For each and every one of us who has had to hear "you've got cancer", we know first hand the feeling of shock that runs completely through your body. There are no words to describe this feeling. We know how quickly the brain starts throwing all the thoughts that follow. What happens next? Will I die? Will I be able to beat this? Will I lose my hair? These and so many other thoughts will run though our minds and hearts for so many days to follow. It is equally difficult as a family member to hear that this is happening to someone they love. Although they themselves are not about to do battle with this illness (yes I prefer to call it an illness and not a disease because that's what I feel it is) they have no idea what the final outcome is going to be. Yes we are all afraid, and yes we are all nervous. Some friends and family members are going to shy away from us. Not because they don't want to be near us, but because they have no idea of what to do for us. Then there are those who will want to show you support but will managed to say things to you without even thinking clearly as to what they just said. Sometimes you will look at them as though they have two heads and will not believe the stupid remark they just said to you. Believe me, there are those that are that callous, and there are those that want to be so supportive that sometimes they just can't seem to find the right words to express this to you. Or perhaps they meant for them to come out a different way than you perceived them. It's frustrating to both parties, but the wiser person will understand where they are coming from. I refused to acknowledge my cancer as a death sentence, and in doing so I joked and made light of it. Some people couldn't understand how I could laugh at what was happening to me, and I simply said, "Why not?" I wasn't about to make it any more difficult than it had to be. I think that helped my family and friends to relax around me and not be so afraid, and that helped me to relax and handle my illness better. So for any of you who've been dealt this card and have had someone say what seemed to be the wrong thing at the wrong time, (there will always be the exception to this rule of course) understand this, once the words are out of their mouths, they will have realized how wrong they sounded and will be even more sorry for having said them than you will be of hearing them. Just smile. Don't get angry, it's not worth it. They won't know what is okay to talk about with you. They'll want to understand how you are feeling and unless you talk freely with them, they will continue to be afraid of spending time with you. There is great therapy in talking about it. Both for you as well as them. Rise up to it. It is empowering to your soul to be such a warrior. Yes there will be days that you just don't have it in you, but for those days that you do, share the emotions, share the love, hold close to you all that is important. Your strength and ability to talk and share your experience with people will inspire them.