"What can I do for you?"

After my mastectomy, everyone asked the above question. I decided that to say "nothing" was not only a wrong answer but also deprived people of being blessed by helping to take care of me. So I decided that if anyone asked, I would think of something they could do. It was very humbling. It seemed simple enough to tell a friend she could change my bed sheets, but while she was actually in my bedroom doing it, I felt surprisingly uncomfortable. In response to another offer, I asked a friend to wash and dry my hair - because I couldn't lift my arm. When my husband had to go out of town, I asked someone to come while I took a shower by myself for the first time - just in case I got into trouble. Someone else picked me up and took me out to get a haircut. Another friend sat through chemo with me a couple of times, which gave my husband a break. These are all very personal things. And being allowed to care for someone in such a personal way is a real blessing - to both people. I have also learned that asking is most helpful when it is specific. "May I bring dinner?" or "May I take your children to school for you?" or "May I drive you to the doctor?" So I post this entry to encourage the one in need - if someone asks "what can I do for you?", give her something to do! Also, if you are the encourager, think of specific ways you can help that may be awkward for your needy friend to ask for. We're all in this together, and at some point we're all on both sides of this...needing and meeting needs. We can't do it alone. I'm so grateful that I didn't have to...and that I still don't have to now that I'm living with a chronic illness.