I'm so grateful for my remission as well as my friends and family who support me each day and for the most part, I'm happy. However, I'm grappling with returning to work. I can't seem to find my legs (so to speak). I think some of it is the weight gain. However, I think deep down the biggest part is losing control, the feeling of helplessness I felt over my own body when I became ill. It made me feel like I was powerless over everything in my life.
How do you get past it? How do you run a company when you are so rattled? Do you get past it? And how do you return to face some of the people who you thought were your friends, both professionally and personally, when they just fell off the planet?
I don't feel angry with them, I feel hurt by their actions. It's not about forgiveness. I think it's about trust, knowing that your friends will be there no matter what happens.
I feel awful to even share these feelings with the group because everyone of us at some point is battling for their life and this seems so trivial. However, my career and friends were/are a big part of my identity.
Anyone else in this place, experiencing similar feelings?