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My son is 16 and has AML. He is currently undergoing chemo. We are dealing with so many emotional issues. He keeps saying that God gave him cancer. He is more rebellious. He says that if it comes back, he will not go through chemo again. He tries to put on a tough"I'm fine" front, but he does get upset and tell me he is scared in private. Anyone have any words of wisdom? I don't know how to help him.
If you can, try and find other teens that have been through or going through treatment. If they can't help you at your hospital, there is always online. PAC2 (People against Childhood) they have a group of teens that support each other. http://curechildhoodcancer.ning.com/
It's hard enough to be a teen - then the whole cancer thing and throw in some steroids? Even though we want to be able to talk about everything with our kids and help them, we can't always get it quite right. And as you, kids don't come with operating instructions. Sometimes, it's easier to talk to someone else than your own family...
I took my now 7 year old to someone for play therapy and it really helped. We will probably go back off and on for a long time to come as we deal with whatever chemo side effects and surviving cancer issues that crop up. It provided a safety zone for her.
Good luck!
Sometimes it is hard for us as parents to deal with the anger that kids feel at having their lives so dramatically altered and disrupted. They just want to be normal teenagers and they aren't. As parents, we want the same thing and have to come to terms with that while at the same time trying to say the right things so that our teens can figure out how to cope with it all. There are some teen websites that you can check out. See below. The National Candlelighters site has some additional links from their teen page. If you read them and get a feel for how other teens feel, that might help you be better able to talk with him. If he checks them out, he may find some ways to come to terms with his new reality.
Candlelighters National Teen Page
http://www.candlelighters.org/Information/ForKids/ForTeens/tabid/297/Defaul t.aspx
2bMe
http://www.2bMe.org
A site for teens with cancer with lots of helpful tips.
CureSearch
http://www.teenslivingwithcancer.org
Lots of information and discussion boards.
The Ulman Fund
http://www.ulmanfund.org
A site for young adults with cancer – there is a discussion forum which may be useful.
Bandaids and Blackboards – Teen Section
http://www.lehman.cuny.edu/faculty/jfleitas/bandaides/contteen.html
I had cancer at the age of 13 and it was a devestating time in a child's life. No one understands what you are going through unless you are a teenager going through it. Friends are only around at the beginning or so they were in my case and your family, well they are there for you but you can't talk to them. It is too hard or so you think for them to understand what you could possibly be feeling. My heart goes out to you and your family and I pray that your child finds inner peace. If there are siblings, I strongly encourage you to find them outside therapy or take some one-on-one time with them because they do get forgotten in the battle and it's not what is meant to happen, but when your child is facing cancer, it is what happens. Good luck on your journey and I hope I have been of some support.
dear momtotyler, my name is Tanya and my son Brandon is going through the same thing. He has grade4 osteosarcoma in his hip bone, for which he had a hip replacement and prosthesis insertion. Had his first chemo 1 week ago. I am a nurse who has worked with chemo years ago so I knew it was going to be hell. There was no way I could have been prepared for the emotions. My son just kept asking for me to get a gun and put him out of his misery. My heart just broke. Maybe my and your son could email each other and talk about it??
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