Am I doing the right thing?

I am a stage II ovarian cancer survivor. I am concerned that I am not doing what I should to take care of myself. I was cancer free a year and a half ago and I was given the opportunity to change jobs after 17 years at my former job. I felt the cancer was completely gone and behind me and this was an opportunity I could not pass up. Higher pay, much better benefits, etc.
The only drawback was the stress of changing jobs after 17 years and the new job can be a high stress job on most days.
After changing jobs, 6 months later my cancer reoccurred. I am currently cancer free again and back to full time at my new job. I am concerned that the stress is not doing me any good as there are days when I just do not feel like I have the strength to deal with it. I do not want to give up my job if I do not have to. All my co-workers are very understanding. But, ultimately it is me that has to deal with everything. I know that being able to work is a good thing as it takes my mind off of the cancer most of the time.
Is there anyone else out there that struggles with this? Do we just do what we think is right for us? Am I being selfish for even letting this bother me?

By Mary317
Posted February 25, 2008 at 7:14 am
Report post

I can understand your questioning about doing the right thing...I question myself quite a bit also. I was diagnosed with stage IIIC ovarian cancer in January of 2006. I went through the usual carbo/taxol treatment and was cancer free for about three months. I have been on just about non-stop chemo since September of 2006. I, too, have a high stress level job.

Once I recurred, I went through a second line chemo treatment. I was without chemo for about six weeks and then my numbers went up again. At this time I had really bad ascites and was having a really hard time. I applied for social security disability at this time. It took about two and a half months to be approved.

At the time I was diagnosed I was working approximately 30-35 hours a week. During treatment I worked part time, limited hours. After completing treatment, I went back to approximately 20-25 hours a week. I am still working but work approximately 10-12 hours a week. I was told that while on social security disability you are able to work limited hours.

Why do I work? I like my job and I like the people I work with. I feel that it helps to maintain a sense of normal during everything I have been through. Much of the stress has been taken off me. I have been given a helper at work and have learned to delegate my work. I feel that if I didn't work, I would have just as much stress at home with having too much time on my hands and worrying about this disease.

By gloriahouse
Posted February 25, 2008 at 10:33 am
Report post

Hi there dmiller. We have talked before.I too am ovarian cancer survivor and currently in treatment. Read my blog if you want to remember me, Anyways I agree with Mary as well. It is good to have something normal in our lives as we deal with this. I do not work outside the home BUT I do a lot of work with teens in my community. It has helped me tremendously .The stress to me is worth it because it proves I am still here and able to enjoy life.Again it is not for everyone thou some need to destress their life to cope. So which are you? Does the stress of working out weigh the stress of just staying home and worrying?Like Mary maybe you can reduce your hours? Either way I think you will weigh all your options and decide what is best for you. Hey go ahead and be selfish even because we do deserve to be selfish sometimes!!!!Let me know your decision okay. Am I wrong or did you just email me and say your last checkup was great or are you back in treatments?

By joycepots
Posted February 25, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Report post

I applaude you for working and taking the new job! I think that doing what is normal takes the cake. It is important to be a part of the world, whatever that means to you! I was able to take early retirement, after breast-ovarian IIIC-breast...all within three years. I loved my job and when I could take early retirement did. I have been "retired" for 1 1/2 years, have traveled quite a bit and developed a comfortable retirement lifestyle. I have lots of hobbies and I'm active in my local support group. Because I'm relatively young (61) and have not had a recurrance (4 years post chemo for OVCA) I may go back to work at some point, but will aim for a job that is more fun than stress! It's nice to have a choice! Best wishes to you as you make the world exactly what you want it to be! Hugs, Joyce

By dmiller
Posted February 25, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Report post

Thank you to Mary317, gloriahouse, & joycepots for your understanding and your helpful comments. I will just take things one day at a time right now. I will trust the Lord will guide me in making a decision on this matter.
gloriahouse, my checkup went very well, thank you. My CA125 dropped to 4 (down from 5 last month) and I am not currently on chemo. I had my last treatment November 15, 2007.
Again, thank you all for your comments.

By suzy1
Posted April 14, 2008 at 10:23 am
Report post

I am a 111c ovca survivor diagnosed in 2000. I have had one recurrence and the dr thinks I may be on my way to another (numbers are rising) though the ct scan shows nothing, yay! I took disability (which took three months to get) and have not been sorry for a moment as I feel that rest is so important to survivial. I have lots of hobbies, got involved with the American Cancer Society Road to Recovery and travel with my husband. Have just moved so will get involved with volunteering and making new friends. I think one has to do what is best for them too.
Good luck!

By ilisten
Posted April 19, 2008 at 11:16 am
Report post

Hi dmiller,
I do not know if you will still read this because it has been a while since you posted.
It seems that what you are asking is should you keep this stressful job, knowing stress isn't good, and are you being in some way "selfish" to even be having these thoughts about the job and stress, etc ... like maybe those thoughts are petty.
I am not always right, but I think that when we think about cancer and its return a lot, that is the most stressful thing we can do. It is way more stressful, for some people, than working. You could make a chart; 0 to 10 re stress of the job ... compare 0 to 10 stress from the worry if you were not busy working.
I think maybe we all do what we can to cope with this disease ... part of that coping may be looking at each tiny area we could be doing differently. Since we can't control the cancer, we might sure like to control everything else we can control. Maybe we try to make some kind of order out of this chaos, and that might look like petty, selfish stuff to people who have MUCH greater problems ... I'm not sure what those would be, however. Maybe, if it is something you can consider, you can allow yourself to think of your considerations (selfish thoughts) as ways you are looking at coping. Sort of like, trying to figure out a particularly difficult part of your new job, so that it will go smoother.
Many of us have the same, more difficult, or less difficult problems, but it does not minimize any of the stress and very real issues of ovarian cancer. We are all chosen sisters of a sort. And each of us is totally unique.
You have every right to each thought and emotion that you experience. And you have the complete right to do whatever you need to do to make your days the best they can be. Never do anything until you are ready to do it, no matter what it is. When you are ready, move forward knowing that you are capable and can also change your mind when you see that change is the right thing at the time.
Be centered in the gift of today.
Be well.
Warm regards,
ilisten

Welcome to Inspire!

Explore topics in this discussion:

6 replies

Add to the discussion

Group leaders

You