May have new Hope

I have not been on here in a while because after adopting my DS a lot of feelings about my infertility have subsided. I'm not saying disappeared, just not so all consuming. We just completed our homestudy for adoption #2 and should be on the official waiting list at the beginning of March.

In the last 6 months, they think that they have "fixed" my DH's fertility issues; there were some severe environmental factors that have been eliminated. So I went to the doctor this week feeling like I am the defective one. She gave me something new to try. She gave me no stats or false hope; just that a side effect of this medication is better fertility.

A few weeks ago, my DH and I were out on a date night, and he made a comment that has stuck with me. He said, "You are so beautiful, it is ashame we are not going to get to pass that on." I wanted to start crying right then and there. I still want that biological aspect. Don't get me wrong, I love my DS with all my heart, but when I take him out, people say, "Oh, he must look like his daddy." I just smile and say that he does have blue eyes just like his daddy.

I feel terrible for even feeling this way. Damn this condition! We are not meant to have to go through this.

Your thoughts? Feelings? Suggestions?

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Hopefully you get your wish sweetie but if you don't dont read to much into people's comments. All my miracle babies look like daddy. My best friend is a male and when we have the kids out at least a dozen people made comment like oh your son looks just like you, and he isn't the dad lol. I have blond hair a heart shaped face and white white white skin.
My kids thick dark hair lingers thin faces darker skin and tall just like dad.

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Congratulations on new hope - that is wonderful! Isabella28 just posted a link to a huffingtonpost article by a guy who describes his IF journey, he made a wonderful point about adoption that may be nice for you to hear given your post. he was listing the things not to say to an IF couple, and listed "You can always adopt." as one. Then he goes on to write, "For the record, that last one shouldn't be mentioned, because adoption is not a solution to infertility. It is a solution to wanting to be a parent."

I like that because it really validates that IF is a disease, it doesn't just go away with parenthood, it is a part of who we are. It doesn't have to kill us, though it can feel that way and just because some gain children or go on childless, we are all still IF.

Best of luck in your future. :)

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For what it's worth, I know of a couple whose biological child looks very little like either of them. They both have brown hair/brown eyes and a tan skin tone. Their first child has blond hair/blue eyes and light skin. Apparently she looks like daddy's mom. She is biological but looks like she might be adopted. I guess you never know!

Best wishes working through your emotions. This is a tough place to be.

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Your post is marked "public", you may wish to change to members only.

For now, I will say is "Amen sister!"... IF scars don't go away, darnit.

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