any words of wisdom?

• By hopefuldaughter
• Posted October 4, 2008 at 12:27 am

I can feel your pain. Please try not to get ahead of yourself. I know how you feel, I'm going through similar things with my mom. Just try to get a good night's sleep and then go see your mom and tell her what you just told us! Then take it step by step. Make sure you get a second opinion on her treatment to make sure it's the best it can be.

Hugs to you.

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• By hopefuldaughter
• Posted October 4, 2008 at 12:29 am

I just noticed you're in Taunton. I'm in Quincy. If you can, try to get your mom's doctor to consult with Dana Farber - maybe even get her up there when she feels better.

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• By yelbrkrd
• Posted October 4, 2008 at 12:44 am

hi, thanks for reply. sometimes it feels good to vent to strangers, lol. my moms oncologist is in brockton, ma and shes in lifecare center in raynham. we havent really had a chance for 2nd opinion yet, were having trouble figuring out the first opinion. its hard also because of what started this whole thing, my mom bent over and hurt her back. at first drs were going to do back surgery and then found cancers everywhere. so she is in lifecare for rehab. it would be easier if we could transport her easily but she cant even get into my car bcuz its too low to ground. its basically my sister and i locally, but we both work (me 2 jobs as a single mom). do u think she may be better even if shes in icu with pneumonia to both lungs? sorry to vent so much. how is your mom doing? thanks for kind words it means the world to me. us MA daughters have to stick together, hugs to u also, edith

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• By hopefuldaughter
• Posted October 4, 2008 at 12:56 am

You know, I felt the same way about the strangers here on this site, but before long, they don't feel like strangers anymore!

I really can't say what to expect with your mom, I just don't know. But anything is possible, and her being in the hospital is good, she will get care ASAP. Pneumonia can be treated well with antibiotics. Does she have health insurance? You could look into ambulance service transport up to Boston. Also, make sure your mom is being treated by a thoracic oncologist. And / or PRESS STRONGLY for them to call DF. It's your mom, don't you dare worry about stepping on someone's toes. I don't want to knock every local hospital, but it's just not the same. Make sure you speak to her doctors - almost like interviewing them. Not all oncologists are created equal.

Turn on the Red Sox. It will provide you with a little distraction! Hang in there and let us know how you are doing.

Pam

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• By yelbrkrd
• Posted October 4, 2008 at 1:10 am

lol, my mom loves the sox, did they win? she will be pissed she missed the game. in answer to your ?s she has medicare and my dad has insurance. that ins. pays for lifecare til dec 5th. dont get me going on insurance, its a big scam. im single mom of 8 yr old son and my work doesnt pay for his insurance so hes on masshealth which i do pay for monthly and they make me fill out 10 pages of info every few months and once i had to prove he was a citizen and he was only 4 i think, lol. im not a person on welfare i work two jobs . hope u dont think im a bad person but my sister has been taking her to apptments and me only once, my mom hates my car. its so hard bcause we both work and cant miss work, work is highly overrated. so its hard for me to speak to drs, etc. my older sis is here just lastnight til tuesday from vegas to try to figure out all the medical, insurance, $ stuff, and to clean my moms house cuz thats what mom wants, which is good cuz shes thinking about coming home. we cant even get ambulance to brockton, much less boston. my moms onc has no personality i heard. i just want her to get out of icu, can people visit icu? how is your mom doing? she goes to dana farber? ur sweet for helping me thru this, and u even mentioned the sox, are u a guardian angel?

