I've never been involved in anything lke this before. Let me start off by sayin my husband has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. We are in our 3ed year of treatment. First was surgery and gemzar treatments. Everything was good and looked like they had got it all and 6 months after treatment it was back and stage 4. OMG is all i could think. then the great news of "I would say you have 6months to a year" and also "we have done everything here that we can do. "
My husband entered a clenical trial at Sara Cannon over a year ago. The first drug didnt do anything and his tumors grew. He is now on Xeloda and a target agent (trial drug). Things have been going well his spirits are high, he has had very little side efects and the tumors have been shrinking(one is completely gone) God is good!
We closed our printing company last month due to the economy, Im on unemployment and we will get by with disability and that. I know that God was setting me up for something new just didnt know what. It could'nt be Dave! he is doing so well!
He has a camping trip that he goes on with the guys every year and it is this week. He has been looking forward to it so much. And excited because no one expected him to even be here this year. He has spent all of last week packing and getting ready for this "man trip", Sunday after church he even stopped to get a few last minute things before he left. BUT.... after we got home it was all together another story.
He went to bed to take a nap and when he woke he is feelling sick. He hasnt told me much about whats going on with him, he does this to protect me. Yea like I dont see whats going on. He has not got out of bed and its Monday night. He has no fever, sore throte, shortness of breath, tiard, body aches, head ach, u get it. Im sending him back to the Dr. tomorrow. I'm scarred is all..........Is he going to take that turn for the worse? Is tha why Im home now?
I guess i have been nieve about all this and thinking it would all just get better, this is really the first time he has got sick. I know we are lucky, after reading what everyone else is going through, Iknow we have been blessed. I just dont know what to expect. will he just keep going down hill form here? Just some words of encuragement is all we need.
I love him so much I cant even think what it will be like when he is gone. I dont want to. I dont like thinking this way, Im scarred, and im alone.
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Help for the caregiver
- By christyann
- Posted October 20, 2009 at 1:51 am · 8 replies
- In Pancreatic cancer
- Shared with the public
Explore topics in this discussion:
Cancer Surgery Pain Depression Pancreatic cancer Fever Cervical cancer
8 replies
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- By tqm1ed
- Posted October 20, 2009 at 4:38 am
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stage iv pancreatic cancer for three years. wow, what a journey you two have been going through.
the symptoms you wrote down are very similar to the flu. with exception of you writing "no fever." however, sometimes the body is so worn out that creating a fever when sick doesn't occur. hard to believe but lets hope that's what this is.
could you keep us posted? i just said a prayer that tomorrows Dr's appointment goes well.
- By christyann
- Posted October 20, 2009 at 7:34 am
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Thanks for the prayers, I don't quite know what to expect these days. The flue ... yes it could be I guess without a feaver I didnt think of that. We will see when he gets up and goes back to see the Dr. I know I'm not alone, it just feesl that way sometimes. Thanks and I will keep you posted
- By iva1
- Posted October 20, 2009 at 10:04 am
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Christy Ann: My heart goes out to you as I have just come through that LONG journey of "the VALLEY of the SHAWDOW of death" with my beloved husband of 67 years. When two people love eachother and are UNITED it is the most difficult time in that union BUT GOD loves us and wants to help us. I will just put this briefly. Turn to the 23 Psalm and ask you and your husband ask yourselves this question:"Is th Lord MY Shepherd?" If the answr is YES; then read on and absorb all He has for you IF NOT, ASK HIM TO BE by confessing that you need HIM and accepting John 3:16. Then call the Hospice Association in your town and they will come to you at NO CHARGE. As you trust God and the Word of God you can experience a wonderful life for He has a perfect plan for each of us and some of that plan includes suffering but He also gives PEACE in the midst of it all. I am praying for you annd your dear husband Iva 1
- By caretaker1976
- Posted October 20, 2009 at 10:53 am
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I've never written here before, although I have read many posts. My wife has stage 4 cervical cancer. We are currently in a clinical trial also, but have not been scanned yet. I have believed all along that she will be healed, but sometimes it's unbearably hard. We have been fighting since June of 2007, and it is starting to wear on her. She has always been very positive, but I fear she is dipping into depression. Sometimes she just gets quiet, or goes in the other room to cry. When I try to help it makes it worse. I guess I always thought that together we could get through anything. I guess the rollercoaster that is cancer treatment is wearing on both of us. I can't imagine losing her to cancer but I certainly don't want to lose her to depression either. Sorry I'm rambling on about our problems, just wanted you to know that your not alone and that I'll add you guys to our prayers.
