Hi, my partner has been addicted to Smack for the last 2 years. He has taken most drugs when he was younger and smokes weed but is a good man who holds down a job and loves his family. Unfortunately he has an 'addictive personality' and about 2 years ago he started smoking Smack and quickly became addicted. Most of his friends take drugs of some type (speed, smack, coke, weed). I knew something wasn't right and he finally admitted it. I have been through at least half a dozen 'rattles' with him where he has been in bed for 3-4 days but he has always gone back on the Smack. We now have a 12 week old daughter and he has gone to the doctors and is now taking Subitex which has got him off the Smack but then he will need to come off them. He doesn't seem to understand how all this has effected me and doesn't think I have the right to be angry with him. I have supported him all the way and researched Smack and its effects etc so I could understand the problems but he just seems to think it is his problem and that I shouldn't be upset or expect anything from him. When he is feeling guilty he will apologise etc but the rest of the time he just does what he wants and seems to think I should just accept it. If we have a row about anything he always says it is because I want to have a go at him to 'get my own back' but that isn't the case. He also drinks too much (about 6litres of cider a night). When he was on the Smack it cut his drinking down but now he is going back to how he was before and this is causing problems too. Anyone with any similar experiences who can give me some advice.
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Partner of drug user
- By Kaz1966
- Posted July 28, 2009 at 11:39 am · 2 replies
- In Helping someone who abuses drugs
- Shared with the public
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- By Minnie141906
- Posted July 31, 2009 at 5:07 pm
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You have every right to be angry, but be angry with the addiction not at the man. You are a strong person for dealing with this for so long.
My cousin is an addict and she has children, (15 months and a 5 y.o) She doesn't change the children's dipaers, she doesn't work, she doesn't clean she just parties. She doesn't think she has a problem and she has cheated on her husband many times, because her drug buddies put it into her head that she shouldn't be married to her husband.
Her husband is a hard working church going man, and takes care of all his children. There are meetings for parners of drug users, (al anon meetings I think). I love my cousin but her addiction is making it hard, she rufuses to get any kind of help. She believes that she can handle her addiction. But everyone see what a mess she's making.
You have to give him some tough love. Make life "difficult" to the point where he wants to change. Right now he knows if he cries, and says he's sorry, he can continue to use.
But if you tell him if you do drugs you can't see your daughter, or live here any more. That might change him. Relapse is apart of recovery but he doesn't have to hit rock bottom to get help. Create that rock bottom for him. Make his life so uncomfortalbe to get that drug. I hope I don't sound mean or angry but I've dealt with my own addiction and seeing what I've put my family through as well as my family members and their addictions.
Get the support of your family and make this a family affair. Have an intervention and list your bottom line. "If you don't get help then I won't do..." Or If you don't get help then I will ..."
I hope I don't sound preachy I have been where you been both as an addict and then as a partner of an addict.
God Bless you and I'll keep you in my prayers. You will survive this. :)
- By escalantedreamer
- Posted November 2, 2009 at 6:36 pm
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Hey,
I can only wish you the best and say tht you are his one hope. That may sound like a good thing but for an addict as long as they have that one hope they will continue to use. The one hope is "I must not be to much of shit... I still have her?" or "I still have a job I couldn't be that bad" or " I will loose everything but when I loose her I know I'm in real trouble then" .
AS Long as you are ahope in his life he will use ... and the getting mad is just pure bull sh..t he gets mad to avoid the guilty feelings and the anger you should have for what he's putting you through.
You have a baby. That is who you have to be respocible for not him ... an addict will sell the milk from that babies bottle if he needs it for his next fix.
Get that baby away so all three of you can live
Rick
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