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• By sandy45
• Posted October 4, 2008 at 1:29 am

Hi...I know how helpless and afraid you feel,I was You when my Dad was sick. Now I am the one with the Lung Cancer. TRUST ME, BEING THE SICK ONE IS EASIER THAN BEING THE DAuGHTER!!!
For what it is worth I have been in the Hospital twice and I was pretty sick . I did get better and was actually in remission until about 3 weeks ago, (3 years remission) I cannot speak for her but, I never once thought I wasn't going to make it, I only found out after i was home and well how sick i really was.If you are like I was with Dad, I wanted to protect him and wanted to make sure he was not afraid. I would be willing to bet your Mom has no idea that she is very sick and I bet she is not afraid at all. Don't panic just yet.Try to think positive thoughts so your Mom can feel good feelings coming from you, that means a lot. My thoughts and prayers are with u. Please feel free to vent anytime you need to. My best to you and your Mom.

xoxo
Sandy

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• By hopefuldaughter
• Posted October 4, 2008 at 1:31 am

Awww, thanks. I'm just trying to give back a little as people have been so kind to me here. Sox are trying to win....that's why I'm still up!

My mom is doing okay. She's had a few rounds of chemo, is 62 and is going for her first scans next week (I'm scared). She lives in out by Springfield and drives in to Boston to DF. She loves the doctors there.

I don't think badly of you. I work and live here and wish I could be home all the time. But my mom doesn't want me to right now. We will see how things go. What happens when you get in this situation is you try to go through day to day stuff and deal with this on top of it and it's like a bad tream or a fog or the Twilight Zone. I go to work and smile and feel fine, then I'm in my office and start to cry. It's awful.

Red Sox just won and I'm off to bed. I am certain you can see your mom in the ICU. Get some rest.

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• By yelbrkrd
• Posted October 4, 2008 at 1:46 am

sandy, thanks for the kind works, u sound like a fighter!

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• By yelbrkrd
• Posted October 4, 2008 at 1:49 am

pam, thanks again, good luck to your mom, she sounds like a tough cookie which is a good thing. i understand ur work situation, its hard to fake being happy all day when ur not. thanks for sox update, my sis just called and said my mom is comfortable and watching the game in icu, they are giving her tough antibiotics and shes not in pain, im gonna try to sleep and go see her in am, i want to be positive in front of her but its hard, and im emotional type but havent cried in front of her yet. thanks to both of u for getting me thru this nightmare of a night. i wish u all the best, keep me posted on things, edith

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• By Don_M
• Posted October 4, 2008 at 7:41 am

I am sorry your mom is sick. I have had pneumonia 3 times with my cancer and had to g to the hospital twice. I survived it ok. I did not have a fever though. my pneumonia was treatment related.

Don M

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• By kimba1
• Posted October 4, 2008 at 1:11 pm

In a similar situation my mom is also sick just got upgraded to stahe IV yesterday with met to liver. I am shocked, mad, scared and worried at the same time. I now that moms and their children have a strong connection so I know she senses that you are there pulling for her to get through this set back. just stay strong and pray, hopefully you will get the chance to tell her how much you love her when she comes out of this. I will pray for you and your mom and your family. Kim:)

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• By yelbrkrd
• Posted October 4, 2008 at 6:38 pm

thank u all for the kind words, its very appreciated and means alot esp since u both have ur own problems. my mom was put on ventilator this am bcause she was having trouble breathing, but she is breathing on her own also. the nurses said they sedate her and give her tons of medicine and try to get rid of pneumonia and get her white blood cells up higher. they say this could take 3 days for the meds to do their thing. my 2 sisters are here and brother and we are doing shifts to be with her. this is pretty much my worst nightmare, im just praying she gets out of this ok and wasnt the praying type but it cant hurt i hope, lol. the nurses dont help, one told me my mom could hear us so to talk to her, which we all have been, trying to be encouraging and for her to fight this, but then another nurse said not to talk to her bcuz it may make mom want to wake up and she shouldnt wake up yet. this was after the nurse did something to the tube and my moms eyes opened and arm moved and my mom looked upset. i said "its ok mom" and the nurse said not to talk but i just wanted my mom to know i was with her and it would be ok. wtf? im feeling overwhelmed, sorry to vent and gross u all out, i appreciate you helping me, any advice welcome and i will use u for my strength, thanks edith

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