Alimta and life advice

• By Gweena
• Posted June 5, 2008 at 1:08 pm
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Hi,
I have had 6 rounds of Alimta, and yes, it is a short treatment. The Alimta itself takes about 20 minutes, and the before and after stuff makes it a total of about an hour. I think that's great, since my first and 2nd line of treatment took hours. So this is a good thing. Side effects are also pretty mild for the most part. I have now learned to take anti-nauseau meds before I need them.
As far as your personal life, you have to live it. Your Mom is right and that is exactly what I told my daughter. I don't want her life to stop because I am battling this awful disease. I know she will be here during the times when I really need her. She changed universities to be near home right after my diagnosis which was really good for both of us. She does better seeing me and knowing that I'm OK right now while taking Alimta than being far away and letting her imagination run wild. But she still goes out, goes to school, and goes to work. Everyday when she leaves she says 'call me if you need me' and I know I can and she will be here. But I would feel SO guilty if she just sat around the house watching and waiting. Her life and happiness and well-being is extremely important to me. Your Mom must feel the same way. You are there if she needs you, but you must continue living, and believe me when I say, your happiness is very important to her. You and my daughter are under alot of stress just thinking about what might come. You need to get out. There will be times when she needs you and you will know it and you will be there. But you have to take care of yourself in order to help take care of her. If this guy gives you happiness and comfort, then you are doing a good thing for both yourself and your Mom. So my dear, go out and try to have some fun. No guilt. You will be there for her when she needs you and a smile on your face is probably the best medication you can give her.
Gweena

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• By jmastro
• Posted June 5, 2008 at 1:25 pm
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It's hard isn't it? My father has small cell cancer (dx about a year ago)! I have 2 sisters (one of them lives out of state) but I am the one that is closest both emotionally and logistically! It's a nigtmare for me to watch him go through this. I know what you mean...it's almost easier just to "be there" than to wonder how they are doing and no matter what anyone says, going out to have "fun" when you know someone you love isn't feeling good or may be feeling lonely or scared just isn't possible sometimes. So far we have been prettty fortunate as my dad has been able to continue to work and enjoy life for the most part. My husband and I just bought a house that we are remodeling and this has been a great "distraction" for both me and my dad. In a weird way, it felt good to stress and worry about something that I can actually control. Hang in there!

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• By amymaura
• Posted June 5, 2008 at 1:48 pm
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Ahh, I know this feeling well. :-) I was 22 when my mom was first diagnosed with cancer and we dealt with it through my 20s.

I would say, sit down with her and tell her that it's really important to you that you can trust that she will call you when she needs you. She has already said that, but moms sometimes say that just so we don't worry. I had that conversation once with my mom. I was about to leave the country to do some volunteer work and I was worried about what would happen while I was gone. She said to me very honestly, "look, if something happens, we'll get you home." She meant it and I believed her. So I was able to leave for 6 months and everything was fine.

Your happiness is SOOO important to your mom right now. More than you probably even realize (I'm sure moms here can chime in!). It would kill her to think that you are putting your life on hold for her. Find a way to balance things. Obviously you want to be there for her and take care of her, but make sure you schedule some YOU-time. This is a very important time in your life too. You can be a great caregiver and still live your own life. It just takes some balance and planning sometimes.

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• By Sylestiahelawe03
• Posted June 6, 2008 at 1:04 am
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I've been telling you for months that you need you-time. I know that coming from me it doesn't really mean a whole lot because I dont know how it feels to be going through this with your mom. And you know if I were in the same situation I would want to do the same things that you are. But everyone is right on another thing I have been saying. You need to take care of you so that you can take care of her. If you dont make sure that you are healthy and happy then how much can you really be there for her? I love you and you know that I'm always here for you no matter what. Love you sis!

