No orgasm for three and a half months?

Hi, all --

Once again, I'd like a reality check for what my RE's office recommends.

They say no BD, no orgasm after ET -- and if it results in a BFP, then no orgasm for the entire first trimester.

I understand they want to be cautious. But seriously, do I want a baby this much? Someone else just posted a separate discussion about involuntary orgasms during sleep -- I can see how that would happen!

So what you y'all think?

Alex

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18 replies. Join the discussion

Yeah and another dumb thing REs say...wait..wrong post... :D
Pretty sure fertiles are NOT told to avoid orgasms for 3.5 months.

It does strike me as hilarious that orgasms get some people pregnant and supposedly interfere with others getting/staying that way. Where was I when teams were picked on that one?!

Toni

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Just wait and see if you even feel like having sex for the first 3 months. :) As for orgasms in your sleep... it would seem a side effect of pg is some racy dreams. You can't help your subconscious right. I think perhaps the RE is being too cautious. Usually the no sex thing is for people with multiple m/c.
Nicole

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Toni and Nicole --

And also, can I just say that if men went through this rather than women, they would have already invented a way to have the medication spoon-fed to you by a scantily dressed Swedish nurse, and there would be no three-month prohibition on orgasms.

I mean, come on. Pun intended.

Alex

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Great job, Alex! My afternoon tea is now on my sweater thanks to your chortle-inducing posts...cut it out! (Please don't I'll just bring a bib to work.)

Toni

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Well, I was one of those pg people who was totally uninterested during the first three months - tired, and so so sick. But Toni and Nicole are totally right, fertiles aren't told about this. In fact, my first prenatal appointment wasn't until 7 weeks - by then, IVF'ers have had multiple beta's and probably a u/s. I think this is one of those things where there's NO science to back it up, but it seems logical to some people that it could be a problem, so they tell you "just to be safe." I agree it's overly cautious, if you are lucky enough to have an orgasm I say, enjoy it! and don't for a second think you are hurting anything. One of my pregnancy books said that orgasm causes the baby to get an extra rush of blood and good hormones, so maybe it's good for them and when somebody finally does do a study they'll start telling us to have at least 3 a week - who knows.

As for the orgasms while sleeping all I can say is dude! I want one!

-LauraK

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No orgasms for 3 months...hummm...try no orgasms for the whole 9 months!!! I have been told by the RE that once we get a sticker we ( I mean me!!!) are not allowed to orgasm for the whole pregnancy cause of my history of m/c. I have a high drive so this is gonna be so much torture....but I really want it so I will grin and bare it....lol

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Toni-
If men had to do this we would know how to grow babies in jars by now!
Nicole

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I've been told the same thing by my clinic and it sounds a little crazy to me. The good times never end for us women, huh? ;)

Kate

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I would not do it. I had a postive beta 5,222 and I had bd and o'd and began bleeding, I lost the pregnancy some time after that. Yes I know that may have been a fluke but the RE was extremely surprised that happened since I was not on a restriction, and that was my 3rd mc. The next time I get a postive beta I will be on restriction.

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I was on restriction until the u/s IIRC. I would be cautious, like nothing rough, but I don't think it's necessary to go on complete pelvic rest for months unless you have a uterine abnormality.

MENTS
That said, I have done complete pelvic rest for the third trimester of both of my successful pregnancies, because I go into preterm labor.
MENTS OVER

So, it can be done, but it sucks.

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I would caution you to be as careful as you can. Also, if you have any bleeding in your pg, they will take sex away pronto.

Just remember you are out for a healthy baby- follow the recommendations from ET on and then talk to your OB. I know it sounds crazy, but I would rather err on the side of caution than take a chance.

MENTS****

I lost my baby at 20 weeks- DH and I did not BD from the day before ET all the way until six weeks after my loss. I was incredibly high risk and started bleeding from 5 weeks. If you aren't having issues like that, sex isn't a problem (like the other posters said- fertiles are not told this) and usually doctors won't caution you against it. I think your RE is being overly cautious, but considering the circumstances (of ART in general) I wouldn't say it's a terrible idea.

Good luck to you.

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Alex,
I was told we could start back up once they found fetal heartbeat.So for DH and I,that will be next week.Our RE doesn't hold to a lot of the "restrictions" that other re's hold to.I asked about the no/yes sex issue-the only way he would suggest a break would be if I was bleeding/cramping.
Kim

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Didn't have the time to read anyone else's replies, but just to let you know, I'm in month 4, and my ob/gyn says no orgasm until the third trimester.

Marnie

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***Ments***
I'm currently 11wk and my OB said no BD or orgasm. I asked if it was just for the first trimester and he said at least 12-16 weeks. His rationale is that humans are the only species that BD after getting pregnant, so isn't there something that the animal kingdom knows that we don't? I go back next week and hope that I'll be able to! I'm totally randy, would love to do it and I've had BD dreams! But on the other hand, the thought of losing this pg and starting over with another IVF cycle is enough to keep my clothes on!

- Lisa Z

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Wow, that seems excessive. Do you have any other risk factors? My RE advised no orgasm for 4 days post ET. Maybe we need a whole separate topic area for women suffering through this!

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What does BD stand for, anyways? I just had my first orgasm after 3 months of forbearance. Wow was that ever fun. Better safe than sorry, right? I just didn't want the munchkin to come unstuck, which might happen if there is an earthquake going on all around him/her, right? My RE didn't specifically say no orgasm, but my gut told me to hold off. I didn't spend 30K to have this pregnancy go wrong. In any case - the progesterone suppositories were enough to make anyone swear off sex - very messy and irritating to cervix. I'm off those as of today - so HELLO AGAIN, SEX LIFE! Also my DH read in my horoscope for 2009 that I'm going to have a sizzling sex life this year. Probably made it up as a hint....

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BD stands for baby dance. Have fun in 2009 -- you go, girl!

Alex

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Baby dance! No wonder I couldn't guess. I'm usually not thinking about babies when we're doing the baby dance.

Have a baby-filled and baby-dancing filled 2009, Ay Caramba!

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