Driving through misting splatters of rain, then realize I'm all hunched up and tilted forward. Defensive posture. Tight. Take a few deep breathes and uncoil.
Trying for lighter, softer strength. Strength that allows me to dance on the edge of the fear, and gaze into its abyss . I've learned that brittle shows of bravado are short and shallow companions. Deeper lessons have shown me truer steps in this dance I do with cancer.
Smiling daughter sits compaionably in the passenger seat. We laugh and shop for her impending First year at college. My heart is on a roller coaster as we sort through all the tasks of leave taking. Joking banter, quiet philosophical talks, silence in each others company. Baking, walking, and sharing girly DVDs as packing edges closer to completion. She is my heart.
I will not cast shadows on these days. I keep cancer talk away. Far from the joy we both need to take in her beginning this part of her life.
I wonder, in the very quiet moments, how long will she have a home to come back to. And I remeber the dance and the strength. I will fight .
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getting ready
- By yesshecan
- Posted August 29, 2009 at 4:40 pm · 13 replies
- Shared with the public
2 Recommendations
