Does it usually take this long to get going?

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It was three weeks ago they found a mass in dads right lung. In those three weeks he has undergone a needle biopsy....news of squamas carcinoma and the fact they believe it has spread into lymph nodes in the chest.
Last week they finally set up his appt with oncologist for the 14th of oct. Isnt that like waiting a long time? We dont even have news yet of any staging....no other tests...just being told that he will likely undergo radiation for 5 days in a row and chemo for two days in a row. I have not seen my dad as they live away from all of us kids. But I talk to Pop every nite and mom too. I asked mom if she has seen a change in dad in these three weeks. She said he is weaker, sleeps all the time.... I am trying to determine when I should leave and go down there....do I wait until after the appt with the oncologist....even longer after any pet scans are ordered IF they are ordered....or to have quality time with my pop...should I just go now? I am going to be the on site caregiver with my folks. He is set to go to Mercy Hosp. in Redding Calif. which is a cancer specialist hosp. I was just wondering if this is normal, all this time to go by. How do I determine w/o info how he is doing (age 71), when I ought to go. Any and all insight will help me. Im so conflicted over this.

6 replies

So sorry to hear about your dad.

Assuming that your mom is close to your dad's age, if it were me, I would be there for the oncologist appointment, ready with a list of questions and expecting straight answers.

Since the biopsy has already been done, they should know the staging also. That's what determines the route to go for treatment. They will probably order a PET scan to see if there is any other area active. They will probably also do a CEA blood test along with the standard blood work.

Make sure you get copies of all the reports in case you decide to go for a second opinion. That's always a good thing. Even being at a cancer hospital, you may want to still get a 2nd opinion. You will know that after you meet the doctors.

You should also have your dad authorize you to be able to get any/all information directly from the doctors. You will need to fill out a form for this. That way you can be present at all appointments and speak with any of his doctors.

I'm sure others will have other suggestions. This is a good place to find help.

Take a deep breath and do a little research on the net. Just DO NOT pay any attention to the statistics you will find because they are 5-10 years old and do not include any of the newer drug data.

I have stage 4 lung cancer, both lungs, diagnosed 2 years ago. So there is hope. The key is to fight and not give up. I'm 61.

May God be with you on this journey. Please keep us informed and if we can help, let us know.

God Bless you all.

I found it very helpful when my son and daughter-jin-law flew here to go to the meeting with the oncologist. They asked questions I was too numb to consider.

Since then, family has visited regularly and calls often. I'm stage IV and doing relatively well on alimta after haveing blown through radiation and two other chemos. Somehow, because family supports us, I feel an obligation to do the best I can do.

I agree, family present is a plus as long as they are staying positive. Make your own list. I originally met with my Oncologist alone with a list. My wife was a wreck. After talking with my wife later, she had a lot of questions that I didn't have answers to.
I was diagnosed stage 3b originally on 9/19 with small cell carcinoma, Egg sized on the left hilar with multiple lymph nodes involved and mets to the spine. This was just before radiation plaque therapy for my ocular melanoma caroidal. (still no path report on that). I have been upgraded or downgraded to stage 4 extensive. I just had my first chemo yesterday with another today and tomorrow. So about 2 weeks in my case. Then I meet with the radiologist on Thurs. Be prepared once the ball starts rolling it can snowball. I have one or two appointments everyday for the next two weeks. The first chemo went really good I think with basically no side effects. I felt the same leaving as I did arriving, however everyone responds differently. Holding my head high and looking at my golf clubs everyday.

Thank you for all the info you all gave me. It has been encouraging and steadying for me. I appreciate the additional info regarding getting forms to file, adding myself into the mix with the health. I am already going to be added onto their financial and banking stuff.
I will continue to post as i go each step on the journey.
I had not thought that getting a 2nd opinion was so important. When do you know to GET a second opinion? If they already have the staging...why hasnt someone said anything???

You will learn as you go that unless you ask specifically, most doctors will not be "volunteering" information other than generalities. You need to be prepared and insistant. Remember, the doctors work for you, not the other way around.

The biopsy should have defined the staging. Ask. As for the second opinion, you will know once you meet the doctors and hear their treatment options whether you are satisfied and comfortable to know that they are going to fight for your dad's best interests or not. If they don't answer your questions and you don't feel the treatment suggested is aggressive enough, then get that second opinion. It can never hurt.

Good luck and keep us posted please.

bobsdoe,

We are here for you if you need any support. Know that you are not alone in this and many of us have felt the same way as you.

I am truly sorry for you and your family, I too am going throuugh this with my Dad. But like the other have said... keep positive... there is always hope!

God bless and keep you all.

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