Positive things about IF...

I've been so negative this week and posted so many negative things...I think it's time I try to look at the brighter side and see if I can find things that are positive/good about going through the IF battle:

1. I've had more time to do special things with just my husband and I, more time to bond. I don't think we'd be as close if we had had a baby right away. I'm thankful that our IF has made us stronger, rather than driving us apart. I don't know what I'd do without him.

2. I've truly learned the difference between a "friend" and an "acquaintance". That could be looked at as a bad thing, but it's taught me that all "friendships" aren't as deep and meaningful as you think, and I've learned to rely on myself, my husband, and God more that I would if I hadn't gone through this and had "friends" bail.

3. I've learned that "family" doesn't have to include children. I've learned that a "family" holiday can be happily celebrated by just my husband and I, or with extended family, and that children are not a necessity to enjoying those holidays.

4. I've learned that "family" can include people not related by blood but by shared experiences and situations.

5. I've discovered that I am stronger than I originally thought. Well, that's not true. I've discovered that I am just as weak as I always thought I was, but God has shown that He is stronger than I've ever chosen to see and He will always provide me with strength when I need it.

6. I've learned to find happiness and a reason to smile about the smaller things in life, whether it be a beautiful bird, a gorgeous fall day, an idyllic sunrise/sunset, or the calm a blazing fire brings (as long as it's in the fireplace, of course!).

7. I've learned that my purpose in life does not rely on whether I have children or not. I haven't discovered what my purpose is yet, other than to seek God's will and live in His way each day. That's a pretty powerful purpose, if you ask me. If I look at it that way (which I so often fail to do), our IF seems like a mere bump in the road.

8. I've often lamented our IF: "I'm so young; I shouldn't have to go through this." Wait a minute - I'm glad I'm so young and going through this. The wisdom and faith I gain throughout this difficult time does not last for a season - it is a wealth that will last my entire lifetime.

9. I've learned to listen to my heart. So often I would breeze through life just letting whatever happened to me happen. Now I can see there are many, many things about this life I can't control, including IF, but there are things I can control - how long I dwell on it, how I deal with it, what I do to combat it. It reaches into other areas of my life as well. As a result, I'm learning to fine-tune my mind to listen to my heart. I know myself better as a result.

9. I have not conquered this one yet, but I know that someday I will - I know that my femininity and womanhood is not defined by my ability to get pregnant or have a child. I am a woman because that is how God made me. Regardless of any physical ailments, I am a woman, and I am wonderfully made!

10. Scars add strength, character, and beauty. I was thinking about this a couple of days ago, because I have long lamented the ugly scars from my laparoscopy. I got to thinking - hey, wait a minute. If I didn't have those scars, I probably wouldn't have been through all I've been through, and I would not be the person that I am today. So, dang it, I am THANKFUL for those scars!

Wow, this is really therapeutic. Even more so than venting about everything that is "wrong" with my life.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to see the good through the bad. Help me to see it every day.