Who's cancer is worse?

By tqm1ed
Posted September 9, 2008 at 4:25 am

Some of you now my name others don't. But like all off you I come to this site to learn, listen maybe even help someone. I have joined many of the groups because I believe all can give support and advise and because so many types of cancer has touched my family. But in visiting these sights I find that each is battling for recognition, each is trying to prove that their cancer is the worst kind of cancer.

""i don't know your name. do you actually believe your giving support and advice? everyone deals with such news of getting cancer differently. that being said if the worse thing from soneone who's looking for 'support and advice' is steaking a claim their 'cancer' is the worse kind of cancer so be it. when i was initially diagnosed the first question i asked (partially because all i was told by the original set of doctors was, get my affairs in order) is, how am i going to die? at that and subsequent moments i truly believed i had the worse cancer.as much a fighter as i am, yes, i'm here to say i'm only human.""

That they are over looked and under recognized. Who's stage is worse. They call those who do the benefits pink paraders and ribbon wearers. Are we not all in this for the same reasons, we have cancer and it sucks! We all have the same dreaded disease, the one that old friends avoid you for. We are in this together, lets stop critisizing each other and isolating ourselves ny cancer catagory or stage. I have learned one thing through my battle and that is that I need other cancer patients. Best wishes to all cancer patients!

"" yes, we are all in this together. this is the first site i've ever belonged to. the reason i joined is simple. i was diagnosed with stage iv colon cancer which spread to the liver, paritoneal lining and esophagus. it is what it is. that's what i was diagnosed with and that's why i write it. anyway, about 3-4 weeks ago was told all testing shows no cancer whatsoever. i often have wondered why i keep dodging these tremendous bullets? so, i joined in hopes i could give support and advice. i'm gong to be rather blunt here. the best thing you can do for someone who's ill in any way is to 'listen.' we are all here because were looking for someone whom may understand what were going through. i truly hope this response is not too brash. it's just when i read this it really caught my attention. God bless and be well. ed""

By Chemo2
Posted September 9, 2008 at 8:25 am

I believe I can give advice and support as well as anyone. You are exactly what I am talking about. You apparently are the only one diagnosed with such a dreaded disease. Only you can give support and advice because you are STAGE 4 colon cancer. I should ask you the same question, do you really think your giving support and advice or just attacking people who question why we isolate each other by cancer or stage. You seem to have a chip on your shoulder. I could not possibly know what you are going through because I was only STAGE 3 colon cancer. And you do know my name because you added me to your friends list. Get a grip and stop attcking people for asking questions. "Sorry if my response is BRASH it's just when I read your response it really caught my attention." The name of this site is Cancer Consultants Cancer support not Cancer Consultants Stage 4 Cancer support!

By Eve
Posted September 9, 2008 at 9:33 am

I, personally, appreciate narrowing down the types of cancer so I can learn from others. Each type of cancer has different treatments (such as different types of chemo) and I can ask questions of those who are going through the same thing.

Hope you can appreciate that about this website and those that post on it.

By Chemo2
Posted September 9, 2008 at 9:55 am

I do appreciate that Eve. Thats not my point. My point is that we could learn alot more from each other if we were not battling each other. Hope you can appreciate that.

By gpawelski
Posted September 9, 2008 at 10:44 am

Major health care issues are discussed on blogs and discussion boards more extensively than they could ever be discussed in academic articles. The ability of readers to leave comments in an interactive format is probably the most important part of most blogs and discussion boards.

The interactive format allows rapid responses to medical and health care issues which frequently intertwine moral, ethical and legal concerns, and provides valuable feedback and commentary not available through traditional media.

Blogs and discussion boards are increasing the visibility of laypeople, who share tips about treatment and care giving from personal experience, and others have relied on them for straight talk about their health issues and bloggers often provide links they favor.

As always, some cautiousness is needed on them. Cancer patients need informed opinion good, bad or indifferent. "Measured" moral support is important, but overkill sugarfest is sometimes dangerous.

By Rj
Posted September 9, 2008 at 3:21 pm

you must be kidding?

this site is not here for you to give advice!
nor
to vent your anger!

'we' share our experiences strength and hope here!

in fact, i have yet to experience anyone "giving advice" here, except now: perhaps

By Rj
Posted September 9, 2008 at 3:24 pm

ADVICE

Please check your ego at the door.

By LaGata
Posted September 10, 2008 at 1:12 am

chemo2,

Eve had a very good point and no one is attacking anyone over type/stage of cancer that I am aware of. Stating what a person's cancer is allows others to understand more about what is going on with that person and is better able to understand their position and the treatment they are undergoing. It would do little good if you're asking about side effects from cytoxin and I'm telling you what I went through on Arimidex. Differnet types of cancer, different medications, different side effects and although they treat cancers, it's very different types. One no less frightful than any other. And there are more than cancers discussed on these boards. Please don't feel insulted if someone gives their type/stage of cancer or treatments. We're all here because this forum is available and there are those of us who are willing to give encouragement and support to anyone with whatever type of illness they or their loved ones are going through.

By jbgary
Posted September 10, 2008 at 10:27 am

The reason that I give 'the details' of my cancer and treatment, isn't to outdo someone. It's easier to understand where someone's at and what they are going through, if you know what they've been through. It's always a way to learn and ask questions if you know someone who is going through the same thing. You can be more of an encouragement to others, too, if you understand what they are going through.
I'm sorry your so angry~I hope you can find the peace your looking for.

By Rj
Posted September 10, 2008 at 12:19 pm

Hey laGata,
Your response to chemo2 and was eloquently written.

When I need help and/or knowledge I go to one group, the main page "Cancer Consultants". where many different people talk about many different cancers and many times CC participants direct newbies to other groups.

