I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers and support you all have given to me and Dennis. As most of you know, after battling with B/C for over 3 1/2 years, Dennis passed away August 31. It was the most devastating thing I have ever had to watch. He was my life and now I feel like my life is over. I buried him this past Friday. I wished he could have seen all the people whose lives he touched. There were probably 200 that came to see him. They all had the same story to tell me. And that is that he never complained, was always there for everyone else, was a great man and was very special. Today is the first day that I am alone and I hate it. All I'm doing is crying. I miss him so so very much. I pray for all of you who have bladder cancer and for all the caregivers and family members. May God Bless each and everyone of you.......Mary
p.s. A special Thank You to Ginger and Michelle for allowing me to call on the phone when I needed someone to talk to.
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Thank You Everyone
- By luvcntrym
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 9:53 am · 28 replies
- In Metastatic bladder cancer
- Shared with the public
- Edited September 6, 2009 at 10:02 am
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28 replies
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- By Cheyenne
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 11:52 am
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My sincere condolences to tou. That is a loss for all those people who Dennis helped, and I am sure there are many, so in that sense he lives on. But there is no way to minimize the pain of your loss. I guess only time can do that. When my Mom died almost two years ago it felt, and still do, that I lost my life as well. It gets better everyday but it is very difficult for me and I am sure even more difficult for you. I surely will keep you in my prayers and I thank God that Dennis was blessed to have you. Through your loss many have been helped and spared a painful death. My best wishes to you, and to Dennis who is now free of pan and sufferieng. God bless you!
- By lsh
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 11:56 am
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Mary,
I can only imagine what you are going through now. Friends of mine who have lost a spouse have found that support groups for those who are grieving a spouse help. I will pray that The Lord will surround you with His love and help you through this time.
Lynda
- By JeanneS
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 11:56 am
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I'm so sorry. God bless you , and give you strength.
Love, Jeanne
- By sunshine604
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 12:07 pm
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Mary -
So glad that Dennis had so many good friends to say goodbye. As you said, it's too bad the one who passes couldn't see all the people who cared so much for them.
Now it's your turn to cry for awhile.
I'm sending lots of hugs to you.
Eileen
- By Karego
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 12:08 pm
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Mary, know we are in sorrow with you. Each loss takes its toll here too. Our sincere wishes for peace and calm to return to you. You both were and still are family to us.
Karego
- By nancynursez637
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 12:09 pm
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Hi, now the hard work for you begins. The loss is a major one, and will take a long time to come to peace with. It renews itself acutely during the first year as you approach holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays. You wonder how can I do this? As you pass the first anniversary, you realize you did get through it and you can do it, and now the loss is a bit less acute.
The reality is as you wait for things to return to normal, normal has shifted big time. Took me a while to realize that, but once I did, then it was easier, but there is a hole in your soul that gradually fills with wonderful memories of times together.
Don't be afraid of the tears and the grief, it is necessary prepartion for the future. It is ok, and it is normal, even though those around you have gone on with their lives, you have to pick your own way, and take your own time and shed the pent up grief.
Stay in touch with us if you like, we care about your loss and grief.
Many of the hospice centers or hospitals have support groups for those experiencing acute losses, you might find it another place you can find comfort.
Nancy
- By LadyJane123
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 2:05 pm
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Keeping you and your family and friends close to my heart Mary.
- By Ciboney1
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 3:56 pm
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Dear Mary,
We are all thinking of you in our thoughts and prayers. Time does help to ease the pain for those of us left. Sometimes, I know it seems the days just are there and not moving along.. When I lost my parents 5 wks apart it seemed like time stood still and I was standing still with it...with everyone and everything moving on with out me...It felt like I was suspended but somehow you do start to move forward. Like look at the bright sun one day and something reminds you of your loved one and suddenly you smile.. happily; Then maybe the next day it happens again and then again.
All of a sudden you start to feel that things will be better but different of course without your loved one.
But you will be o.k. in your new life with awesome memories of Dennis.......
Love,
Arlene
For me it was a pair of doves on a electric line... I began to see them daily and things seemed to get better that day and I just knew it was my parents looking over me. I started to remember the good times...Its been 13 years and when I am low within a short time maybe a day or so I see a dove or a pair and I know they are checking on me...
My husband has even seen the doves appear when he is with me and we were about to make a major decision about buying a house, medical decision and/or about taking a trip for business.. It truely is my sign they are still there watching what I do..Keeping me straight he calls it.. LOL I just say it helps me to cope and it reminds me they still think of me and love me tooo..
