Hello, I'm new to this site and just found it in one of my many google quests for answers. My 17 year old son, a junior, was suspended for possession of marijuana in mid-Sept. That began a whole education for us as my husband, my son's stepdad and I explored what was going on. We had no clue.
My son began seeing a substance abuse therapist and was being assessed for either inpatient treatment or IOP (intensive outpatient). Beginning in mid-Sept. he was drug tested by either my husband & I or the clinic where he was receiving treatment. He went two months without being able to pass one urine test. During that time I found him with drugs, caught him getting high, he vandalized our personal property, he's stolen money from us and his brother. He's unable to drive our car, I've called the police on him, I've called the school because I'm worried that he took drugs there, I've been attending AA meetings, everyone in our family is seeking treatment to better understand what's going on. My son's father, my ex-husband, hasn't been in the picture. At all.
24 hours before my son was to be admitted into an inpatient program (following the recommendation from his therapist) his father came in and said that our son didn't have a problem with drugs, he was using because of me. My son is now living with his dad, furious with me, not in treatment, using alcohol, belligerent and angry. It seems as if there is nothing my husband and I can do.
My question: is it advisable that we talk to an attorney? My ex-husband is not doing anything. My son needs help. What can I do?
Thanks
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Long rant, ends w/ a question teenage son addict
- By dbl
- Posted December 3, 2008 at 10:15 am · 10 replies
- In Helping someone who abuses drugs
- Shared with the public
10 replies
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- Newest first
- By TomiAnne
- Posted February 7, 2009 at 12:37 am
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Hello dbl. My name is Tomi. I have a 16 yr. old son who is a major drug user; however, we didn't really realize it until he was put on probation for a crime he and some friends had done. It turns out that he has had a problem with these drugs for that past 3 yrs. . He is now a sophmore in high school and because of all the times he has skipped classes and not shown up and being suspended, he has no credits. The bad part is that he doesn't care. His drugs are more important. I filed an "At risk youth" petition and so now we are dealing with this. I'm so scarred and confused that I'm not sure where to go from here. If you want to talk I would sure listen. Lets get in touch. I think I know how you feel. I hope to talk with you soon. Tomi
- By dbl
- Posted February 7, 2009 at 9:26 am
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Hi Tomi,
Thanks for your reply. Does your son live with you? My son will be going to court in less than a month to face his charges made in Sept. when he was suspended. It seems that he will not be able to avoid treatment, it's standard for juveniles in our area that have a drug offense.
Does your son live with you?
- By TomiAnne
- Posted February 7, 2009 at 3:13 pm
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Hello, how are you doing today? Yes my son does live with me, at least when he takes off for days to weeks and goes and stays with his friends. I think he comes home to clean up and get some good food to eat. He has been good lately and staying home and having a good attitude with the people around him. It's times like this that I think that maybe he isn't on drugs and then before I can say anything he turns around and goes that same old way. Yesterday was his 3rd. time in court. He got a little harsher sentence but not near enough. After all this trouble people say that maybe I should let him go. Would you beable to do that? I don't have a lot friends to hang out with and that makes things really hard, that's why I got involved with inspire. People here probably have an idea of what it's like and I won't feel so all alone. have you tried an "at risk youth petition"? You are the one taking him to court and the ex can't do a thing about it. In fact if the judge sees how the father is handleing this, they might do something about that. Don't quote me though, The law is a lot different than I ever thought it would be. Good luck and let me know how it goes. Tomi
- By dbl
- Posted February 7, 2009 at 3:43 pm
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What is an 'at risk petition thingy'? Are you able to have your son placed in a residential treatment center?
From what I can understand it looks like treatment, parole, random drug testing, etc. will be a part of what my son will have to participate in once his case is heard in a few weeks.
I'm in Michigan
- By dbl
- Posted February 7, 2009 at 3:43 pm
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...one more thing. Thanks for writing! I posted this months ago and haven't heard a thing from anyone.
- By TomiAnne
- Posted February 9, 2009 at 12:09 am
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Hello, how are you doing today? I worked all day and am really tired. I work in the womens dept. at JC Penneys and we have been having great sales lately and with that comes LOTS of customers. I am very glad that I found your story here in this site. I have tried to find others myself for quite a while now to talk to and get advice on what to do with my son, but not too many people are willing to listen. Also I haven't been on a web site like this. What you will want to do for the "At risk youth" is go to or call the juvinille hall where you live. Ask them if you could have an application for an "At risk youth" petition. Fill it out and send it back. They will let you know if you have qualified or not. Now I am not positive whether michigan does this or not, but I did check on the internet and it does seem that they are performed in most states. I had gotten an app. earlier to use for cameron, but he started bieng good and I thought he was changing and we wouldn't need to go there. Never count on a drug addict. Cam was very ticked at me when he recieved court papers, but now he knows I am not fooling around. It's hard to do this, but I know someday he will be thanking me for it. Cameron is the type of kid who will totally close himself off from everyone if he doesn't want to deal with them, so I can go on forever trying to explain to him that he is just getting in more and more trouble and he would completely shut me out. That's when I decided to go on with the At risk youth. If he's not going to listen to me, maybe he will listen to the judge. He continues to break his probation, but the consequences are going to eventually get worse and worse. Until he decides that he needs to change his life, I will just sit and try to be strong. Well, check into to this and see if you can get something done. Does your son have a probation officer? If so, ask the P.O. about this also. Well, you have a good nite and I will talk at you soon. Tomi
- By TomiAnne
- Posted February 9, 2009 at 12:48 am
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Hi there, how are you doing. By the way, what name do you normally go by or should I just aknowlege you by dbl? Now, here is an idea. Go on line and google "At risk youth petition". I did that and found a lot of different ways to fileing for one. They even have some that you can file for right there on the internet. Have a good nite.
- By TomiAnne
- Posted February 9, 2009 at 9:30 pm
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Hi there, how are you doing today? I was thinking, if you want you can get a hold of me on my personal Email address. tpintler@comcast.net You can send me a note anytime.
- By TomiAnne
- Posted March 30, 2009 at 4:37 pm
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Hello there, how have you been doing? Are things going any better with your son? I'd like to say mine is getting better, but everytime I do, things go bad. Cameron has started going to AA. He has met an older member of AA and has been spending time with him. He has recieved 3 tickets for smoking and was suspended from school for going off grounds and and messing with others property; which he had to go to juvinielle for, all since I last wrote to you. Cameron is hanging out with this guy from AA though, hopefully that will make a difference. Well, please get back to me, I would love to hear how things are going. Tomi
- By JanKickingCancer
- Posted August 1, 2009 at 9:13 am
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please check out this site: canyouhearme.org
My best friend lost her daughter to drugs a hear ago at the age of 21. She does seminars and talks to high school kids. Maybe there will be someone on this site that can help you with all your very good questions. Our society is terrible when it comes to addiction. They put people down who are addicated. They have a disease that they don't have control over. Drugs takes away their freedom to think and be a productive member of society! We need to help and do everything we can to stop this monster of addiction!
Hope this site leads you to people who can help you. My son, too, has drug issues and is now getting help for himself. He's in Sober Living in Delray Beach, Fla and seems to be doing well. Clean for almost 3 months!
Write to my friend, Nancy on this site! She's an amazing women.
Jan
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