Confused by the best + surgey?

Hi all. I came round with support months ago being a 14 year/stage3-b cured.
Lo + behold...I asked-ASKED for a CT on Dec 2nd and there is a tiny alien in the opposite lung. Never saw this coming. ) -:
Not after 13 1/2 year sof spotles everything, The LIFE showed on the PET. Even though there is a 1 in a zillion chance it could be something else when they pathology it in surgery.
NOT connected at all to the 1st cancer in 1995. (good news) and nowhere else. I am at the best center ever with the best team ever and the entire dept wuv me and I wuv them and I matter more to them than my own family.
It is in the most operable spot it could be and they do not doubt I will be a 2nd miracle forever.
I wanted a "resection and surrounding tissue."
The surgeon wants upper left lobe removal and my hero-oncol. agrees.
Oh--My pulmonary Function tests were higer than someone who has never been sick. ( -:
I was so proud--like a 3rd grade.
So they want the best outcome. I have known this new journey for 2 months. Last night I 'googled.'
I saw the left lung!!!!
The one with TWO lobes and the upper lobe is more than 3/4 of the lung!
Ain't happening. Yet my oncologist says I won't feel too bad after all the recovery but I had NOT seen the pics.
I am freaked cause MY QUALITY OF LIFE needs my lungs. We are all different.
I am not scared of cancer or croaking. I am only crying because I am so so so alone. Completely.
But now that I saw this photo, I had my 1st really bad day since dec. 2nd. Today--the 6ht of feb and snowed in ( -:
So My surgeon better rethink the plan UNLESS they said "part" of the upper left lobe."
At 2 cm this makes no sense.
Google: left lung lobe and you will see. Talk to me. I rarely ask for hugs. Always give them but I am asking now.
And you should hear what I had planned for the next few wks but limbo is bringing on symptoms of other bad malfunctions and sad sad sad.
thank you all.
walstib14--female--40's

By jazzbo
Posted February 6, 2010 at 11:11 pm
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Hi W, Wow after 14 yrs and they did this to you ( not sure who they are but we don't like them). I am sure you want to save as much lung as you can. Heck all of us want to have a great deal of air. OK scared out of your mind is I'm sure putting it mildly. I am a ten year survivor of 3a NSCLC. If they came to me and said you have lung cancer again. I'm not sure what I would do but I hope I will wiegh my options and make an educated decision. Now because you have been through this you probably already know all the reasons why you should follow the protocol the doc's recommend. However I have been on both sides of the listen ,don't listen situation. I would go with my gut and press forward. If these great guys won't do what you want find some other great guys who will see your opinion . I am so glad to not at this moment going through this again. God bless and good luck, John

By cuddles53
Posted February 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm
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I am so sorry you are going through this. I know hearing how long you were cured for, and then this may seem to some that, well you had many good years but not quite so. In fact I think it must have been a fearful 14 years, always in the back of your mind that those little cells would, or could act up again. I think you have suffered enough turmoil. Now it is time to really end this once and for all. Get this tumor out, and have it done and over with. It is a small lesion I am unsure why they are suggesting taking such a large section, I think you may have heard them incorrectly, and if not, then ask them why so much of it needs to come out, and why not just have radiation with the gamma knife? Is this a possibility?
Good luck and God bless you
Sandy

By cards7up
Posted February 7, 2010 at 7:49 am
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I can understand your confusion. Ask them why they can't do a wedge resection or something similiar? That's all I can offer for now. Wishing you the best.
Take care, JC

By walstib14
Posted February 7, 2010 at 3:16 pm
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Thanks eveyone and love to you who suffer more!
1st, My 'THEY" are the best. THE BEST. The reason they are saying "upper left lobe" is that IS the standard but yes I have questons.
OK--this is kinda funny: I have a huge awareness level and have since I was born. I learn everything, every second of my life and sometimes we take it for granted because it is NOT vanity so I didn't think to ask for a pic and lobe sizes etc.
I need to ask more questions ands see more pics of the left lobe.
But I also want to say that in 14 years...I have never evere EVER EVER lived in any fear of recurrance. Not at all. I mean every CT is apprehnsive but I have a couple maladies that keep me a tad nuts anyway.
NOPE--Have never had it 'in the back of my mind.' I am giving and loving and involved and the other day made QUITE the microphone out of my hairbrush! Springsteen would have been proud. yes--this is a big ole shock but I was a smoker a lifetime ago. This is what happens. Just never saw it comig. I am OK actually.
I am too weird to not be ok ( -:
As long as I have stupid jokes, music, earth, divinity, friends and you all-----we will get by. We will survive.
Thank you so so so much. I MUST ask about resection AGAIN. They just want all 'fertile ground' gone. I liked that statement. Thought it was cute.
My best friend told me today that the left lung is smaller because it makes room for the HEART. She told me mine is so huge---it needs more room!
( -:
When you google "lobes", all pics are different so we need to forget I am so smart and get DETAILS.

