sad day

Started my period yesterday and its been nothing but water works. This was my 4th IUI and I had 6 good folicles. Unexplained and not knowing why it's so hard. I had hoped one would take .... I felt this would be a turning point and although I have two cycles left I feel hopeless. Deep down I know I will never conceive and that scares me. I don't understand why I have to run this race ... I have a wonderful supportive husband .... A wonderful man that would be a great father. I feel so guilty to be the problem. I read a lot of stories on the site and my heart goes out to everyone. Such a hard path to walk...such an awful emotional rollercoaster. Married for 5 years and we bought a perfect home to raise our future family.... Today everything is meaningless ....I hate our home... I am so angry... I don't want to be around anyone .... I just want to sell our house and just let things be. Perhaps we can pursue adoption one day or even consider IVF .... who knows...I am just sad and disappointed to be the one dealing with infertility. It's sad how life can change ....

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7 replies. Join the discussion

oh, i am so sorry. I know it is so hard and it sucks. hugs to you!!

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<<<HUGS>>> Be good to yourself, you deserve it.

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I'm so sorry. The continued disappointment that comes with IF is such an uphill battle- how do we all do it? Sending you love and hugs <3. I understand where you're coming from and it's awful and unfair.

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I've been there. Been angry. Hurt. Confused. Frustrated. Everything is in order, ready for that baby, that family, to come into your life. All the ducks are in a row, everything is in order, and it just doesn't work out. Why? Why so much heartache?

People want to make you feel better, with their five kids in tow, and it just feels like a mockery. Can you really understand how horrible it is to be denied this? Can you understand the frustration of having no control over such a basic part of life - starting a family? Infertility is a lonely place to be and everywhere we are reminded of what we don't have.

I know what it feels, to have this sense that it will never work. But how can I possibly listen? No, I must put myself through the works, to have done all I can, to give in to his feeling of impending failure. It is the great battle - to hope, to keep going, to risk heartache, or to finally concede.

I know when I have been angry and hurt, I've just wanted someone else to feel angry with me. I wanted someone to punch the wall with me more than I wanted someone to pat me on the shoulder and say everything is going to be okay. So I hope you can feel that I understand you. I'm sorry for your anger and heartache. I know how you feel and I know the greatest question in your mind - WHY!? I wish you the best.

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Sorry to hear. I'm feeling it all with you...5th IUI was a failure...unexplained IF....feel like a failure. All I can offer are ((((HUGS))))

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I understand what you are feeling. No words but sending you support and empathy. Hugs.

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Thank you for taking the time to respond! I hate the emotional roller coaster ride! I know we ALL have to be strong and make the best of what we have.... ((HUGS)) and again THANK YOU!!!!! :)

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