The News

Jack has always been a little behind in his developmental milestones, and fussy to boot. But lately, around the time he turned 1, his fussiness really got bad. He was very, very needy and cried most of his waking hours. We really thought that he would be all right, but wanted to make sure that he was not in pain or anything, just to make sure we could rule that out. My wife has a good contact with a developmental pediatrician, and he asked us to outline our concerns in an email, which we did. He got us in as soon as possible and did a brief evaluation of Jack. We expected to hear "He's a handful, but there is nothing physically wrong with him. You just need to be patient. He is going to need some extra time." Instead, he sat my wife and I down and proceeded to explain that Jack has very mild cerebral palsy on his right side. I could feel my face getting warm and flushed as I tried to process this information. I asked quite a few questions, but for the life of me now, four days later, I have no idea what either of us said. I made it through the consulation in one piece and walked outside and immediately broke down. I could barely make it home, and when I did, Mandy and I just held each other and cried.

All any of us want is for our child to be happy and healthy. Now, it seems like we have neither. A child who physically cannot do things other kids can do and one who is very upset about it and cries constantly. We are still trying to understand this and process what we need to do next. We have been lucky enough to get scheduled for a Physical Therapy Evaluation tomorrow at Easter Seals. I am praying that Jack can be treated so that he can enjoy a full life.

I never understood what my parents meant whenever they said "When you have your own kids, you'll understand." But now I do. I never knew the love it would take to be willing to give your own legs for your child. To give your own life him. But I feel that now. I would do anything to make Jack's life pain free and without limitations. But I know I can't do that. And that realization and this empty feeling in my stomach of uncertainty and sadness is literally consuming me right now.

I pray that Jack's condition is as mild as our doctor led us to believe, and that he can make great improvements through therapy. I pray for strength and guidance and wisdom to help my family through this. Please give us your thoughts and prayers too.