my struggle with drugs

hello im amanda 23 year old female from new orleans louisiana..my struggle with drugs...omg where do i start..when i was a young baby my farther died from a heroin over dose..so all my life i hated him for this cause he didnt see his lil girl grow..as a teenager i started smokin pot but i always said it would never go any further..well that was a lie but the time i was 18 i was takin 5 extacy pills aday it seems like all these years pased and i didnt even live ...so my friend introduced me to heroin..one time was all it took i was hooked. iwent from something to nothin in a matter of 3 weeks.. my family didnt kno where i was then they asked what did they do so wrong...it wasnt them it was me i robbed people to get the money ..sold my body..stole out of stores and belive me this wasnt me at all..so after4 years of being hooked on this powerful drug i was stuck and couldnt leave it alone..it had me at hello..if i tried to quit id suffer the most horrible pain ive ever felt in my life..i needed help..but i wasnt ready to be helped..sooneday i didn have anymoney and i was tired of sellin my body...i robbed the wrong perosn..a big time drug dealer in new orleans he found out it was me and sent a hit out...one month later i was layin on my back and couldnt feel my legs..he shot me...as i lay there wondering is this how im ganna die..my friends yellin amanda dont die!...im sayin to my self amanda dont die?! am i? was this worth it?...3 months later i hadnt had enough im released from rehab and i feel the need to get high cause im dealin with all this shit ...im paralyzed waist down my ol man left me cause of this...so i hit the street again this time doin any drug i can get my hands on fuck it i dont wanna live...i tried to kill my self everyday but it didnt work i thought if i shot 200$ worth of heroin id die..i had no luck at this god wasnt ready for me...i lived homeless for 2 months on the street n my wheelchair sellin drugs stealin from store baggin people i didn even kno for money i was out there so bad ..so i got worse i started smokin crack...there is nothing worse than crack the things ive done for this drug im so ashamed of.i ended up with a stage 4 bed sore and sepsis stayed in the hospital 4 months and ssaid fuck this shit no drug will run my life again...but it did i went back again i was tired of this life in a chair people lookin at me like im slow like im not normal..so i admited my self in a nurshing home said to my self im better than this im a fighter i always have been ..stayed there for a year ...such a wonderful experience now as of today i been clean 11 mothns 2 weeks and 4 days and im still strong..so if u kno someone with a rug habit PLEASE HELP THEM stick by there side and dont give up on them they need you