By walstib14
Posted February 7, 2010 at 3:22 pm
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PS-14 years ago was too easy. It happened in moments--3-b and INOPERABLE so I didn't have time to think. Just acted.
I annilated (we) a lg. lemon size tumor within 8 months w/o surgery so this is confusing. Kinda creep getting parts cut out.
teee-heee

By walstib14
Posted February 7, 2010 at 3:45 pm
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last ps--promise
( -:
was just googling and lobectomy is what theyit said:
best chance to kill FOREVER (the cancer)
oh well, we'll see. I overreacted maybe?
I will still climb glaciers and work out and dance because my pulmonary function is as good as a person who never had LC.

By rmhayes
Posted February 7, 2010 at 8:35 pm
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I wished ya hadnt looked it up now. You were so positive and so sure of all involved and now....your questioning their decision(u should always do that at anytime u deem it necessary) and your future quality of life. I pray that when you make your final decision...you are just as positive as when you first was told that you will do fine. Please remember...your faith and attitude is 99.9% of the battle.
I too wouldnt want my left lung messed with unless I felt I could have quality of life. So i am glad also...that you looked because maybe they dont have to take as much as they originally said.
Double edge sword....on one hand...on the other hand.
Again, your in my prayers that you make the right decision. wished I could help but I didnt hve surgery. wasnt eligible.
Maybe tomotherapy is your answer without surgery?

By walstib14
Posted February 7, 2010 at 9:12 pm
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I gett he feeling people are reading me being far more afraid then I am.
I had said that my team does NOT think my quality of life will be hindered that much because my pulmonary function is perfecto!
My right lung has rocked in healing these last 14 years. It's just that I didn't know how BIG the upper lobe is on the left lung. The right has 3. Left-2.
This is the best bet choice of standard care for no recurrance.
I just shouldn't have been looking at pics. I will be asking question this wk but they know what they are doing. They know me and they know I kick this stuff's butt and want me to again. It's just looking at pics when you are alone is goofy!
ABSOLUTELY surgery of 'some kind' is necessary at stage 1 if possible. Wasnt possible the 1st time and I did great anyway.
Please forgive if I am giving the wrong impression.
Keeping healthy (try) along life's path in all ways makes our bodies healthier for this big, yucky stuff.
Love you all.
Wish we could meet up.
Questiong!
I live to question. My main doc told me the other day he has rarely seen someone learn everything about everything she comes across.
I teach others how to find their way when they feel skiddish about their care.
I wish everyone could be at this Cancer Center.
I struggle and suffer hard with other things daily/hourly.
Maybe that's why the big stuff seems easier.
As long as I can be weird, I am fine. As long as people are uncomfortable when I car dance, I am fine.
I think those who suffer come out other ends tougher than people who "use escapes" to deal with life.
And I am sad for all this loss I am reading about here lately.

By BIRDY
Posted February 8, 2010 at 1:02 pm
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Hi,
I just wanted to share that I have had (2) lobes on the right side removed and the upper left lobe also removed. I am in perfect health and have not had any breathing issues. The last operation was 18 months ago and all is fine.
They first tried to remove a section of the upper left but that din't go so well and within a short time I had to have it redone...
I have never done chemo and I concider myself CURED...
Try not to worry, God will see you through this !!!
BIRDY

