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any words of wisdom?

junaberry1
0 Recommendations

my sister from another mother whom i love with all my hart is having a hard time staying clean from crack and the lifestyle that comes with it. i don't know how to help and be supportive without enabling her and makeing light of it. i can not and will NEVER turn my back to her. i just dont know what i can do. she does voluntary o/p program(drug tested weekly). i haven't had the same experience with drugs that she has had so i really don't know what i can do or say to try and help her. she relapsed on the 4Th of July after visiting me she called me the next day and wanted to know if i was mad at her; I'm not made at her i do understand that this is something shes gonna have to fight for the rest of her life i just feel so helpless

3 replies

Sanford

If by helping her, you mean giving money or food or shelter, that's enabling. If by helping her, you mean loving her no matter what when others will have turned their backs, than you're on the right path. As a recovering addict and substance abuse counselor (with 8 1/2 years clean), I can only say you can want with all your heart for her to get clean and stay that way, but you can't make her do it. She has to be ready. Some people never go through treatment and get clean on their own, some do treatment once and get it (I did), and others have to keep trying and failing before they can succeed. It doesn't matter how many times it takes, as long as she keeps trying. No one is ever hopeless until their last breath has been taken. Until then, there is always hope.

JanKickingCancer

stay strong!
It is very hard for us to stand by and watch our loved ones go through this terrible addiction. If she told you the next morning that she used that's a great thing! Honesty is the first step towards recovery! Rehab has taught me to be cautiously optomistic! I try everyday! My son tried OP and relapsed. He went into rehab on his own! That was the best thing that could have happened to him. He did 21 days in rehab and then down to Florida to a halfway house called Sober Living, Delray Beach! So Far So Good! He's leaning everyday how to live CLEAN! He's been clean for 35 days now! yea! We live one day at a time!
Good luck! Try not to be an enabler!!! That's the hard part for us loved ones!

JanKickingCancer

Congrats on your 8 1/2 years clean! I can't wait until my son reaches that!
I, too, am trying hard not to enable! My son is finally beginning to learn honesty which is the first step towards recovery along with admitting he's an addict! Thanks for writing and giving me hope that one day he'll have his life back!
Jan

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