- By roadrunner
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 4:08 pm
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And for me ."a butterfly" APPEARS HERE AND THERE,,,
and its my dad,,,as outside his hospice room there were butterflys a plenty and doves as well,,,,so now since he passed in March I await the spring so I can revisit him again,,,,my hope is you will find your way to peace Mary,not now,maybe not for awhile,,,,but remember him without cancer,,,,,,,,sitting on the porch swing with you,,,,saying,,,,,,,,,,how about a trip downtown,,,,you know what I mean....Love,Ginger
- By cageygal
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 4:29 pm
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I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you are going through.
As you get stronger (and you WILL get stronger), please continue to stay in touch as you can. There are so many of us here who can learn alot from you, and can find comfort in having someone who knows what we are going through. I truly believe that God helps us and comforts us through our trials so that we may be a comfort to others when they go through the same.
I'll be praying for you.
CG
- By daveyo
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 6:01 pm
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mary, i am sorry to hear about dennis.
remember we are all here if you want to vent or talk...
be strong, i know its hard....but remember he is just passed to another side...he can see and hear you, so don't be afraid to talk to him,,,you will get your answers spiritually...
again, i'll say a prayer for you.
david
- By spartyman71
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 7:15 pm
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I don't think the pain of losing someone whom you dearly love is like any other pain. Please grieve your loss in anyway that feels right to you. As Ncncy said, hospice has a wonderful grief program for fmaily members. I finally had to go when my mom dies this May. It was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. I hope you have family and friends that you can call and talk to when you need to . I did and it made all the difference in the world. We are so , so, sorry for your loss.
Tom and Sherry
- By Sophiedo
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 7:44 pm
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Mary,
I am so sorry for your loss of your dear husband. Your in my thoughts and prayers.
Lynn
- By vtom
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 8:07 pm
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Mary -
I am so sorry. Your love for Dennis was so amazing to watch from your posts. You were a wonderful caregiver and a loving wife. May the love you shared give you comfort. May the wonderful memories everyone shared with you about him bring you joy.
I will pray that God will give you peace and strength during this season. The coming days and months will be tough - but I pray that the love you and Dennis had will carry you through the tough times. Veronica
- By YvonneM
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 9:34 pm
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You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for your loss.
Yvonne
- By joybob
- Posted September 6, 2009 at 9:52 pm
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Mary so sorry about Dennis passing away. He fought for 3 years. You both went thru it together. You were there for him every step of the way. You will grieve because of the loss of Dennis. But you will rebound because you had a wonderful love, and that never dies. You will shed the tears now, but you will do what Dennis would want you to do. And that is to go on and live a life with peace and contentment. God bless, Joycee
- By georgiaE
- Posted September 7, 2009 at 7:49 am
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Mary,
I am so very sorry for your great loss. I feel your pain. I lost my mother a long time ago to cancer when she was way too young, as did my husband only a year later. My husband Ed had his rc in June and is scheduled for his first cat scan tomorrow since his surgery. Every day I am both hopeful and fearful of the future and the possiblitity of losing my husband of 40 years also. He is the love of my life. I believe that when death occurs, even though their soul passes to the other side, their spirit remains with us, to watch over us, protect us. Their are signs that they are here. Mine was a bird in a tree in our back yard who stayed for days after my mom passes. It even sat on the window seal and peered in at us. I knew it was my mom. Dennis will always be with you in spirit. He was so lucky to have you and you him. We are all crying with you and thinking of you.
Much love,
Candon
- By luvcntrym
- Posted September 7, 2009 at 8:24 am
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Thank you all for your sympathy and words of understanding. I already know that Dennis is with me. When we moved into this house 8 years ago(it was 8 years ago the day Dennis died) we had a humming bird feeder and never ever saw a humming bird. Yesterday, I was sitting at the kitchen table and a humming bird appeared by my hanging plant by the kitchen door wall and fluttered there for about 2 minutes. I just knew it was Dennis. I lost my mom 4 years ago and ever since then, every morning there is a bird that screeches and it sounds like its saying Mary,Mary. My mom had a screechy voice. So I too believe in signs like that. God Bless you all!....Mary
- By silgal
- Posted September 7, 2009 at 8:56 am
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Mary, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
I believe in signs like that too.
many hugs
michelle
- By DRB
- Posted September 7, 2009 at 10:00 am
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Mary -
I have only been on this website for a short time but I have been reading your journals about Dennis and I am truly sorry for your loss. My heart is hurting for you.
You will be in our prayers.
God Bless You.
Stacey
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