It’s been over 9 months now since my doctor and his robot gutted me and gave me a new plumbing system complete with a pee bag that I drag around with me 24/7. As all of you with bags know well, I also have a little red puckered new friend who can’t feel anything and who seems to enjoy spouting like a little fire hose whenever he feels like it. I also have a new and very small little friend who has been in a coma for the best part of the 9 months but he just recently grew 2” overnight. Me and him were watching some really, really good internet porn and he suddenly began to wake up. We saw a bright light in the sky and we held each other tight in wonderment. It was a miracle as far as I was concerned but he’s still kind of numb so it was a short celebration. He’s the smaller brain and my stoma (who also has a little brain of his own) just hangs with us when we take showers together. The little / getting-bigger guy used to be a 3-hander but he was reduced to a 3 incher and now is back to a 5 incher but that didn’t last. (More than you want to know, I bet.) The next day, he sort of went back into his little coma. Of course, we haven’t been able to share any more good internet viewing because it seems so weird to the big brain to have to do something like that to wake up the smaller brain but …… waddyagonnado? I’m getting off point and I’m sure everyone is tired of hearing about my little guy’s problems. Tough!

Now, to get back to the purpose of this post. When I take a dump these days the smell is unbelievable to me and even to my little dog. She used to like sitting in the bathroom right in front of the toilet sort of between my knees looking up at me as I sat on it pooping but now she won’t get near me or the bathroom when I’m on the pot. That’s bad, folks. Something is really strange here. This is a dog that loves rolling in other dog’s poop and sticking her nose in really ugly stinky places like other dog's butts. I never used to smell like this. Looking down at my dog that was between my knees while she was looking up at me while I was pooping used to help me poop. I miss that.

I’m 185 pounds and have been for the past 40 years or so no matter what I eat or don’t eat. Everyone is going to scold me. I can feel it coming BUT my diet hasn’t changed a bit. It consists of big juicy steaks whenever possible, chili, fried chicken, pizza, spaghetti, lots of vegetables and mashed potatoes with gravy and ice cream bars, brownies, home-made chocolate chip cookies with pecans in them, the occasional cake, and about 5 cups of coffee every day etc. My wife (of 46 years) bakes whenever she gets excited or worried so I keep her in a constant state of excitement and worry (unintentionally). I get blueberry, strawberry, cherry, peach, chocolate, and apple pies most anytime I want because it doesn’t take much to excite or worry her lately and she does enjoy baking. She says that she’s very happy because she really does love to bake and she can crank one of these wonderful pies out in about 20 minutes. I just got a tray full of home-made brownies with pecans in them a few minutes ago. Waa Hoo

Life is good but my poop smells really horrible. I have to breathe through my mouth when I’m on the toilet and tell others to stay out of the bathroom for about 10 minutes afterwards. They say that a fox can’t smell his own hole but my hole is so smelly these days that even this old fox can’t stand to be in it. Is this a sign that I’m on my way out of this world? I can’t change because I don’t adapt well at all to change. If my wife moves anything in our home more than 2”, it’s gone forever for me. I really don’t want to change but I also really don’t want to have paramedics prying me off of the toilet in a horizontal position either and I also don’t want to blow the back end of my house up if a match is lit. There’s no telling how explosive these fumes might be. Is this the way all guys who were gutted by their doctors smell? My doctor won’t discuss it with me. All he says is “Don’t worry about it. You’ll be fine.” I should go poop in his office bathroom, light a match, and then see if he has anything more to say about this. Anyone else having these problems or am I the only horribly stinky guy in the world?

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no i don't have that problem, but i did have a good belly laugh. Try changing your food. Your intestines are shorter and the food can't process as easily in the shorter tract. Stools also smell when you eat food to which you have an intolerance So as an experiment try 5 days of health food. Food that does not cause an allergy. Do not eat wheat, corn dairy sugar or beans including soy for 5 days. Try to eat only fish, chicken, brown rice veggies and fruit and don't eat fruit with your meals.

if your food is rotting in your gut, that may be why it smells....

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Oh geeze. I never thought of "food rotting in my gut." I always thought food turned to poop and it was what was keeping me alive and vertical. I thank you sincerely for your suggestions but, as I said, I don't adapt well to change and I just had a steak dinner with fried potatoes, and beans and corn mixed together. I can't eat meals without beans and corn mixed together. It's a semi-religious thing with me and I hate rice. I never had an intolerance to anything before so I'll have a beer or two and see what that does. Thanks again though. I guess I'll just have to get used to the smell or get another dog that has a smelling disability to help me poop.

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Ya... Dump the dog, get a cat. They smell about as bad as we do when they poop. God, you make me laugh!!! I'm having the same problem with the smell of my diarrhea lately. It's almost enough to drive ME out of the bathroom WHILE I'm still pooping. Holy crap Batman!

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The price you pay for being a confirmed 'lost cause' when it comes to healthy eating.
Consequences, my friend. Your digestive system is doing it's darndest, in spite of all you put it through.
Since it is almost impossible for you to 'change your ways', you are bound to have to suffer the aroma.
Your dog shouldn't have to suffer with you, though.

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I would try some "just a drop", or "poo-pourri", (you put a drop or spray into the toilet before you poop) although you may have to add a bit more than normal before you poop if it's super-smelly. I keep some in my purse in case myself or Tony need to go to the bathroom at a public place, such as church, or the movies, or whatever - and don't want to smell things up.

There is also a product in a chewable tablet form called "devrom" that is fda approved and is suppose to eliminate stool odor. I can't attest to it's effectiveness, but some people say it works really well. I would definitely check with your doc before taking it, though.

