Anorexia-so far so good!

• By husband
• Reply 387149
• May 14, 2009 at 4:57 pm
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I am happy to hear that you are in recovery. My wife is 53 and has been battling this since age 12 when she spent 3 months in the hospital. She has been hospitalized several times since. When we married 15 years ago, she was about 85 lbs, got better and became a size 4...then a size 2...then a size 0. She was hospitalized again in an Eating Disorder Center about a year ago...they kicked her out for non-compliance. Since then, she has developed two permanent and degenerative conditions related to Anorexia.
She continues to suffer from Dysmorphic thinking, convinced that she can handle this, equally convinced that everyone who loves her is critical, unsupportive, and disapproving. That she is alone, and no longer wants to discuss this issue with anyone. Proclaiming to her doctors and all of us that she would, "Rather die than gain a pound" To her there are two choices...struggle with the physical limitations of her low weight and be able to retain complete control over her diet, or suffer unbearable emotional and mental torture to please everyone else.
She has lots of love and support available and children and grandchildren she dearly loves. I guess my question is, what was the catalyst for you? How did you end the nightmare for yourself?

• By becjo
• Reply 387277 · In reply to 387149 by husband
• May 14, 2009 at 6:52 pm
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What ended my nightmare for me? For me it was being rushed to emergency room by my son with extreme pain (kidney stones) and high fever (kidney infection). He was very scared and then in the hospital room where my doctor told me that I was going to stay in the hospital til my fever broke; then he looked me in the eye and asked me "do you want to see your kids graduate high schoo because if you do, you will not make it on the road I was on". Then the very last thing was when my daughter came to see me and started to cry, because she was so afraid I was going to die!
I knew then I had to make changes and only I could do it. But I had a supportive family and a boyfriend who now is my husband,that helped me work through so many issues. It was a long process and I still struggle with my very distorted body image to this day.
If you do not mind me asking; when your wife went into treatment; did they just jam an IV in her and told her to deal with it? If they did, this is not the best way to deal with anorexia; because your wife needs the emotional and mental couseling-one on one and private. Is the anorexia starting to cause trouble with her heart and kidneys? Are there any pictures of her at her healthiest and then her lowest; if so, does she ever look at them? How does she react to them?
Was her mom, sister, or other family members anorexic or bulimic? It seems to run in families.
There is a anorexia treatment place I think in Canada that is run by mother(both of her girls had an eating disorder) that has found one on one couseling with 24 hr couselor has worked really well for patients like your wife.
Do not give up on her! Please talk to me anytime and I will do what I can. Take care and God Bless!

• By husband
• Reply 387481
• May 14, 2009 at 11:08 pm
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becjo:

Yes, my wife's grandfather was anorexic. Her daughter has had bouts with Bulimia. No they didn't stick in tubes during her treatment, it was a residential program that included nutritionists, group therapy, and medical doctors. She currently sees a therapist one on one and a pyschiatrist, and internist, a uroligist, an opthamologist, and a gyn. I'm not giving up and she has lots of support. I don't know if our insurance will cover Canadian Treatment and I'm quite sure she will not agree to go even if it does.

Her children have appeared at her bedside (as you described happened to you) more than once in her past in tears...ultimately no change. She feels that she is in control, that she is "stronger than she looks" and that we need to back off and let her live her life the way she wants to live it.
She feels that after all these years, she is Anorexia Nervosa and it is too hardwired in her pysche to ever be removed or overcome.
We have had a "life choice talk" not unlike a terminal cancer patient who wants to refuse more Chemotherapy. I fear that this will be our course now..not the quick peaceful passing that people imagine, but a slow diminishing coupled with ever increasing chronic health problems until her body can take no more.
I appreciate your support and response. Thank you for your advise and honesty. I will continue to be supportive and remain hopeful that something will change.