- By christyann
- Posted October 20, 2009 at 12:44 pm
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Iva1,
Yes the Lord is my shepard and I know he is with us. I know that he has plans for us, plans to prosper and I lean on him alot. Sometimes it just gets hard, and you feel all alone, expecially when the one you Love the most in life is shutting you out.
What about Hospice? He does not need in home care at this time, do they still work with you? My mother used hospice when my grandparents were at the end of there lifes. They were wonderful. How can they help when he doesnt need in home care?
Thanks for all the prayers and the reminder that God is with me and we are not alone.
- By christyann
- Posted October 20, 2009 at 1:23 pm
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Caretaker1976,
I feel your pain.... I have felt that God would heal Dave as well, and with the scans showing reductions it seems like he was working on it, but then Ihave to remember he still has cancer.
When is your wifes first scan? I pray you recieve good results. Dave has his next scan on the 26 and we get the news on the 28 th.It seems right before a scan he closes me out. His mind is going wild I can see that, but he just wont talk with me. I have always felt the two of us could beat anything in our way as long as we stayed strong in our beliefe. I know we will beat this thing and you will also, keep the faith, lean on God he is bigger than cancer, and know you have a friend here that you can talk with anytime.
O... an update.... Dave woke up this morning and feeling better, or so he says. I could'nt get him to the Dr. He is so pig headed at times. He has just left to go camping with the guys. (in tents). I just pray that he is better and it wont come back even worse. I know they will keep an eye out for him but, until Sunday morning they are his caregives and I turst they Love him enough to take care of him.
- By grdnr
- Posted October 20, 2009 at 5:06 pm
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Hi Christyann. I wish that I had words of wisdom for you, but I don't. My husband was diagnosed 3 months ago with stage 3 cancer of the esophagus. He is mid-way through his 6 wk chemo/radiation treatments, and then surgery to remove part of his esophagus and resection it to his stomach. He has had a dangerous fever, he can only eat pureed food, and he is in terrible pain when he swallows, even liquids. The pain is partially because of his tumnor, and partially due to his radiation burn. I'm saying all of this because I can certainly understand your fear and pain. You've put words to many of my thoughts. I've been married 39 years and I too can't imagine life without my Bob.
I recently spoke to a woman who's husband recently died from this horrible disease. I keep repeating her words in my minds....take every day as it comes. Hold on to each precious moment, and consider every day a gift from God. Find a peaceful place within you, and go there as often as you can. Be there for him with faith and a positive smile.
As she spoke I thought, "Easier said then done". But as I repeat her words to myself, they can bring me peace, and much needed relief from an overwhelming feeling of dread.
My best to you and your husband.
Nan
- By iva1
- Posted October 21, 2009 at 2:43 am
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So glad you know The Lord and that He is your Shepherd.
Just call Hospice and ask them to visit you and tell you when you will be ready for EXTENDED CARE HOSPICE This is what we did and when I looked at the 17 key conditions to determine if we need their assistance we had 14 out of 17!! I needed EARLY help and got it. They will even come for a period; then if not needed hold off and come back with physical and emotional help at a later time. Just call them to help especially because you are alone in your husbands care.
Just keep looking up, reading helpful passages and "praiyng without ceaing", day and night- i.e.""Lord, what do I do NOW?" I just did that when I coud not sleep and I was impressed to see if I had heard from you and here you are. Where do you live? I am in Jacksonville, Florida, missing my Earl but thanking the Lord that he is no longer suffering and for the good life we had.Iva1
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