Changing/reverting to a one site catch all cancer site sounds like a long list of cancer experiences and a time consuming search for a familiar experience one needs to relate to.

By LaGata
Posted September 10, 2008 at 1:54 pm

Thank you, Rj, for the compliment. I'll take all I can get! LOL!

Chemo2, after rereading your post about those "battling for recognition" and "whose cancer is the worse", I cruised around some of the posts on this site. Could you provide some quotes or direct me to something that brought you to this conclusion? Perhaps I'm just not seeing the same thing you are.

When someone posts their type of cancer, stage, treatment, it is necessary information for the rest of us to understand where they are, what they've already been through and what may next be in their future. If someone responds with their individual type, stage, treatment, it may modify the intent of their experience to the person they are directing it to.

I certainly see no one-upmanship as to who's cancer is the worst. I see people who have been through cancer and other horrid diseases either personally or through a loved one, who are searching for answers, information or just to vent their frustration that they are in this position. Even a paper cut, given the right (or wrong) circumstances, can become lethal or leave one with permanent pain.

As far as recognition, breast cancer, heart disease and lung disease have the media's attention. Is this a bad thing? No. It makes people aware that medical tragedies can happen. And in the donations to the various groups more research can be done to help us all. Many times a treatment for one thing is found that helps treat or diagnose something entirely different. Some of our most modern drugs happened just that way. If you want more recognition for your particular type of cancer or other disease, start a foundation, get it in the news and get funding for it.

We all have our individual stories, stages and situations. Indeed, we also have the unity of having something in common that none of us wanted. But we're here, fighting this battle together, supporting each other, holding tightly to friends that are on the same crazy ride, and even waiting for the next shoe to drop. There are others that are more well educated and able to convey their thoughts much better than I can but please know we're all here and doing the best that we can. Those that try to shut others out are not taken gently to the woodpile. I may sound nice at times but there's a tiger in my tank when someone is injured by pointed comments.

Now, if you've still got a problem, just let me know.

_^..^_

By kmarienap
Posted September 10, 2008 at 3:07 pm

Thank you lagata-we are all battling cancer not each other. chemo2 negativeness does no one any good here. use time wisely and for the good of others as you never know when your time will run out!

By LaGata
Posted September 11, 2008 at 2:00 am

kmarienap,

Turn your head chemo2, I'm going to talk about you...

(I think chemo2 is having a bad day and I'm not sure what put him in this apparently "off" mood. He's really quite a nice person).

By Chemo2
Posted September 11, 2008 at 8:15 am

Wow looks like I hit a nerve! I ask a simple question and who is showing anger? Kmarienap, did you actually read my initial post or did you just jump on the band wagon of attacking someone for asking a question. Lagata, I am a big boy say what you want, I dont need to turn my head! RJ_ get off your pity pot act like a grown-up. My initial post was not negative it was stating an opinion. If you can scan other groups and not see what I am talking about then you are blind! You say my negativeness does no good here, but go back and read your responses, rather that try to educate me, you take the oppurtunity to take cheap shots. Thanks LaGata I appreciate it! Rj you are just not worth the effort to respond to you.

By Beth
Posted September 11, 2008 at 10:39 am

Hi everyone,

Let's keep it civil. There is no need for personal attacks and if this continues, the thread will be shut down.

All the members of this group are here because they have or care about someone who has cancer. Let's try to keep that in mind.

Beth, TeamInspire

By Chemo2
Posted September 11, 2008 at 11:25 am

I thought my original discussion was very civil. I did not expect the backlash that I recieved!

By amw327
Posted September 11, 2008 at 2:24 pm

I do not have cancer but had pre-cancer removed
and because i have high risk hpv could someday have cervical cancer- i hope not but this forum is amazing not only for cancer patients but for people who are looking for information to help them with their own dianosis whether it is stage 0 (cis)1,2,3 or 4. I appreciate everyone's help.. Thankyou to you all-

By Rj
Posted September 11, 2008 at 7:15 pm

LaGata,
How do you know? I usually read the profile of those who post a discussion before I reply. Tried surfing through the groups and did not see a "battle". Didn't find much at chemo's profile page either. In fact, I can not recall what his cancer is. After reading his comments today, I tried to read his profile again but the system says "Whoops can not find that file". In effort to end his angry discussion, I'm happy to take your word for it and be happy I'm not having 'his day'.

Do I remember reading your precious feline has left us? so sorry, I miss my midnight beauty very much hope it wasn't you.

Thanks for your kind words, Always.
Rj.

By LaGata
Posted September 12, 2008 at 12:35 am

Rj,

Chemo2 and I have exchanged a few emails and "talked" on a few posts in the past. Much the same as you and I have. He is a lung cancer survivor.

You, chemo2 and everyone else on these posts I think of as special friends and I hate to see my friends have "words" that venture into the personal. I'm happy that you take my word for it. I consider you both to be very special to me.

My precious baby Oliver passed away on June 8th. If you go to my profile and look down the list of journal/discussions for "Tribute to Oliver", you can read the post I put up for him. I've received so many wonderful letters acknowledging him and it helps so much. That's his picture beside my name.

It's too bad that we all don't live closer together and we could sit down over a cup of coffee, commiserate our losses, celebrate our successes and find that we're all pretty neat, good people. Postings will have to do. Now, I do hope that we can all lighten up and let bygones be bygones.

LaGata aka Laura

By LaGata
Posted September 12, 2008 at 12:44 am

amw327,

I read you profile and am so happy that so far your tests have come back good. My mother went 40 years without having a problem but did not have PAP tests and is paying the price of having to do semi-weekly chemo from now on. So keep up the good work!

Please do feel free to ask questions and those of us that have been there (like me) will do the best we can to answer.

LaGata aka Laura

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