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• By easychat
• Posted June 6, 2008 at 5:10 am
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HI Kallygirl.
I just had my first treatment of Alimta, with Carbo and Avstin, on Wednesday.
I felt kind of bad yesterday, but from my past experience, it is from the Carbplatin. The Alimta or Avastin doesn't seem to bother me at all.
It is kind of strange, I had this conversation with my oldest daughter, on my treatment day.
Here is what I told her and all my children:
I am either dying with cancer or I am living with cancer. I prefer the latter.
The definition:
I am a God fearing man. He gave me this life with a will to live. I will live it to the fullest of my abilities. God has brought me this far and Blessed me with Loving people.
Glory be to God!
Thank you Jesus!
Frank

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• By CHammett
• Posted June 7, 2008 at 3:56 am
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The Alimta infusion is only about 10 minutes. It's the steriods, etc. that run it up to an hour.

As to your time away from your mother, take it!

Speaking from personal experience, I am far more concerned about my daughter than I am myself, and have been so since the beginning.

We both know I'm not going to be all right--not in the long run, but she has had terrible time adjusting to that fact, whereas I just want her to be alright, both now and later.

That's what mothers want for their daughters, and I guarantee you that's what your mother wants for you... so if you really care for her, give it to her! :-)

Carole

NSCLC IIIB Poorly differentiated squamous cell carcinoma dx 01/07.

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• By LindaFL
• Posted June 9, 2008 at 5:02 pm
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Hey Krystal,

I know EXACTLY how you feel. My mom only got diagnosed because she was very ill with a stomach virus and pneumonia. Well, before we knew anything about the cancer, I had started staying at her house with my 5 year old son (who was also sick at the time). That was about 6 weeks ago. Since then we've had the diagnosis and all the tests and are basically waiting around for the surgery date. She hasn't needed me there to 'take care of her' for at least the last month, but yet we just went back home yesterday. I just find that I dwell on things so much more when I'm at home or work than I am when I'm right there with her. I know I need my own life too (and that she WILL need me there for caretaking in a few weeks after she has surgery), but it is difficult.

Of course, I pretty much have no life anyhow as a single mother, so I'm giving up less than you as a single 24 year old! I agree with Carole and others that it weighs on the patient heavily when they feel like they are causing a child to 'give up their life.' I heard this alot from my mom back when she fought breast cancer. So, find a happy medium and take some time for yourself without feeling guilty, and know that it will make your mom happy too. And that way you can spend the time with her that you want to without her feeling guilty either.

Linda

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• By pattyp1
• Posted June 9, 2008 at 9:49 pm
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hey, Krystal,
the reason carbo takes so long is that it needs to be diluted so it won't hurt the circulatory system (blood vessels, heart, etc). Looks like Alimta is more vein-friendly.

OK - time for the older sis to talk. Life is too short to sit around being guilty. Like worry, it causes wrinkles.

Your stomach is telling you that you need to be with your mom. And yet there is this sweet young man... If he is half the man you make him sound like - TALK TO HIM. I will bet he will surprise you. And I bet he knows you are torn. Make absolutely sure he knows how much you like having him in your life. If you get stressed out driving 2 hours away from mom - this might not be the right time for you to be 2 hours away from mom. And that is OK!!! Or maybe you need mom to tell you it's ok. If you all communicate, I'll bet you can come up with a lovely solution. Maybe it's watching a movie together with mom followed by a you-and-sweetie walk around the block. I believe he will surprise you if you ask for his help in finding a solution. Ditto with the talk you need to have with mom.

Don't let this situation stress you more than absolutely necessary. And I wish you tons of joy and peace with your sweetie!

sending hugs
Pat

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• By kallygirlie
• Posted June 9, 2008 at 10:42 pm
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Thanks so much everyone. I guess right now my issue is that my mom is so weak from lack of nutrition. I've been tryin to get ahold of the doc to talk about a feeding tube because she's wasting away right now. he knows how torn I am and It boggles my mind with how much he understands. i couldnt ask for a better boyfriend right now. He's been standing at the forefront of this battle holding me up. I just wanted to thank every one of you for your advice. it means so much

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