I just turned 40. My family & friends tease me about all the aging things. None of those bother me, but what does, is knowing I'm turning 40 & hit that plateau of knowing I am one step closer to knowing I will never have children. I started trying when I was 24. My (now ex) husband and I tried for 6 years. He had low motility. My eggs didn't mature to the appropriate size on their own and my lining didn't stay a good enough environment for long enough to sustain a pregnancy. We finally decided to adopt. WE were all the way to interviewing perspective mothers when I said "what the heck am I doing. We don't even love each other anymore." We split up, divorced. I found a wonderful man who didn't want to do any treatments, but if we had kids, we did, if we didn't, we didn't. We never have. My ex has 2 kids with his new wife. I try to tell myself I'm OK. I can live without kids. But it hurts so much. Turning 40 feels like the final nail in my dreams. I'm that Aunt that obsesses over her nephews and nieces and great nephews and nieces because she doesn't have kids. I feel crazy sometimes.