Extremely emotional after thoracotomy

Just wondering if anyone else out there has experienced this: I am extremely emotional after having open thoracic surgery 3 weeks ago. I can't even watch a touching commercial on TV without starting to cry! Has anyone else experienced this?

It could be the emotional rollercoaster of this entire journey that I am reacting to, I am just surprised by the strength of my emotions. I did have five preliminary diagnoses before my surgery (initially foregut duplication cyst, then terratoma, then hamartoma, then lymphoma, and lastly - leiomyoma), and it wasn't until they performed a biopsy while I was under for open thoracotomy that they discovered I actually had a typical carcinoid.

I actually don't *want* to cry right now, because it actually hurts my lungs and the left side of my body, where the surgery took place, and I don't have the energy! I have to say that, considering the circumstances, I do feel extraordinarily lucky to have been diagnosed with a typical carcinoid, which is a low-grade malignancy, and the docs have removed it all. They said my prognosis is excellent. I think sometimes the tears that constantly well up in my eyes must be from joy as well as exhaustion. But - maybe others have experienced this, a kind of chemical/emotional imbalance after surgery?

As a sidenote, I am truly awed and inspired by the courage of the people on this site and thank you all for sharing your stories and strength.

Best,
Liliana

By Munker
Posted March 5, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Report post

I think i cried every day for at least a month! Perfectly normal. Your body has been through such a severe trauma and you will need time to heal physically and emotionally. I am 6 months post op and still have days when I cry. I know it hurts to cry but i also believe it is very therapeutic and part of the healing process. You will get a little stronger every day but i am a firm believer that you should "FEEL YOUR FEELINGS" You are my daughter's age and you have been through so much already. I think crying helped me to "let it all go" (like a cleansing process). If you ever need to talk you can email me: martaunker@yahoo.com or call 203-254.3442.

By karenere
Posted March 5, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Report post

I had to go on antidepressants just because I couldn't even say hello to anyone without sobbing like a baby. I couldn't even talk to my onc without crying. Your body and emotions have gone through hell.

By rferrick
Posted March 5, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Report post

It's normal. I did the exact same thing. Commercials made me weep like a baby. I thought I was going insane. That will pass with time. Although the series "House" was once my favorite show on television, now I don't watch medical shows anymore :)
My Dr. put me on Lexapro and that really helped me.

By peace33
Posted March 5, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Report post

Lexapro is a wonder drug! And, I know friends who have been through the same types of emotions after cancer surgeries - I believe it's physical and emotional - your body's way of just healing and letting go of stress. Just let it happen, do what you need to feel better, and take care of yourself - we're all thinking of you!

By meadowbreeze
Posted March 6, 2009 at 7:02 am
Report post

I cried at all commercials. I was a mess after my first VATS surgery. My second wasn't that bad. I had that 5 years later.

I think your doing fine. Your emotions are just running a muck for you and eventually it will stop or maybe consider meds for it.

Good Luck
God bless,
Linda

By peyz33
Posted March 6, 2009 at 10:41 am
Report post

I'm still crying - we call them "pity-party's" - and we all have them - cry till you feel better - I cry at commercials too - my surgery was in November of 2007 - still crying....
Karen

By rdeegee
Posted March 6, 2009 at 10:55 am
Report post

I think she is referring to a different kind of crying ...not the I have Lung Cancer cry but the crying for anything and everything. I watched tv and I cried...someone said I love you and I cried, I read a newspaper story about some sad event and I cried ...a friend was in an accident and I cried...my eyes were always full of tears. Not because I was suffering the effects of Lung Cancer or surgery just emotions overflowing. I told my doctor that I needed to have some help and she prescribed Zolof and it was like a miracle for me. Within a few days I felt my self again and wasn't weeping because my dog did something cute or sweet. I'm not drugged and completely able to function normally...it just takes that emotional edge away.

Talk to your Doctor..

By carolyntoo
Posted March 6, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Report post

I did exactly the same thing, just cry for no real reason. A TV commercial, a smell, someone saying Hi!, anything. I can't remember when it stopped, but it did. Hang in there! And anti-depressants were a great help to me too. I'm on Effexor.

Carolyn

By liligoldman
Posted March 7, 2009 at 11:24 am
Report post

Thanks all for the good advice. I'm going to give it a few days to see how I feel, and then contact my doc if necessary.

The past couple of days have been frustrating with the recovery process. One day good, and then I get my hopes up that I'm getting there, and then I have a bad day (like today) and I get sad again. I guess I just need to be patient, and it will come in time.

By ColeenC
Posted March 7, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Report post

I had the same type of cancer removed from my left lobe all in surgery at the beginning of December. I did most of my crying before surgery. After surgery I was so thankful of them finding my cancer at the end of September, that I cried because I was blessed with support from neighbors, friends, family, and co-workers. It's okay! Your here to tell us about it! :)

By andmegab
Posted March 9, 2009 at 1:18 am
Report post

if crying is the worst thing we ever did to get thru all this mess....its a mighty good thing. cry away....i have lots of kleenex!!

talk to the doc. i swear by ativan!!!

