Hello everyone...
I need some advice... My dad has been going through chemo and radiation for about 8 months now.. He has finished his radiation however his doctor just recently gave him a month off of chemo, I think because his veins were so bad. He goes back on Friday the 23rd to see what is next. My question is my mom is his caregiver and us kids all live all over the united states which really sucks because we can not be there for mom or dad. Dad has been really grouchy and snappy at mom and she is about to have a breakdown.. I understand dad is going through so much right now and I'm sure he is just tired of being sick, he also chews tobacco and would rather chew than eat food, which he is only 131lbs down from 175. He has been really rude to mom which is not his normal behavior, Is this normal and if so what advise can I give mom... Please help me out... :)
Marie
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Grouchy....
- By Mydaddy
- Posted October 21, 2009 at 6:55 pm · 8 replies
- In Non-small cell lung cancer - Stage III
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8 replies
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- By cards7up
- Posted October 21, 2009 at 7:48 pm
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Hi Marie, what's he doing chewing tobacco, OMG!
Anyway, how has he handled the chemo/radiation? Has he had any side effects? I don't know what he received, so I can't comment on being grouchy other than he's just sick of being sick as you said. It's not an easy road for any of you. Though he is the patient you are all suffering from this. If he doesn't get better in a few days, I'd let his doctor know that his behavior is changing. Hopefully it's not brain mets. I'm not trying to scare you, but it can be a possibility. Has he had his scans yet? I wish your mom and dad the best.
Take care, JC
- By Mydaddy
- Posted October 21, 2009 at 8:25 pm
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Hi JC..
Yes he has had his PET scan about a month ago.. they did not say anything about any met to the brain gosh I sure hope not. He goes on Friday to see about putting a port in. His Onc has had the results for a month now I would hope if there was bad new they would have had him come in sooner that a month. Long story short is dad had colon cancer in January of this year had that removed and then in February they found the NSCLC stage IIIB. He finished his radiation in July and has been doing chemo 3 weeks on and 3 weeks off (Almita) You are right we are all going through this and it is an awful thing to deal with. Dad is fairly young 68 and has never been sick in his life. He smoked since he was about 14 and quit about 5 years ago. He is also a recovering alcoholic so I guess he feels like he has give up enough and does not want to give up the chew.. I know if makes me so sad to see him chewing when he is fighting for his life.. Thx so much for your advise and please feel free to keep it coming.. :)
Marie
- By TamiO
- Posted October 21, 2009 at 8:42 pm
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When I was first diagnosed, I admit that I was pretty snippy with my family too. I didn't like talking about it all the time - it made it all just too real. Every conversation was about cancer, or asking how did I feel, or what can they do for me. And everyone wanted to give advice or do things for me. It made me feel pathetic - but now I know that it should have made me feel loved.
I don't doubt that your father is feeling the same way. He may just need time to accept things. I wish you the best of luck.
- By cards7up
- Posted October 22, 2009 at 2:49 am
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A PET wouldn't pick up on brain mets. I believe it has to be an MRI. I would just mention it the next time he goes to his doctor if his behavior doesn't change, just to be on the safe side. Good luck and take care, JC
- By cosmogal_7
- Posted October 22, 2009 at 8:22 am
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Marie, I don't want to scare you either but my mom was recently doing the same thing and it turned out she had 3 mets to the brain. My daughter noticed it as well that she was acting like, well rather rude and grouchy. That was the first sign to me that she had it in the brain. Once she started acting that way it wasn't but a couple of weeks later that it got worse in way she was not eating or wanting to eat, she had lost weight and my not wanting to take her medicines. The final straw was she could barely walk and was very confused. My dad noticed the last part because I was working and couldnt' get their to see her. When he told me about her behavior I knew. Took her to the ER and when asked what year it was she said 1985!! I had no clue. Well she just finished her whole brain radiation and she is doing much better. Also be very aware that if he does have them it causes swelling in the brain and that is what causes the mental changes. If you do not act on it quick he could be at risk for a seizure of a stroke. The immediately admitted my mom into the hospital and put her on a steriod for the swelling. Talk to your mom about this and see if she can have an CT of his brain. Just cause there could be mets there doesn't mean it can't be treated. I am thinking of you and hope I am wrong.
Paula
- By Mydaddy
- Posted October 22, 2009 at 10:17 am
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Thanks Cards...
He does go to the dr. this Friday so I will make sure mom asks. Thx so much for helping me out..
Marie
- By Mydaddy
- Posted October 22, 2009 at 10:18 am
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Hi Paula,
Thx so much for your advise.. This whole thing just down right sucks, I hate this disease. Dad goes to the drs. this Friday so I will have mom mention it. Mom thought the PET scan showed everything but I guess not the brain? Thans for being there for me.. I will let you know what they say
Marie
- By cosmogal_7
- Posted October 22, 2009 at 1:32 pm
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Marie, I didn't know a pet didn't either so that is new to me as well. I also didn't know that most chemo doesn't even protect the brain cause of a blood/brain barrier. Definately ask and do tell your mom to tell the doctor about his personality change. That is the first sign. Hopefully he is just grumpy but better save than sorry.
I agree this just stinks! My mom is only 61. I am angry and just in shock too. I am here for you!
Paula
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