..condolences..

a_white_rabbit
7 Recommendations

..i so hate losing a sheep, how much more so to lose a human..

..i know we're gonna have fall-out here, it's in the nature of our problem, but damn, damn, damn, we shouldn't have to go to the fighter's sections to express our sorrow, it's not right...

..so Inspire, can we please have a burial ground ? , black edged, totally tasteful, where we can bury our dead ? add a flower to the grave ? what-ever...

..the living need "closure" even on the internet, and there really should be a space for this..

49 replies

BetsyT

What a loving idea-I for sure could use that right now-What do we do with the "fall-out" of all these losses. Thanks whiterabbit...

Walter

Hello a_white_rabbit. We do have plans to add a guestbook for member profiles in the future, which I think will help. You'll be able to post a message for a member on his or her profile page.

a_white_rabbit

..Walter..

...that is just so not it..

..that's pink'n'wooly, avoiding-the-issue think time..

..the member, or member's relative is dead, pushing up daisies, an ex-member, hanging from the purch by his toes, rigid (beats on counter like a piece of wood..thank you Monty Python), deceased...

..and the rest of us grieve..

..we need a now-place, complete with the necessary images, not a bloody "guest-book", what do you think this all is, a hotel ?..

..we're fighting for our lives, and doing our poor bests to help those who come after, and those who have to live on with the loss..

..'closure', an end to it, in correct and due form, a burial ground..

..sheeesh, how can you be so insensitive ?..

..get real, we are..

BetsyT

wr,
You crack me up...Thank you for keepin'it real.. Only so much one can sugar-coat s**t.Lately I do wonder if this might be a "hotel"-Or moreover a social club...

spirit1125

Thank you White Rabbit......well said...I have come to the point of not wanting to come to the site of late, the losses are just sad.....as Betsy says "what do we do with the the "fall out" of all these losses.

God bless, Mary

Walter

My reply was just to let you know that we plan to add some other ways to leave messages for members - to say hello, wish someone well, or share condolences. Guest book may not be the best name for the feature. It's just a name that's used commonly for that sort of thing. Others have asked for this feature, specifically to share condolences and create memorials.

Walter

Beth

If you prefer, we do have a bereavement group:
http://www.inspire.com/groups/bereavement/

If that's not what you are looking for maybe you could be a little more clear. I think adding a place on member profiles to leave messages after someone has passed was what you were asking for, if not, maybe clarify?
Beth

Toddy

Dear White Rabbit:

BetsyT is so right on, thanks for keeping it real. Your idea of a place to recognize our own is terrific.

If it is all we can have Walter's idea of some type of guest book is a start. I think we need a little more though it could be a place where we can express our feelings and thanks to our lost friends, our hero's and to the families of our LC friends exclusively not generically.

As we lose our friends most of whom we never met, we still suffer a time of grief. Beth mentioned an existing section for bereavement, and that too is going in the right direction. I have to confess I've not check out that site but I get the impression it is designed more for close family and friends of someone who had passed.

Thank you white Rabbit, perhaps in being one of the most straight talking posters your also most sensitive of all,

Toddy

lms

You Rock!!! Nicely put. Simple, not so sweet, and very real and down to earth.
HUGE hug, Lisa

pattyp1

hey, white rabbit,
I agree with you.

In addition, I think we should start sending flowers to those who inspire us.

Here goes,
white rabbit - I'd like to send you a blossom from a mimosa tree - fragrant and exuberant and lovely. I don't know if you have mimosa trees over there, but here in the American south, they grow under the glare of the hottest sunshine, usually in rocky areas. I just saw a mimosa tree with thousands of these cheery pink flowers today - they remind me of you.

My prayer is that the angels send you unexpected joys.

Sending hugs, as always!
Pat

CKP

Lungevity has an area marked "Grief". Within that area are two sub-areas, obituaries and grieving. Perhaps something like that?