By walstib14
Posted February 8, 2010 at 5:41 pm
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((Dearest Birdy))
Thank you. Why is the timing good?
Tel ya why: I truely do have 2 metabolic maladies that have stolen my life and make C look easy. The caus eother messes as well--hour by hour. Things are always hard. So when I realized I hadn't asked enough questions because we all presume I am clear, I felt......felt.....well I AM alone.
I NEED earth and fitness and whales and to hug trees. Some others have different views of "quailty of life" as we are all individuals.
Some people think Sarah Palin is something other than a bottom feedling loser so go figure.
I had a bad bad bad day today BECAUSE of being alone and seeing those pics on google this wkd.
I have chronic fatigue and severe sleep disorders among other things. I wept a lot early today and crawled in to bed bout 1:30 and passed out. When I woke, I called the surgeon and by fate he had an opening tomorrow. (tues)
I felt better.
I have not worked our but twice in 2 wks and am so weak and it adds to what already exisits as well as depression.
WAIT--It gets better:
I got up and made tea to TRY this day again. I was taking out the garbage and took a bad bad fall on the ice in our UNPLOWED parking lot.
My head too.
I feel all funny but I always feel funny. Should I go to the ER or Not ER?
So crying again because all I wanted is a second shot at this day.
Invisible handicaps are hard. So hard.
So I get the gift of people 'snowed in' and an appt tomorrow for clarity and fell in the p-lot. YOU KIDDNG ME?
I just want a break.. ANY break, even if it is a date with someone not named Bubba!
(sorry)
We all have journies and mine always bites but I always keep trying. How tired of trying do we have to get before it stops? Why do mean people try at nothing?
You helped here as everyone has yet thank you for reading my words literally.
That matters.
Sorry for the long story but you helped. You all have.
fFr those of YOU or ones you love......go look at the message boards on:
www.butyoudontlooksick.com

It helps people. Cancer is there. Read the Spoon Theory.
I wish again that we were all in hammocks somewhere in the South Pacific.
I know I will have clarity after tomorrow regarding my left lung.
But will I find a Genie in a bottle too for the rest?
( -:

) -:

I am at daysbtwn@hotmail.com
trivia---who knows what the letters of my screen name stand for?? OK--GO!

By walstib14
Posted February 8, 2010 at 10:06 pm
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You find the best times to make me smile. Mild concussion but no hospital.
Letters:
"~*~What A Long Starnge Trip It's Been!~*~~"
Thank you Mr. Garcia. I wonder what YOU ALL. up there making great music, think of all the insanity down here? Especially you, John? Didn't we just wanna give peace a chance?

PS---lets all remeber that when we visit other message boards, our confidentiality from places remains.
Clarity tomorrow with surgeon. I want pictures and description of procedure. Upper lefty.
Not planning on Surgery till 26th But if he'll slam it done--why not now---this friday.
Thanks again everyone and to our breathing well (((BIRDY)))

By walstib14
Posted February 10, 2010 at 10:32 pm
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I am different. Does not make me 'off.'
Born this way!
Saw doc. Feel 100% better and ready to go.
With all my vision and global love and concern for all cancer and all going through it.
I do NOT take it lightly but have suffered with other things too long and cannot let it put me back in that dark dark...very dark place.
Moved up my surgery and had all my fears eased.
"All You Need Is Love"

By D1
Posted February 10, 2010 at 10:46 pm
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Dear W,

I am so sorry that you have been called on to be brave yet again.

I symptathize with your desire NOT to lose your lung function, but I don't think they would recommend the whole lobe if they thought it was just as safe to do a wedge.

You said you love and trust those docs; trust them one more time.

God bless and good luck.

D

By walstib14
Posted February 11, 2010 at 10:04 am
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thank YOU....BUT I cannot be afraid of losing a lung when I never said I was losing a lung!!!
I said, upper lobe AND that when I looked at pics, it looked like more than 3/4 of it so.....I freaked and saw my surgeon the other day and feel much better and I need to stay OFF the computer pics!
( -:
Thank you for your support and I wanted to clear it up. UPPER LEFT LOBE removel.
(unless it's benign but that won't happen!)

By Berthabeans
Posted February 11, 2010 at 10:12 am
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Hello... I had upper left lobe removed Dec.1/09. I can breathe no problem... deep breaths etc. I do get a little winded if i do too much at once (shovel snow etc). I felt the same as you when I saw what they were going to take but it turned out not too bad afterall. Decided to do chemo which starts Feb.19th - once a week for 16 weeks.....a little nervous about this but decided to go ahead "just in case something escaped although surgeon felt good about everything. I'm stage 2B.

By walstib14
Posted February 11, 2010 at 5:50 pm
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(((berthabeans!)))
how cute IS THAT???
I love being on teh SHORT BUS! Things like that make me smile ( -:

ah....er.....wow......SIXTEEN wks.
Sounds a tad aggressive. Just asking.
When I was stage 3-b in 1995 and INOPERABE an dbigger than a lemon...I had FIVE rounds of chemo.
FIVE.
Yes, we are all made of different helix's but they sure?
2-b
I had 2 rounds of cisplatin and 3 rounds of velbane. 6 wks radiation.
Tumor ate itself up quick. Cured ever since.
Till now, but they are not related.
Maybe YOUR body is stronger than needing all that but again...just asking.
Born wanting knowledge!
Thanks for your input on my lobe-ster!
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

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