one day at a time

i have decided to approach my weight loss, improved health goal the same way i approached my addiction. i am going to use the 12 steps and God's Grace to get my eating under control and enhance my internal motivation. And to be perfectly honest, it is working. For the first time ever, I feel the desire and the will to fight with my own ego on a level of the soul to win back my body. i don't want to turn into someone with a whole host of medical problems all easily avoided with some determination. I don't want that any more than i wanted to spend my life as a junkie. But it is so important that i maintain a handle on my compulsions, that i be totally honest with myself and that i take the suggestions of others. And I know i cannot do it alone, nor do i have to.
to people who have not been through what i have been through, turning to God or a Higher power may seem like a cop out. And i maintain that i will not become religious in any way, but i will make the decision to turn my will and life over.
on this journey, i have been given the gift of a clear mind, a forgiving soul, and soaring spirit. All i need is a healthy body. and i am on my way.
i am not feeling overly excited or 'Gung Ho', just content that i have made the right choice. And all my attempts at weight loss in the past have been the former. So i know this time is different.
i hope that if anyone reads this, they get the message that there is hope. that there is no habit or addiction or problem that is more powerful than the mind that created it, we just sometimes need a little help yielding our own power. And oftentimes, yielding ones own power means surrendering it to One more capable.
i am enjoying the journey and i will enjoy the result... whatever it may be. Because i know i am doing the right things, the result will ALWAYS be right, even if unexpected.