Anyway, good luck with your smelly problem!


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have the steak and fried potatoes, just skip the corn and beans. You can do that for 5 days..... if you can adjust to the bag for the rest of your life, i know you can try something for 5 days

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Well, I had to wait for the tears to suside a little before posting. You need to write a book for sure!

I have a solution for the smell - it's an Amish room deodorizer. Light a match and swirl it around - will take care of the smell pretty quick like. Those Amish people are so smart. They must have the same problems.


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Katuha, have spent a little time thinking over your problems, not too long obviously. The dog problem is easy, you have a clever dog there he knows if stays far enough away he can't be blamed for the smell.
Also thought of a way you can make money out of this! You know that Black and Decker Vax you were thinking of using on "the little guy" a week or two ago how about running a pipe from it into a neighbours basement you don't like and using the vax as a toilet extractor, fumes not excrement, well maybe excrement f you really don't like them!
When they put the house up for sale pick it up cheap because of the smell, job done, money made!

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I love reading your posts. Whenever I need a good laugh, I look for a post from you.
Have you gotten your power back yet? Every time the local news lists how many people are still without power, broken down by providers, I wonder if you have gotten your electricity back on yet. I have quite a few family and friends in northern NJ who still don't have electricity as of last night. Hope you're not one of the numbers I saw this morning in PA who are still without it.

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I'm electrified again. Thanks for asking. Here's the story in case you missed it. orms-and-setting-new-urine-bag-drainage-records/

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Thanks for your strange suggestions but we live in the woods and the closest neighbor is 1/2 mile away. B & D won't work that far away and it didn't work on my little guy either. He and his two formerly round friends that are sort of blue now will not tolerate another suction therapy attempt again so we're looking for other more gentle options. 1/2 mile still is too close for me as far as neighbors are concerned. Some of my "neighbors" up the creek think I'm a "savage" because of drums beating in the woods during some of our Native American ceremonies. Others sit on their back porches and absolutely love the sound of the drums and the singing to the drumbeats. I accept the tag of "savage" with grace and humility because I am fully armed at all times. Everyone knows that so there is peace in our valley for the moment. I'd rather it be 3 or 4 miles between me and my neighbors but can't afford to buy and demolish their homes yet. I'm working on it. Is that hose thing the kind of thing you guys do to your neighbors in the U.K.? You "do" have really strange accents. Please ask your Queen if she'd be willing to come back over here and take over the colonies again. Today is election day here in the states. What a zoo. We actually have another tea party going on. Don't tell the Queen about that though. Stay well, Mate. HAPPY TRAILS

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Barb, I have to assume that you did not see the recent news story about the Amishman, Jake Hoosenfart, who was blown up in his outhouse out in Intercourse, PA when he lit a match and swirled it around for smell elimination. They're still looking for Jake and his family lost, 3 horses, one donkey, and a buggy as well as the outhouse. Turns out Jake was also one of us really unusually stinky guys and I'm afraid of the volatility of the fumes and don't want to wind up like Jake did. Thanks for your suggestion though. BTW: I do truly still have a backup outhouse out in the woods just in case but I'd never l light anything in there.

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I gotta chime in here. LOL! You are so great and I love you dearly but I gotta side with Joyus on this. There's a reason your poo smells that bad. It's your body's way of telling you that something you are putting in it is bad! You don't have to change everything all at once. I hate change too. Seriously, it takes an act of God to get me to change my ways, but if you can eliminate one, just one, bad thing for 5 days and see if there is a change in your scent..if that's not it go back to eating it and eliminate one other thing. It's the only way to figure out what's causing it.
I've said it before after having colon cancer, you can learn alot about your health by the consistency and smell and texture and color of your poops. You have made it through so much already, figuring out what the issue is here should be a piece of cake for you! (and not the kind you eat!) It would be a shame for you to have done everything you have done already with surgery and recovery and working with your little guy to let it all go to sh** now! Pun fully intended!
With much love,

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Thanks, Wendy. I'm giving up chocolate pie today.

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Bahahaha. Not quite what I meant but hey, ya gotta start somewhere! You rock!

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Do not do anything rash with your diet, particularly with chocolate ..... suggest you cut out one cup of coffee!


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Katuha, what you say about our accents is totally true they are weird we can live twenty miles apart and sound totally different.
I come from Birmingham which isn't far off the centre of the UK, we are known as Brummie's. In the news at the moment the Birmingham city council are having to bin an automated phone system because it can't understand Brummie's . So if a dedicated phone system cannot understand us what chance have you Yanks got!
When I visit the US have overcome the problem of people not understanding me, I shout, seems to work.
By the way I work for an Indian company not red Indian though my company is based in Mumbai.
Hope your poo starts smelling of roses.

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ka tuha
just a few mins ago i was crying over mysis who passed on aug 30 and was looking for some consolation and having a pity party here then all of a sudden i found your post...... i was laughing so hysterically i woke up my son in next room..... i am now wiping away tears of laughter from you. you are the biggest rip i ever read...... i love you...thank you for waking me up out of my funk today. you are hands down hysterical..... thanky you..... we need to keep hearing from you.......

katuah you are the BEST MEDICINCE


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I think I told you the vacuum story a couple of weeks ago and then you had to try it didn't you. Some people just don't learn do they. Was the vacuum fun or like I relayed in the story from someone else. I'll be the sonic vibration was hoot wasn't it.


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One item I use to help with digestion is Papaya Enzymes. It is natural, acts like rolaids, Tums, and Bean-o all at once. Can get them from GNC. $20 for about 600 pills, can eat up to 9 in one day. Tastes like baby aspirin.

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