It's just getting so overwhelming.

Being 18 and only 7 months in having membranous nephropathy, it is hard. All of the medications seem to have stop working now. My condition has gotten even worse than when I first started. So now I'm swollen from the waist down and even my arms are a bit swollen. Its gettin harder and harder trying to hide it... I dont want anyone to know, they tend to treat me differently and im not one for handouts. I can't concentrate, im constantly tired and my emotions are goin crazy! I cant handle this and go to college at the same time. To top it off, my dad is being affected by all of this too. He has to pay for all the bills and deal with me and take care of me. Its so hard knowin that theres nothing that I can do to help him. Im tired of being sick! Im tired of havin to be SO cautious about every little germ. Its impossible to be germ free! But because my immune system is soooo low, I have to be the complete monk (no offense) but it is too much. I cant handle this. They say dont stress... but how can I not? Im 18, a first year college student, and I have a chronic kidney disease. I hate taking pills but I have 20 a day I have to take and some days 23! I finally realized that no can truely understand how YOU feel. It can be very similar but never truely the same. I just feel like Im alone. I mean I have my parents but they arent going through it... hell theyre never sick. Im the only one in my family that is ever sick. Im the only one in my family EVER to have kidney problems. I just want someone to help me through, but I have no one. And it is soo hard mentally, emotionally, and physically. Its only been 7 months and Im tired of fighting already. Shame... right?!?!