery on August 18 which the pet did not show any uptake of. The report said highly unlikely malignant but either granulomatous disease or fungal infection. I really feel like they are over treating me and I was so sick for about 5 days after my treatment, even felt like I had chemo brain. Couldn't think, couldn't sleep for 32 hours from the benadryl, was really a mess. Am taking gemzar and carboplatin (which the carbo is for ovarian and some lung cancers) The neulasta shot 24 hours later made my muscles and bones ache with electrical shocks going all through my body, hands, feet and all. I am really ready to quit it if she will not give me smaller doses and possibly more often. I am a small person and aged 75 and feel like the chemo will get me before the cancer ever does. If a symptom was there to have, I had them all. Yes and for some of us the hair loss is so hard to take. Others take it in stride and I will too when i get used to it, I guess. I feel bad for anyone who has to go through cancer. God Bless

D1

Dear Faye (aka scared wife)
My husband also had thick, beautiful hair. And 15 days after he started chemo, it fell out in chunks. Before it fell out, I tried to get him to have it cut really short. I don't think he believed it would all fall out. It was emotionally heartbreaking, very upsetting. We both agreed, he had a perfect head. My husband bought a very expensive wig that looked a lot like his hair (not as handsome), but at least it allowed us to leave the house since he did not tell anyone he was getting chemo. The chemo, the hair loss, the wig....it was all an ordeal. But, after the chemo was over, his hair grew back. At first, it was very soft, like poodle fur, but within a few mos., it was exactly like his former hair. This is just the means to an end: your husband's recovery. BTW, my husband is now 23 mos. past dx. We hope and believe he is well. God bless you, Faye, and your husband.
D (another scared wife)

D1

Get rid of that old hair....that's as if you don't think it will come back. It's coming back, throw that hair out. It falling out is a sign he's killing any stray cells...adios to the hair, the stray cells....The new healthy hair is right around the corner.

D1

Kandy, I don't think it's age...young or old, if you have a head of hair and it all falls out suddenly, that's a pretty grim reminder that you are getting some major treatment. But, you get to see the real shape of your head, and your hair grows back. And, it's almost as if you pace your recovery with the return of your hair.

RMSSyr

Maybe I'm weird, but I found massaging my head helped. I had very long hair for many years. After a month without hair, I realized I missed the sensation on my head of "running my fingers" through my hair. I started massaging my head and began to feel much better about the hair loss.

Great news is it does come back. They say it may be different than it was.

I had been dying my salt and pepper hair for years. Of course, when it started to grow back I was still getting chemo and they wouldn't let me dye it!

I joke with friends that it was the chemo that made my hair so white! (Only my hair dresser knows for sure!)

I have two 15" pony tails from when I had my hair cut short, three days before it started dropping by handfuls. I keep meaning to donate them. Someday I'll be ready to give them up!

GypsyGirl

Roy started losing his hair due to radiation to the head. It came out so fast... all in one day. Bits and pieces were left so we buzz cut it. I wanted to do mine as well, but he wouldn't let me. He is handling it well. The other day in the grocery store I asked him if he needed shampoo... he hesitated and then we both cracked up!! I kept his hair also. Tons of it in a zip lock baggie. It's a piece of him. I'm also making a mold of his hands... he always has had the greatest looking hands!

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