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I had 6 IUI, 1 IVF my doctors said that I have unexplain infertility, I am seeing all my friends getting pregnant. I am happy for them but it hurts to see them pregnant an only talk about it? Please help me I am very sad.
I know exactly how you feel - so alone in this fertile world. My good friendcoworker and acupuncturist got pregnant her 1st month trying and it was devastating for us. I truly hit rock bottom after that news - which lead me to see a therapist - one of the best decisions I have made in these 4 long years! It helps to get that outside perspective from someone who is neutral & is truly educated in helping people deal with life crises! It's OK to sometimes distance yourself from your pregnant friends - maybe just send out an email explaining that you love them but need some time. A great book is "Navigating the Land of IF" by Melissa Ford.
Sorry to hear that you are sad. You are not alone in feeling that way. I'm struggling with it too and think that I have just lost a friend for good because I couldn't deal with her pregnancy (and honestly, she couldn't deal with my IF).
There are no easy answers, you just have to deal with it the best way you can. My way of feeling better is to think about the things that I can do without children that my friends can't (staying in bed until 10am on Sat morning is one good example!). Take care, and good luck for the future. Harriet
Thank you. Your words helped me in a hard day. I am looking forward to find the book, and thank you Harret I never thought about thinking on things I can do without children that my friends can't.
I am sorry you lost a friend because of IF hope you other friends understand what you are going through
Gladys
You are not alone. I know exactly how you feel. I have been trying to get pregnant for two years and in the past year, three close friends have gotten pregnant. It is the hardest thing to go through. You want to be happy for them but at the same time, it feels so unfair that it's not happening to you. Hang in there...
I just wrote a VERY similar post yesterday so I know exactly how you feel. After my failed IVF, two of my closest friends told me that they were pregnant. They told me separately, but within 24 hours of each other. I found all the right congratulatory words, but I came home and balled my eyes out. Then I felt like a mean, nasty, jealous person for crying in the midst of their joy. I was especially upset that my one very good friend said that she didn't know how to tell me because of my 'issues'. It made me feel broken and pitied. So please know that you are not alone. Some other girls on this site helped me to understand that with their responses. As we try to maintain our lives and friendships admist our personal hardships, I will send my thoughts and prayers your way.
We have had 4 IUIs (diagnosed as "unexplained" or "tubal") and 1 IVF.
I stopped the IUIs when my body stopped responding to the meds. I mean nothing was happening.
Scheduled for IVF in Feb and was excited/nervous. Neighbors (knew what we were going through) bee-bopped over to our house the day we got home from vacation only to report they were 6 weeks preg--and it was unplanned. I shut down and withdrew from everyone.
Had a successful IVF procedure and saw the hb at 7 weeks. went in for our 11wk scan and learned we had mc at 8wks. DEVASTATED. I had been unknowingly carrying around our deceased embryo for 3 weeks. Then, I had to carry around our deceased embryo for 5 days (between finding out we had mc and the actual D&C) knowing it had passed while folks that had just learning of our pregnancy were coming up and congratulating us. This did a lot of psychological damage. I felt as though I couldn't move on until the D&C...even then with the side effects it was about 2 weeks before it was "final." All the while I am going through this, I have insensitive neighbors showing off their growing belly.
2 weeks after the mc we lost our 4 legged child--this pushed me further and further into depression. After the mc, I knew I needed to see someone so I made an appt with a counselor that is trained in grief/family planning/etc. BEST THING THAT I HAVER EVER DONE!!! When I am beating myself up for our loss (since I am the one with the issues) she helps me realize that I have a disability. I have been labeled as "dramatic" and "irrational" because I do not want to be around pregnant women or children and I do not want to learn of everyone that is preg or trying. She helps me to realize that I am still grieving our losses.
Infertility sucks....it creates so much anxiety, fear. we are scheduled for our FET next week...and I am wound up so tight and my guard is definitely up. I can take physical pain but the emotional pain is so debilitating....
You are not alone in your sadness.
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