Jolene

Boy! I thought white rabbits were all soft and cuddly, but this one knows how to lay down the smack! I loved your point blank approach. God Bless you. Jolene

Beth

Hi CKP,

We could talk to LCA about adding a "Grieving" or "saying goodbye" topic to this group. I was under the impression that having it in this group was the issue.

If everyone who reads this thread will post their thoughts or send me a message I'm sure we can find a way to fill the need.

Thanks!
Beth

BetsyT

Beth & Walter,
Thank you for your hard work. A "Good Bye" area sounds good to me.(On this site) A place to honor,& pay our respects to our loved ones...Thanks,Betsy

Toddy

Beth,

A place to grieve of our own, on this site, would be wonderful and greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much for hearing White Rabbit and the responses to his post.

jazzbo

Amen, amen, amen . I join the choir in singing my accolades to the rabbit . It is so hard to comeon and see so many lose their fight. I mean it is so hard for me an 8 yr survivor I can only imagine how hard it is for you guys going through the journey or just starting out.
My only idea would be to keep this a semi private space where we could enter if we wanted but not have the posts be in your face when you come on the site. As the obituaries are in the newspaper it is on page 3 second section. We know it is there but it is our decision to turn to the page. If someone we are close to we usually know that they are doing badly. Even if it is unexpected we find out through the community grape vine, Personally.
Maybe I'm off track but I just want it out there- John

Angie-in-SC

I completely understand and agree with what jazzbo is saying. I lost my mother a year ago, but continue to find this group helpful for support. I can only imagine how hard it is to read the headlines of some of the posts. I know that it is for me. However, I continue to come here for encouragement, myself, and to see how others are doing in our fight against lung cancer.
I have to admit that I like the format that Lungevity uses with labeled areas where you click on the member's name to read the updated post.

I also love what pattyp1 said about sending flowers to those that inspire us. White rabbit, I thought of you today on my way home when I passed a couple of mimosa trees.
Sending you all the sweet smell of my gardenias and wishing you a good day.
Angie-in-SC

a_white_rabbit

..Beth..

..it's not bereavement groups we need, just somewhere to go, and sit quietly, and maybe leave a flower, play some music, a moment's peace..

..look, i've got exactly where i'm to be buried well instructed, ( on the top of a hill overlooking my farm), the burial area is designed, benches, trees, great view, somewhere to think, the religious symbols are already designed and created, a menhir, the mahogany for the coffin is in store, and the carpenter has been chosen and informed of his task, and the design, the music chosen and put on disc, all that remains are the words, and ' i'm be moastly 'experimentin' toDA" with them...

..damn, s'my funeral..

..here, some how i can go something internetty, cartoon almost. Maybe like the WW1 grave-yards on the Western Front, nice, simple, laid out by name...

..an image, a net-place, and so many simple wooden crosses, maybe a few flowers with links to our past words here, even some birds and a rabbit or few ( in some religions a messenger from this world to the next, and any way, at my mother's Hospice there were many rabbits in the grounds at dawn, i remember them well)..

..visual, simple, unreal/real, and a weight to add to all future discussions by the powers that be about LC...

..look, Inspire, beyond the basic, you're-a-member type cross, you can add value, and so help pay for the site. No, i'm not being cynical, art-work takes time and uses band-width, so does felling a tree and planking it...

..and we get to fight on...

a_white_rabbit

..bump..

..i'm not letting this one drop..

LTLCS

I found this board and info below if anyone is interested.
***********************************************************************

Use the Death & Dying board to discuss your dying loved ones. This board is for members who are personally fighting for recovery from Lung Cancer.

We are very sympathetic when you are experiencing the dying process or death of your loved one. But please understand that that discussion is not encouragement for those still fighting to remain positive and survive.

Please only use the appropriate boards: Death & Dying or Grief & Loss.

http://www.healthboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=616643
*********************************************************************
It's just a suggestion.

Warm Regards,
LTLCS

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