A story of healing

My heart is full of joy. The experience of having lung cancer and overcoming it has been a spiritual one. The tumour was found two year ago and I refused to have anything done because all tests were inconclusive and I had just had surgery for a gangrenous appendix. Looking back I was in complete denial. They kept me in hospital to do all the tests but let me out for a job interview! I got the job. I was scanned for two years and finally the tumour started to grow 1.8cm July 09 and was hot on the PET. I was shocked because I had decided it was benign. I read Bernie Siegel's book 'Love Medicine and Miracles' and discovered how healing this experience was going to be no matter what the outcome. He said that nearly all cancer patients have suffered a loss within 18 months of a tumour being found. I was astounded I had written down lists of losses. I then read that the only healing power is LOVE letting LOVE in and giving it out and I realised that I had closed my heart for risk of being hurt again, I had built a barrier around my heart so there was no flow of love. It was no surprise that the tumour was in my left upper lobe over my heart. I was in desperate need of healing, and cancer was not the cause of my aching heart and loneliness. The healing began with the outpouring of love and prayers from friends and family and gradually my heart started to melt. So many people cared and loved me. I knew that the final part of this healing would be the removal of the tumour from over my heart and so it has been. The day after the lobectomy my heart was palpitating it felt like a baby bird finding its wings. Loving has always been my gift but loving myself and knowing that I am loved has always been hard. That is no longer the case. My life has changed for ever and i thank God who is LOVE and look forward to leaving this life one day to live in love forever.