By liligoldman
Posted March 9, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Report post

Colleen,

How did they find your carcinoid? I was just curious because mine was also found incidentally. I was totally asymptomatic... it was the end of a long semester at school and I was worn out. I happened to get a chest cold, my school doc did an xray to rule out bronchitis, and that's how the mass was found. My symptoms cleared up with some regular antibiotics but then I had the CT and learned I had to have an open thoracotomy. My carcinoid was big: 4cm x 4.5cm.

You're right, we should feel really lucky that we found our tumors before they got too serious, and that they were able to be removed in their entirety.

By ColeenC
Posted March 9, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Report post

I was rushing around in my dark house to get to an early appointment, because in Florida the sun drives our air conditioning bills up, so all the blinds were drawn. My lab was laying in a spot that she nevers lays and hasn't layed there since and I fell over her! I went to the doctors a day later to see if I bruised or cracked a rib and they decided to do an x-ray. My doctor found it and I was referred to a lung specialist and then a surgeon. Of course, I had 4 doctors opinions and they all say how lucky I was to find it at a stage 1. The only symptoms I had were fatigue. I teach kindergarten, I have 4 kids, and my husband wasn't working in our state. Of course I was tired. :) I have my first CAT scan set for the end of March and blood work the following week. Then I will go back to the onocologist to see what the results were.
When was your surgery? How much do they take of your lung? Do you have to have chemo or radiation?

By sb
Posted March 9, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Report post

Hello,

I remember going to a movie with my kids shortly after my surgery - I think it was Charlotte's web - where the movie is about a pig and the underlying threat is that the pig is going to get turned into bacon sometime - I could not bear the movie. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. My kids were embarrassed!!!!!

Also, after my surgery, I distinctly remember getting a bad attack of acne - and I had never had acne in my entire life. So I believe that there are many hormonal reactions after that surgery that doctors don't even understand yet.

I also believe that there are severe letdowns after all the painkillers/anesthesia that you are given in the hospital. The good thing is that your body will right itself in time. Three weeks out is SO early to even be worrying about this - but you are worrying just because you don't know what will happen. I do know what will happen though as if you are anything like me - this stuff gets better and better with time until it's just a vague memory. But right now you are right smack dab in the middle of the very tough part - the not knowing whether it will ever go away. IT WILL!!!!!

By liligoldman
Posted March 9, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Report post

Wow, thanks so much everyone, munker, sb and colleen and everyone else, that makes me feel SO much better. I kept trying to have a positive attitude but was such a GROUCH! Now I know there are good reasons why. I agree - there must be a let down from all the narcotics we are given post-surgery. It makes me feel SO MUCH better to know that it will get better, and that I am just in the middle of the hard part right now.

So to answer your questions Colleen, they took out 50% of my left lung, the lower half. I was Stage 2 because the tumor was over 3cm in size and it had lymph node involvement with 2 regional nodes. That scared me but the docs said that carcinoids typically don't spread from those nodes, so I should be fine. Another 1 of my regional nodes was clear and that the big "mediastinal" lymphs were totally clear. So they said they got it all. The docs said it was really unaggressive and could easily have been there for 2 decades! That means I probably had it since I was a child. They also said I was really lucky because it was "encasing" the main pulmonary vein and may have been inoperable in some years.

So the docs said no chemo, no radiation, but follow-up every six months. I go in for my first "baseline scan" in a few weeks, and then I return six months after that for my follow-up.

By claires
Posted March 10, 2009 at 8:24 am
Report post

You are weak from surgery and drugs. If you need them, anti-depression medicines might help, but just know, you will get better gradually. Walk as much as you can; force yourself, as walking can notify the endorphins in your sad mind to get busy and make you feel better.

By Tmg41
Posted March 11, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Report post

I had my surgery Oct 2003 and I cried at everything for no reason. I would play on pogo and ball my eyes out. It is much better now. I only cry at nothing once in a while LOL

Good luck with it and it is best to let the tears flow and don't fight it.

Terry

By ALYCE
Posted March 12, 2009 at 11:23 am
Report post

I am a 67 year old female and I also had a typical carcinoid tumor (approximately 1 cm) in my right upper lobe, of which 15% (of lobe) was removed. I recovered very quickly physically, but, did experience emotional "ups and downs" - which were explained to me by my docs at M D Anderson probably came from all the medications I was taking - sure enough, they disappeared about a month after surgery - Being told you have cancer is an emotional roller coaster anyway, and when other things are introduced into the mix, the tears will fall - You will be just fine and whatever it takes to help you, go for it! "This too will pass" as my Mom always told me - Good luck!

Welcome to Inspire!

Explore topics in this discussion:

18 replies

Add to the discussion

Help from Lung Cancer Alliance

You