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We need your prayers again

luvcntrym
0 Recommendations

Hi everyone,
I feel like I shouldn't be asking you all for prayers again since I have not been on here in a long time. But I am because I don't know who to turn to or what to do. As some of you know, my husband(Dennis) has metastatic bladder cancer, both lungs, liver, lymph nodes and neck. I took him to ER on Sunday because he was very fatigued and weak and has not been eating(lost 15 pounds in 6 weeks). He recieved his 3rd round of Taxotere last Thursday and started radiation a week ago today on his neck. They admitted him and today they did a ct-scan. I got to the hospital this morning about 1130am and by 8pm noone came in with any results except the nurse telling me that it didn't look good and that he has a bowel obstruction. I made her show me the report. It looks like the chemo is not doing any good AGAIN. All of the cancer has gotten bigger and a new one supposedly in his liver. He is also on oxygen now too. Without the oxygen his reading is at 86 and should be at least 92. I really don't want to be babbling about all of this so I am swallowing my pride and asking for all the prayers we can get right now. I feel like we're losing ground. With all of the chemo out there why can't there be one that can at least give us some hope.
Mary

Explore topics in this discussion:

Taxotere Cancer Pain Glioblastoma Bladder cancer Bone marrow transplant

22 replies

Karego

Mary, my heart goes out to you. We, for the most part are not equipped to give you medical direction at this stage of Dennis' cancer. But, we do want to support you both as much as we can. Don't think we aren't willing to keep you two in our prayers. Of course we will. I will pray for courage and strength for you both to face whatever path you must travel. When the drugs aren't working, we all are willing to grasp anything to keep hope alive. I have found in my life that I can manage to handle whatever I must when I know I've been given all the facts and options. Now may be the time to have that discussion with your medical team so that you know which direction to take at this juncture.
Then, you will gird yourself to find a way to walk that path. My prayers will be with you.
Karego

BJsHere

My Dearest Mary~

You have been traveling a very hard and painful road with Dennis.
He is very fortunate to have you there for him.
Hope allows us the strength to continue the fight.
Maybe it allows someone to learn a bit more from us.

I will pray that God gives you the strength to endure this troubled time.
I know that you want answers....
that is so normal.

I would like to share something with you if I may,
My bladder was removed in December 2008 after starting a fight in 2003 to beat it.
Not knowing about this site and not thinking clearly,
I made a very bad choice in doctor/hospital.
I did not stay with the man who kept me alive and who was not looking for acholades.
As a result, I almost died.
I was at deaths door over Christmas and spent New Years Eve, New Years day in another hospital who save my life.

Let me say that I profess to allow each person to believe or not to believe in God or a God...
I am not overly religious but I have my Lutheran faith
or should I say Christian faith.
I believe Faith is private and should not be pushed on anyone.

Here is my point ....
during that very difficult time, I prayed to God over and over again to take me.
I was so very weak and weary of the battle.
I told my family, friends and I told both of my Pastors
to prepare funeral arrangements for me...
I had to go, it was my time.......

I began to get angry with God because he was not listening to me!

In time, I started to heal,
in time, my Urologist who had kept me alive took me back,
in time, I started sharing with those on this site.
In time I journeyed to North Carolina and experienced that emotional/spiritual bonding that can never be described well enough.

As I now reflect, God did hear me.
God does have plans for me.
I am to help those that go after me on this journey.
I am to help spread the word about Bladder Cancer.

I cannot pretend to understand what God has in mind for you and Dennis...
only time will give you that answer.

I would say if it were me...
that enough is enough,
I want some quality time at whatever level that may be with my loved one.
I want to die in my own home.

That may sound a bit harsh and it is meant only in
kindness.
I will be with you both in spirit and pray that the pain that you both carry is lifted.

May God Bless you both.

BJ

roadrunner

Mary,
Lots of prayers coming,,,and I will call you.......

Ginger

daveyo

doing some prayers from little rhody for you...
never lose hope.....
miracles happen every day....

thinking of you both
david

15yrsurvivor

Wow, BJsHere's reply is an act no one can possibly follow! I will pray for you as you have requested, even
though I am not religious.

phallon

Hi,

You can add my prayers along with all others. So sorry you both have to go thru something like this.

Phallon

balihigh

We are all here to help and support each other in anyway we care. My prayers are coming your way from NC. BJ has spoken for me too.
Hugs,
Nancy

luvcntrym

I was up at 6am this morning. I could not sleep. I was calling the hospital every 2 hours to see if Dennis was okay. The nurse said they took the oxygen mask off and gave him the nostril tubes instead and his reading is at 93. Thank you for the prayers.
BJ.....That was very inspiring. If it were me, I'd probably give up but he is not ready to do that so I am there to fight with him. I am not a very religious person, even though I am Catholic. I do believe in God and lately I have been really talking to him.
Daveyo....I sure hope you are doing well.
Ginger.....I'm glad you called me last night, thank you.
Thank you ALL so much. I'm getting ready to go to the hospital and I'll try to keep you updated.
God Bless,
Mary

lsh

Mary,

My husband, Dan went through a successful Bone Marrow Transplant 8 years ago. He spent months at a time in the hospital and was even in the ICU on a ventilator for a while. God carried us through it...we were in the palm of His Hand. I would not have made it through the battle without Him. We will lift ya'll in prayer, praying that The Lord will give ya'll the strength you need during this time.

Lynda

joybob

Prayers coming your way from upstate New York. This is a hard road to travel. I believe you and Dennis will make the right decisions at this time. If they can not do anything and chemo is not working, don't do it anymore. Let the body recover and have some quality of life. We fought to keep my sister alive and that was because we loved her, but she was sick and miserable. It's a tough place to be in and my heart goes out to you. Keep the faith and let God guide you on your path. Joycee

MrSerious

Dear Mary,

Thank you for asking for our help, even when you really didn't want to. Those are the times when we NEED to ask for others' assistance, so I'm glad you did. That takes a lot of courage.

You and Dennis will be in my prayers.

With love,

Nigel.

silgal

Thoughts and prayers to Mary and Dennis......
michelle

jj803

Mary,
You and Dennis will continue to be in my prayers.

JJ

spartyman

Please ask us for our help anytime you need us. We need to lean on each other and that is what we are here for. I just sent you some extra heavy poten good karma. Could ya feel it???

We are all here for you!

Tom in Michgian

vtom

Oh sweet Mary -

I am so sorry you and Dennis are going through this. I have been there three times in my life - with a 4 year old neighbor with a brain tumor, with a 19 year old nephew with nueroblastoma and most recently, my 77 year old mother with glioblastoma.

What I have learned each time that is what I desire most for my loved one - no matter their age - is peace and comfort (the opposite of pain). I have also prayed for wisdom and compassion for the health care team.

In each hospice situation - God answered our prayers. Our time together when my loved one was lucid, was full of gentle conversation and taking time to do things they enjoyed. Watching Barney with Katie, hockey with Ryan and HGTV with my mom. If they could eat, I became a short order cook and made them whatever their heart desired - even though their stomach didn't care for it and they sometimes never took the first bite. At least I gave them their heart's desire and they had fond memories of their favorites. These are some of my fondest moments.

I was also at peace that if there was anything the health care professionals could do to change the eventual outcome - that God would give them wisdom. However in each of the situations - we came to the realization that more chemo would just add to the pain, a lower quality of life and never change the outcome.

This allowed us to focus on peace and comfort - which for my loved ones meant being in their own homes surrounded by their loved ones.

I will be praying the same for you and Dennis
- Wisdom and compassion for your health care team
- Peace, comfort and gentle times together for you and Dennis, and your loved ones.

Please know you are in the prayers of many and God will see you through all of this. Veronica

Moonerj

Hi Mary

All I can offer you is my prayers and hope.
God Bless you and Dennis.
Jack

cat22

Our thoughts and prayers for comfort, strength and peace are with you both.

Cathy

Keith1

Mary & Dennis'
My thoughts and prayers are with you both.
Keith

spaisley39

Mary,
NEVER be ashamed to ask for prayers from Friends~ that is who we are. Prayer's are overflowing your way from Memphis. Please take care of yourself also. I know you are exhausted and scared. God will gently lead the way and lead you and Dennis to Peace. We do not know how that Peace will arrive but it will. God love you both.
Stacy

Leslie45

Mary,

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Leslie

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Researchers are looking for bladder cancer survivors to complete a telephone survey. Click here for more information.

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Information for those newly diagnosed with bladder cancer from BCAN.

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BCAN's November Patient Forum in San Francisco
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